Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

F98CE5C17FA966E812BF6D3AC4DE_h316_w628_m5_cHISxHeIVWELCOME to Monday June 24, 2013.   Really Dumb Questions…

As far as dumb questions go, well…
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can’t woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
“hi, my name’s Bob. I’m an alcoholic”?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu what would you call it?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think i’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
12. If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They’re both dogs.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn’t he buy his dinner?
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your A*s?
23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do today, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY 
You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.
Jack London
Giving opens the way for receiving.
Florence Scovel Shinn
Art hurts. Art urges voyages – and it is easier to stay at home.
Gwendolyn Brooks
Nature is never finished.
Robert Smithson
Until Eve arrived, this was a man’s world.
Richard Armour
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A passenger jet taxiing down the runway, abruptly came to a stop, turned around and returned to the gate and stopped. Eventually, after an hour-long wait, the flight finally took off to air.
 
A scared concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”
 
“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine.” explained the Flight Attendant.
 
“Well, I hope it’s all sorted now.” Replied the nervous passenger.
 
“Oh yes, it’s fine now Sir, it just took us a while to find a new pilot and replace him.” 
 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “I knew a man once who said, ‘Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.'”
 
 Answer: Gladiator! “Gladiator” in my opinion, is an exceptional movie and is directed by the fantastic Ridley Scott. It tells the epic story of a fierce Roman General in the Roman Army, who is sold into slavery and made to fight in the great arena of the Colosseum. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? 
“I remember the moment you fell in love with me, I could see it in your eyes. I can still see it.”
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What famous classical composition is shown by the following:
Bach, Berlioz, Bizet, Borodin, Beethoven, Brahms
 
ANSWER:  Beethoven’s Fifth
(Beethoven is fifth in the list)
 
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
You see me often ladies,
For I am a part of your life.
I sometimes bother babies
But prefer to cause adults strife.
My looks are a sign of your personality.
My strength cannot measure up to yours.
With most people I am there for eternity.
Onto me, water often pours.
Many look to me with pride,
While others wish to change me.
Drifting slowly, my time I bide
Waiting for you to see
That I am just a thing you’re given,
Not something very important.
For I have always been and will forever be dead.
 
Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers& Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,
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