Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

mother_mouth

WELCOME to Monday, October 30, 2015.   

No wonder the English language is so very difficult to learn:

We polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

A farm can produce produce.

The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.

The soldier decided to desert in the desert.

The present is a good time to present the present to the President.

At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.

The dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance for the invalid was invalid.

The bandage was wound around the wound.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of Novocaine injections, my jaw got number.

I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“I miss the days when Halloween was a simple holiday about making ritual sacrifices to evil spirits to ensure a plentiful harvest.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“I love it when people dress up their dogs in Halloween costumes. But I don’t like it when I tell someone how cute their dog looks, and they’re like ‘Hey, that’s my child.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“I don’t have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor’s dog.” -Dwight Schrute, The Office 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

You’ve all heard of the Air Force’s ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” 

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their “secret” base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. 

The pilot’s story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. 

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn’t a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying “you-did-not-see-a-base” briefing, told him Vegas was that-a-way and sent him on his way. 

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP’s surrounded the plane…only this time there were two people in the plane. 

The same pilot jumped out and said, “Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night.”  

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “There are two guys carrying a coffin out there.”

Answer: Fright Night! While Amy is sitting on the bed waiting for Charley to come to her, he gets side-tracked by what looks like a coffin being carried into the house next door.

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “We’ve been forgiven.”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Use the syllables in the sylalist to complete the clues below. Each clue gives how many syllables the answer of it has. Can you complete every question?

Sylalist: al, ag, er, ful, ga, hope, ig, im, ine, ize, loo, rand, re, rus, sa, wal

1. Arctic marine mammal (2)

2. Eskimo Home (2)

3. Optimistic (2)

4. Understand Clearly (3)

5. Chore (2)

6. Suppose (3)

7. Long Narrative (2)   

ANSWER: 1. Walrus (wal rus)  2. Igloo (ig loo)  3. Hopeful (hope ful)  4. Realize (re al ize)  5. Errand (er rand)

6. Imagine (im ag ine)  7. Saga (sa ga)

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What is the meaning of this rebus?

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQUSTRVWXYZ

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 29, 2015.   

Clever Collective Nouns………

A plethora of lispers
A mingling of broken vases
A tenet of palindromes
A hotbed of quilts
A veneer of newscasters
A brace of orthodontists
A rash of dermatologists
A gaggle of censors [or comedians]
An amalgam of dentists
A cast of orthopaedists
A slew of retired hit men
A box of pugilists
A concert of yes men
A flash of paparazzi
A bunch of florists
A set of hairdressers
A herd of otologists

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

A friend had a waitressing position open at his diner and asked job seekers to fill out an application. Under “Salary Expected,” a woman wrote “Friday.” 

The highlight of our zoo trip was a peacock showing off its plumage. My four-year-old son was particularly taken with it. That evening, he couldn’t wait to tell his father: “Dad, guess what! I saw a Christmas tree come out of a chicken!” 

Driving in Ohio, we spotted a sign that read, “Wildlife Refuge.” Seeing a dead deer lying in front of it, my husband shook his head. “He almost made it.”  

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

 My wife was in her gynecologist’s busy waiting room when a cell phone rang. A woman answered it, and for the next few minutes, she explained to her caller in intimate detail her symptoms and what she suspected might be wrong. 

Suddenly the conversation shifted, and the woman said, “Him? I’m finished with him.” Then she added, “Can we talk about this later? It’s rather personal, and I’m in a room full of people.”Emoji 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “It’s something you’ll remember forever, isn’t it? I know I will.” 

Answer: John Carpenter’s Vampires! Valek says this to Katrina as he is feeding   

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I don’t want to be like him. Make me like you.”

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

Find out what the animals are! (for example, “To run away or escape” could be a “flea”)

1. A strong body tissue

2. Government head of a town/city

3. To sound low, husky, or grating

4. Relating to a group of singers

5. Stealin’

6. A parent’s female sibling

7. A mythical curse or bond

8. A second-person pronoun

9. Thin thread-like outgrowth from the skin

10. To exist. A form of ‘am’ or ‘was.’  

ANSWER: 1. Mussel (Muscle)  2. Mare (Mayor)  3. Horse (Hoarse)  4. Coral (Choral)  5. Robin (Robbin’)  6. Ant (Aunt)

7. Geese (Geas)  8. Ewe (You)  9. Hare (Hair)  10. Bee (Be)  

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

What does the star represent in the rebus:

A N O

T * I

TENT

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 

 EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, October 27, 2015.   

Playing with a Funny Word or Two – The Illogical English Language

  • Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?
  • When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
  • Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
  • The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
  • In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
  • Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
  • Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
  • Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
  • Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.

Funny Collective Nouns

  1. A sentence of judges
  2. A load of cobblers
  3. An expectation of midwives
  4. A conflagration of arsonists
  5. An illusion of magicians
  6. A horde of misers
  7. An exaggeration of fishermen
  8. A flush of plumbers
  9. A scoop of journalists
  10. A decanter of publicans

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Tom Brady just did an interview where he called Coca-Cola ‘poison for kids’ and said he didn’t think Frosted Flakes is actually food. That story again: Do NOT go trick-or-treating at Tom Brady’s house! ‘Who wants some raisins and toothbrushes?!'” -Jimmy Fallon

“I have a strict policy. I will not and do not publicize unsubstantiated rumors about anyone unless they’re very funny.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“Oprah Winfrey is buying a 10 percent stake in Weight Watchers. Oprah’s financial advisor asked her if she wanted to buy a large stake and Oprah said, ‘Oh, yeah!'” -Conan O’Brien  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A couple are sitting in their living room, sipping wine. Out of the blue, the wife murmurs, “I love you.”

“Is that you or the wine talking?” asks the husband.

“It’s me,” says the wife, “talking to the wine.” 

 

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I want no quarrel with him.” “No, no, it’s already begun!” 

Answer:  Interview with the Vampire! Louis is speaking to Armand of Santiago.

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Psychos don’t explode when sunlight hits them, I don’t care how crazy they are!”

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

The blanks in the following sentences will be filled in with three different homonyms (words that are spelled differently but sound alike) to make valid sentences. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the words. Can you fill in the blanks?

1. The cut on his _ _ _ _ won’t _ _ _ _ in time for the race, so _ _ ‘_ _ have to drop out.

2. The man was so upset about being _ _ _ _ that he regularly _ _ _ _ _ _ himself up on the bed and _ _ _ _ _ _ his eyes out.

3. I couldn’t _ _ _ _ _ any of the _ _ _ _ _ _ in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 _ _ _ _ _ crammed up my nose.

4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the _ _ _ _ and essentially _ _ _ _ _ everything he _ _ _ _.  

ANSWER: 1. The cut on his HEEL won’t HEAL in time for the race, so HE’LL have to drop out.

2. The man was so upset about being BALD that he regularly BALLED himself up on the bed and BAWLED his eyes out.

3. I couldn’t SENSE any of the SCENTS in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 CENTS crammed up my nose.

4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the SEAS and essentially SEIZE everything he SEES. 

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Recently, Snow White’s seven dwarfs met up with three of their friends and went to the cinema to see Bambi. From the clues below, can you determine the order in which they stood in the ticket queue? 

Grumpy was in front of Dopey. Stumpy was behind Sneezy and Doc. Doc was in front of Droopy and Happy. 

Sleepy was behind Stumpy, Smelly and Happy. 

Happy was in front of Sleepy, Smelly and Bashful. 

Bashful was behind Smelly, Droopy and Sleepy.

Sneezy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was in front of Grumpy, Stumpy and Sneezy. 

Dopey was in front of Droopy. 

Sleepy was in front of Grumpy and Bashful. 

Dopey was behind Sneezy, Doc and Sleepy. 

Stumpy was in front of Dopey. Smelly was behind Doc.

  

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 

 EmojiEmojiEmojiEmojiEmoji 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, October 26, 2015.   

Today’s Pondering…… 

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

When you’re swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray!

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.

Why do they report power outages on TV? 

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren’t afraid to have a Chapter 11? 

I asked my wife why there were so many dings on the driver’s side of her Mercedes and she said the brakes must be bad on that side.

After you lose an election, will they let you back into all the exclusive clubs you resigned from?

This is the only place in the country where people pull over and stop for a funeral, but speed up to cut off an ambulance or a firetruck.

I went out today and bought everything I’ve been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.

The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.

I really feel sorry for Madonna’s baby, having to grow without a last name.

Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?

The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end. 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“This week was Earth Science week. It’s the week you have to celebrate if you aren’t smart enough for bio or chemistry week.” -Seth Meyers 

“New research shows that China has a bigger middle class than America, and more people in China are living what we would call the ‘American Dream.’ That’s when you know things are bad – when even the American DREAM is made in China.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A high school student hacked the AOL email account of John Brennan, the director of the CIA. In other words, the student correctly guessed that the password of anyone still using AOL is ‘password.'” –Conan O’Brien  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A group of 40-year-old buddies discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there have low-cut blouses.

Ten years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

Ten years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

Ten years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

Ten years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should have dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they have never been there before. 

 

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “There isn’t any magic.”  

Answer: Martin! Not really one of my favorites, but it was so quirky, I had to mention it. Martin says this to his uncle who is convinced he is a real, Dracula-type vampire, but Martin knows he is just a sick kid who likes to drink blood.   

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I want no quarrel with him.” “No, no, it’s already begun!”

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

I have two arms and a back,

Supported by four legs.

But there is something I do lack,

Actually, I have no eyes to see.

I also cannot move around,

Or at least, not on my own.

Unfortunately I can make no sound,

Except perhaps a squeak.

If you chop off my head,

You are left with a hair.

If you chop off my tail,

Only tea is left there.

One more clue I will add,

Is that you often use me.

Yet you barely ever notice,

In fact I’d much rather be a tree. 

What am I?  

ANSWER: A Chair. If you chop off the first letter, you are left with “hair”.  

If you chop off the last letter, you are left with “chai”. 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

The blanks in the following sentences will be filled in with three different homonyms (words that are spelled differently but sound alike) to make valid sentences. The dashes indicate the number of letters in the words. Can you fill in the blanks?

1. The cut on his _ _ _ _ won’t _ _ _ _ in time for the race, so _ _ ‘_ _ have to drop out.

2. The man was so upset about being _ _ _ _ that he regularly _ _ _ _ _ _ himself up on the bed and _ _ _ _ _ _ his eyes out.

3. I couldn’t _ _ _ _ _ any of the _ _ _ _ _ _ in the flower shop, because for some strange reason I had 50 _ _ _ _ _ crammed up my nose.

4. A bloodthirsty pirate will wander the _ _ _ _ and essentially _ _ _ _ _ everything he _ _ _ _.         

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, October 22, 2015.    

One liners for the day……… 

1. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea… does that mean that one enjoys it?

2. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

3. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

4. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when 

you see one tumble down the stairs.

5. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

6. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

7. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

8. I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian

9. A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

10. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

11. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

12. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

13. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

14. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?

15. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Check out: These drawings tell us a lot about children’s attitudes to technology

16. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

17. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

18. Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

19. God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

20. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

21. Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.

22. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

23. Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.

24. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

“Starbucks is adding a new feature to their drive-through locations, video screens. So that way you can see the person misspell your name on the cup while it’s happening.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new survey, fewer than 2 percent of hiring managers said they were actively recruiting graduates with liberal arts degrees. Said liberal arts graduates, ‘Latte for Karen.'” -Seth Meyers

“Mayor Bill de Blasio signed a bill last week that requires stores here in New York City to keep their doors closed when their air conditioning is on. So apparently Bill de Blasio is not only our Mayor, he’s also our dad. ‘I’m not paying to cool off the whole world! SHUT THAT DOOR!'” -Jimmy Fallon 

  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: “I am placed in the door and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go.” 

“But how do you know when you are going to land?” he was asked. 

“I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground” he answered. 

“But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?” he was again asked. 

The man quickly answered. “Oh, the dog’s leash goes slack.”

 

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “You know, all you do is give attitude lately. Been watching too much ‘Dynasty’, bud?”   

Answer:   The Lost Boys! Sam says this to Michael and gets a nice middle finger as a response. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You haven’t been feeding her.”

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

I am a world-renowned “symbol”. In the English language, if I’m added to a noun, it turns to an adjective (in most cases).  If you put horizontal lines through me, I become a currency, but it is not used in many countries.  In Spanish, I am a “symbol”, but also I am a word. I am used to connect words and phrases. If you watch your School House Rock, I go along with a junction.  What am I? 

ANSWER: I am Y.

When Y is added to a noun, it often makes it an adjective; i.e. Hair+y=hairy, Smell+y=Smelly, etc.

When you put two horizontals line through a Y, it makes the Yen symbol, found in Japan.

In the Spanish language, Y is the translation for “and”, which is a conjunction. If you watch School House Rock, they do a whole skit on Conjunction Junction. 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Each of the following sentences has three missing words. The first missing word of each sentence is 6 letters long, the second missing word is 5 letters long, and the third missing word is 4 letters long. All the 6 letter words are anagrams of each other, as are all the 5 letter words, and all the 4 letter words. Can you fill in the blanks?

1) Nobody would ______ to the old pirate any more, because his _____ were far too ____.

2) The fans were ______ as the opposition managed to _____ the game from the home ____.

3) When he decided to ______, he did not expect _____ bread with his ____ every meal.

4) On many of the lake’s ______ in the Spring, _____ will be out looking for a ____. 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, October 21, 2015.    

Weird Questions….

01.If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 

02.When dog food is new with improved tasting, who tests it?  

03.What is the speed of darkness?  

04.If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?  

05.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?  

06.Can you cry under water?  

07.Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day?  

08.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?  

09.Do fish ever get thirsty?  

10.Can you get cornered in a round room?  

11.What does OK actually mean?

12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? 

13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange?  

14.What should one call a male ladybird?  

15.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?  

16.Can you blow a balloon up under water?  

17.Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?  

18.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?  

19.If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?  

20.Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one?  

21.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?  

22.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?  

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday and whatever you do,  don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

 “Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.” –Thomas Jefferson 

“The best way out is always through.” –Robert Frost 

“Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.” 

–Elbert Hubbard   

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit. 

One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. 

When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork. 

“Who are you?” he asked. “I’m the Devil!” she responded. 

“Well, come on home with me,” he said, “I married your sister!”   

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Not too low.’    

Answer: The Air Up There! Jimmy (Kevin Bacon) says this just before the Winabi medicine man cuts him in his pelvic region, thus making him an official member of the Winabi.  

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You know, all you do is give attitude lately. Been watching too much ‘Dynasty’, bud?” 

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

In this word pyramid you have to take the letters from the word pea and put them around the ‘h’ to form a new word. Once you have the next word, do the same with the next line.

pea

h _ _ _

s _ _ _ _

_ _ r _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ n

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ l 

ANSWER: Pea  Heap  Shape  Phrase/seraph  Sharpen  Shrapnel   

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

I am a world-renowned “symbol”. In the English language, if I’m added to a noun, it turns to an adjective (in most cases). 

If you put horizontal lines through me, I become a currency, but it is not used in many countries.

In Spanish, I am a “symbol”, but also I am a word. I am used to connect words and phrases. If you watch your School House Rock, I go along with a junction.

What am I?

 

 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SMART SOLVING BANKS! 

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Tuesday, October 20, 2015.    

OLD KIDS never die, they just grow up

OLD KNIGHTS IN CHAIN MAIL never die, they just shuffle off their metal coils

OLD LASER PHYSICISTS never die, they just become incoherent

OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal

OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their briefs

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, their computers have Fatal Errors

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just check out

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just get re-shelved

OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just lose their references

OLD LIGHT BULBS never die, they just blink out

OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under

OLD LINGUISTS never die, they just rearrange their deep structures

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just float away

OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just make a big production of it 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday and whatever you do,  

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!  

 

 

DAILY QUOTES….    

My girlfriend told me to take a spider out instead of killing it. So we went and had some drinks. Cool guy. Wants to be a lawyer.

When my wife gets upset, sometimes a simple ‘Calm down, Honey’ in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot more upset.

“I think the bottom-line difference between being single and married is this: When you’re single you’re as happy as you are. When you’re married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the house.” –Tom Hertz  

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

I was in small-claims court when I listened in on the case of a woman who held a good job but still had trouble paying her bills on time. “Can’t you live within your income?” asked the judge.

“No, Your Honor,” she said. “It’s all I can do to live within my credit.”  

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???    

‘I made a funny. Ha ha ha ha.’ 

Answer:   Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Master Splinter says this at the end of the first movie. He makes another ‘funny’ at the end of the second movie. 

Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘Not too low.’ 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….

What expression is represented below?

+ DEEF   

ANSWER:  Positive feedback  

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

In this word pyramid you have to take the letters from the word pea and put them around the ‘h’ to form a new word. Once you have the next word, do the same with the next line.

pea

h _ _ _

s _ _ _ _

_ _ r _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ n

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ l

  

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.