Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday, July 1, 2016.  

Here’s the story… 

A therapist has a theory that the more often couples make love, the happier they are. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love 2 to 3 times a week?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “How about once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?”

One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked as this lone aberration disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “what are you so happy about?”

The man yells, “Today’s the day!”Emoji (Life is full of challenges, it’s up to you to manage them…positive/negative)

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great July 4th weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!    

 

DAILY QUOTES….   

“The British voted to exit the European Union. They call it the Brexit, which, in America, of course is the meal between breakfast and exiting breakfast.” -Stephen Colbert

“The FDA has approved a device for weight loss that sucks the food out of your stomach through an abdominal incision. Or, you could just try a salad some time.” -Conan O’Brien

“A Georgia man is facing charges after he tried to enter a Waffle House completely naked. Ugh. Can you imagine? Walking into a Waffle House barefoot?” -Seth Meyers 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

At an art gallery, a woman and her 10 year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one.

“I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one,” said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the mother-son interaction.

“No,” said the boy. “This painting is wider, so it’ll cover the three holes I put in the wall.”Emoji 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “All I need is a watermelon and two jelly doughnuts.” 

ANSWER: Porky’s! This was said by Dan Monahan who played Pee Wee Morris. 

Friday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I’m fine.”

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Six words that contain YO as a letter-pair have had all of their other letters removed and placed into a pool. Put those letters back in their proper places. What are the words?

YO—, YO—-, -YO—, –YO–, —YO-, —-YO

Pool: A, B, B, C, C, D, D, D, E, E, E, E, I, L, M, M, N, N, N, N, P, R, R  

ANSWER: YODEL, YONDER, MYOPIC, BEYOND, CANYON, EMBRYO 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

My veins extend beneath the earth, 

My hands raised toward the sky, 

I can seem to live forever, 

Though many times I die. 

I cry when I am wounded, 

Sweet tears that help me heal, 

I mourn and take off all my clothes, 

When bitterness I feel. 

What am I?

                         

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/   

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.com.

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Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, May 27, 2015.      

Fallacies……….. 

So much of what we assume, upon further scrutiny, we discover to be just plain wrong. Collected here are some 

bits of trivia that poke holes in our most coveted myths, misconceptions and outright falsehoods.

Ninjas, historically, didn’t wear black. For nighttime operations, they wore dark blues, dark grays, and browns.

Although most people believe Napoleon was short, he was actually five feet six inches tall, an average height for a Frenchman in those days.

The idea that it is dangerous to wake a sleepwalker is a myth.

Nonalcoholic beer isn’t. Most brands of non-alcoholic beer contain about .5% alcohol.

Even though you might think so, America is not the world’s top producer of feature films. That honor goes to India.

The “v” in the name of a court case does not stand for “versus,” but for “and” (in civil proceedings) or “against” (in criminal proceedings).

White paws on cats are commonly called “boots” when, in fact, they are actually referred to as “gloves.” 

Contrary to popular belief, gladiators were lousy fighters in real combat. They were trained solely for arena fighting. On the actual battlefield, their skills were mediocre.

Potatoes weren’t originally grown as food. They were grown for use as ornamental decorations.

Shoemakers are commonly called “cobblers,” but correctly speaking, a cobbler is a shoe repairman. A shoemaker is a “cordwainer.”

Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Riders didn’t ride, ever, during the Spanish-American War. In fact, they weren’t Teddy’s. He was second in command.

Despite what you might think, just 20% of the Sahara is covered with sand. The rest is rocky.

The nose isn’t the only thing that the Sphinx is missing. It once had a royal beard, a cobra emblem, and other pieces of masonry. Bits of what is left of the beard are in the British Museum.

Ducks are never male. The males of the species are called drakes.

The day after Thanksgiving is reported to be the “busiest shopping day of the year,” but it’s not true. In terms of sales, the highest sales day of the year is usually either the last Saturday before Christmas or December 23.

The first umbrellas weren’t intended to protect people from the rain. They were invented by the ancient Egyptians to shield them from the sun.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, 

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman! 

 

 

QUOTES OF THE DAY   

 “Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air.” 

–Ralph Waldo Emerson 

“There’s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?” 

–Dick Cavett 

“Joy is not in things; it is in us.” 

–Richard Wagner 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  

But baby pigeon said, “I can’t make it; I’ll get too tired.” His mother said, “Don’t worry; I’ll tie a piece of string to one of your legs and the other end to mine.”   The baby started to cry.  “What’s wrong?” said the mother.  “I don’t want to be pigeon towed!” 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Gig for Bean!”  

Answer: Cadence! Martin Sheen’s character rules with an iron fist over the troops. Every time anyone acts up in ANY way they get a gig “and gigs are bad!” Charlie Sheen plays the rebel soldier who questions not only the authority but the sanity of his commanding General (Martin Sheen). All the while learning from the leader of the new group he was added to (Lawrence Fishbourne). 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “You’re turning into a one-woman USO!”

   

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

A man wanted to get into a members only club so he hid and watched the guard at the door of the club house. The guard said a number to each member as they approached, and the member would respond with a number of their own. If the member responded with the correct number they were let in. If they responded incorrectly they were thrown out. One member came up to the door, the guard said twelve, and the member responded with six and was let in. Another member came to the door, the guard said six and the member responded with three and was let in. Believing he had heard enough, the reject went up to the guard. The guard said ten, and the reject said five, but was not let in. What should the reject have said?  

ANSWER: He should have said three, the number of letters in the number the guard said. 

 

Wednesday’s  Quizzler is……….

Whenever a phrase or sentence becomes part of the common language, there is a strong possibility that it will be quoted inaccurately.

Over the course of time, a letter gets shifted or a word is changed and forevermore the quotation becomes a cliche that nobody ever gets quite right.

Try to complete each proverbial cliche:

1.) ” I only regret that I have but one life to ______ for my country.” – Nathan Hale

2.) “Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no ______ .”

3.) “Music hath charms to soothe ______ .” – William Congreve

  

 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.  https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/  

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orghttp://myinvitepay.com/?ref=225785

 

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Friday September 27, 2013.  

Famous Mothers…

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered,
you still could have written!”
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER:
“Can’t you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to
get that stuff off the ceiling?”
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER:
“All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card
inside your jacket, take your hand out of
there and show me.”
ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER:
“Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just
wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
MARY’S MOTHER:
“I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
but I would like to know how he got a
better grade than you.”
GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER:
“The next time I catch you throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER:
“Of course I’m proud that you invented the
electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!”
PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go,
young man, midnight is past your curfew.”
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior picture.
Can’t you do something about your hair . . .
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“President Clinton is on the program tonight. We have a lot of security here. Even I had to go through security. I was frisked. I was groped. I was patted down. Then I got back in line.” -Dave Letterman
“California has been invaded by four new species of lizards, and they’re legless. Every time a new species is discovered, why is it some kind of slimy lizard or slug thing? Why can’t they discover a long-lost, extra-cute kitty cat or a super-cuddly ferret?” -Craig Ferguson
“Traffic has come to a complete stop in Hollywood because we have a huge free concert with Paul McCartney tonight. Either that or all of those people outside just fell for our biggest prank ever.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore and at the front door there was a scale.
“Look, a scale,” the man said to his friend. “Let’s see how my new diet is working out.”
He stepped on the scale.
“I can’t believe it!” he said as he read the result. “I’ve been on this diet for two weeks but the scale says I’m heaver than I was before! How can that be?”
He pondered this as he stepped off the scale, then had a thought. He took off his jacket and handed it to his friend. “Here, hold my jacket,” he said.
The friend took the jacket as the man stepped back on the scale.
Not much change.
“Here,” he said as he handed his purchase from the drugstore to his friend. “Hold my Twinkies too.”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???   “I’m sorry I called your wife a fat bloated warthog.” is said by Connor McLeod in which movie?
 
Answer: Highlander! Connor McLeod (Christopher Lambert) mutters this when he is in duel in Boston Commons, and is tired of getting stabbed repeatedly. This is one of the many flashback scenes in “Highlander” (1986). “Highlander” is the classic story of the immortal Connor McLeod and it goes from the Highlands of Scotland in 1538, when Connor is a young man and is first killed in battle, all the way up to 1986 New York where he is still alive and playing The Game. Immortals fight for the prize, and the last one standing gets all the powers of all the other immortals. Whoever wins gets to decide the fate of the world. 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  “Must go faster. Must go faster. Go go go,” 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What inference can you draw from the following statements:
 
1. Some alligators carry umbrellas in the shower.
2. Only those that know that flying fish live in trees prefer caramel candy to chocolate.
3. Certain days are set aside for alligators to watch rabbits play hockey.
4. Some large reptiles are steeplechasers.
5. Only steeplechasers can watch hockey games.
6.Those alligators that carry umbrellas in the shower know that flying fish live in the trees.
7. Those that prefer chocolate to caramel candy cannot be steeplechasers.
8. Steeplechasers are vegetarians.
ANSWER:  Only alligators that are vegetarians are allowed to watch rabbits play hockey.
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The following great kings are together today in what common form?
King David
King Arthur
Charlemagne and
Julius Caesar

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 
 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday September 26, 2013.  

TOP TEN BAD THINGS ABOUT HAVING A SUMMER TIME SHARE WITH DARTH VADER…
10. Claims those long-distance calls to the Death Star aren’t his.
9. Uses Jedi powers to shake up your root beer right before you open it.
8. He’s always accusing you of hiding his asthma inhaler.
7. Claims he paid you the rent “a long, long time ago.”
6. Dances around in nothing but cape and cowboy hat while doing “Darth Brooks” routine.
5. For once he could use Force to lift his wet towel off the couch.
4. That scary music that plays when he enters a room gets old real fast.
3. You feel like an idiot saying, “No, Darth isn’t here. He’s on the ice planet Hoth.”
2. Not easy cleaning burnt Ewok fur off the barbecue grill.
1. Constantly doing his lame James Earl Jones impression.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
 “Hope is necessary in every condition.”
– Samuel Johnson
“Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.”
– Mark Twain
“Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.”
– Woody Allen
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A Hollywood director was shooting a big budget movie on location in the desert. One day an old Indian came up to him and said, “Tomorrow rain.”
And sure enough the next day it rained.
A few days later, the old Indian appeared on set again, sidled up to the director and said, “Tomorrow storm.”
And sure enough, the following day there was a fearful storm which brought a temporary halt to filming.
The director was hugely impressed by the old Indian’s weather predictions and told his secretary to put the tribesman on the payroll. However, after a number of other successful forecasts, the Indian didn’t show for three weeks. Then the director sent for him.
The director said, “I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow and I’m relying on you. What is the weather going to be like?”
The old Indian shrugged his shoulders, “Don’t know. Radio broken.”
 
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “Artax! Stupid horse! You’ve got to move or you’ll die! Don’t let the sadness of the swamp get to you. You’ve got to try. You’ve got to care for me. Artax you’re my friend. I love you.” is said by Atryu in what movie?
 
Answer: The Neverending Story! Artax is sinking in the Swamps of Sadness in the “Neverending Story” (1984). And in a sad twist of fate, one of the horses that was playing Artax did die doing that scene. The stunt crew couldn’t get the floor to rise again and the horse drowned. “Neverending Story” is about a young boy who takes a book from a library and becomes part of the adventure as he reads along. . 
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???   “I’m sorry I called your wife a fat bloated warthog.” is said by Connor McLeod in which movie?
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
ANSWER: You’re on the right track.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What inference can you draw from the following statements:
1. Some alligators carry umbrellas in the shower.
2. Only those that know that flying fish live in trees prefer caramel candy to chocolate.
3. Certain days are set aside for alligators to watch rabbits play hockey.
4. Some large reptiles are steeplechasers.
5. Only steeplechasers can watch hockey games.
6.Those alligators that carry umbrellas in the shower know that flying fish live in the trees.
7. Those that prefer chocolate to caramel candy cannot be steeplechasers.
8. Steeplechasers are vegetarians.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

3948255FE110CF266E76050992C35_h316_w628_m5_cKnaFYhKVWELCOME to Tuesday September 24, 2013.  Chinese Jews…….

Sid and Al were sitting in a Chinese restaurant. “Sid,” asked Al, “Are there any Jews in China?”
“I don’t know,” Sid replied. “Why don’t we ask the waiter?”
When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Chinese Jews?”
“I don’t know sir, let me ask,” the waiter replied, and he went into the kitchen. He returned in a few minutes and said, “No, sir. No Chinese Jews.”
“Are you sure?” Al asked.
“I will check again, sir.” the waiter replied and went back to the kitchen.
While he was still gone, Sid said, “I cannot believe there are no Jews in China. Our people are scattered everywhere.”
When the waiter returned he said, “Sir, no Chinese Jews.”
“Are you really sure?” Al asked again. “I cannot believe there are no Chinese Jews.”
“Sir, I ask everyone,” the waiter replied exasperated. “We have Orange Jews, Prune Jews, Tomato Jews and Grape Jews, but no Chinese Jews!”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“Kevin Trudeau, the king of infomercials, has been sent to jail for fraud. The judge sentenced him to 10 years. But then he said, ‘Wait, there’s more,’ and added another five years.” -Conan O’Brien
“It looks like the federal government could be shutting down. The legal definition of a government shutdown is when Congress continues not to work, but they do it from home.” -Jay Leno
“Two guys in New Hampshire were arrested after they tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo. Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A young couple honeymooning in Las Vegas were down to their last two dollars. The groom told the bride that he had a feeling that he could turn the two bucks into a fortune if he went down to the casino alone.
Once in the casino, he put one dollar each into two slot machines and won Jackpots on both totaling $10,000. He then played blackjack for an hour until he had $50,000 in chips. Next, he played poker and upped his winnings to $100,000.
He was about to cash in his chips when he got a hunch that his luck hadn’t run out. So he took all his money and placed it on Black at the roulette table, hoping to double his money. But the ball came up Red. He returned to his hotel room.
“How did you do?” asked the bride.
The groom shrugged and said, “I lost two dollars.”
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “That’s no moon.”
 
Answer: Star Wars! “That’s no moon.” is a line from “Star Wars” (1977), said when Han, Chewie, Luke and Obi-Wan are heading to Alderan and they find the Death Star. Obi-Wan says this after Luke says “Look at that size of that moon.” “Star Wars” is a Sci-Fi classic movie about rebels fighting the Galactic Empire. Also it is about one of the last Jedis passing on along his knowlegde to the son of a fallen Jedi. 
 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from???  “You’re the best Old Man. You should be free.” is said by Jim Craig in what movie?
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.
Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.
My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.
I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.
I love the time of Christmas,
But that’s not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason.
ANSWER: Ice Cream Man!
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Using real names to make common words/phrases, name the offspring: (the first one is free!)
1. Mr and Mrs Voyant – Clare (as in Clairvoyant)
2. Mr and Mrs Tress
3. Mr and Mrs Nasium
4. Mr and Mrs Tate
5. Mr and Mrs Anthemum
6. Mr and Mrs Mander
7. Mr and Mrs Mite
8. Mr and Mrs Time

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com, 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday September 23, 2013.  How Amazing Life is…

Last Sunday night (September 15, 2013), my first grand baby was born at Mercy Hospital in Saint Louis, Missouri otherwise know as the Lou! Her name is Eliya Danielle. Now Eliya is a Hebrew name that simply means “God is my Lord”. Now how amazing is that? It’s taken me a week to take this circle of life thing in and the whole concept of third generation Strayhorn’s into my head! And I know it’s great and many other people are already grandparents, but I’m not, nor have I been until now! I have decided to take the name of “Grand Pappy,’ versus grandfather which sounds so incredibly old! I keep hearing the theme song from the Loin King playing over and over in my head and I almost want to call my son and his wife every day in my best James Earl Jones voice and “Well done my son, you have made me proud”  It’s like Christmas in September and I just love this child! I’ve taken a million pictures and will probably blow them up to poster size to hang on my wall in my office!
Now there’s that age thing which goes along with the grandfather title, you know, you’ve reached the age where what the mind can conceive, the body can no longer achieve? Well I have not reached the walker or Hoveround stage and I figure that I’ve got plenty of life to live, after all, I’ve got at least 5 or 6 more grand kids hanging around just waiting for the right time in the next 20 years to join us. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
I want to put a ding in the universe.
Steve Jobs
Who is wise in love, love most, say least.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Sculpture is the art of the hole and the lump.
Auguste Rodin
The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world’s joy.
Henry Ward Beecher
Do you realize if it weren’t for Edison we’d be watching TV by candlelight?
Al Boliska
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Otto von Bismark, the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-90 had been conversing for a rather long time with the British Ambassador to Germany when the latter posed the question, “How do you handle insistent visitors who take up so much of your valuable time?”
Bismark answered, “Oh, I have an infallible method. My servant appears and informs me that my wife has something urgent to tell me.”
At that moment there was a knock at the door, and a servant entered with a message from his wife.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from???  “We’re going to give you a fair trial, followed by a first-class hangin'”
 
Answer: Silverado! This 80’s gem resurrected the classic Western in Hollywood. Four men team up to save the town of Silverado from the corrupt Sheriff and his deputies.
 
The corrupt Sherriff Cobb (Brian Dennehy) explains to Mal (Danny Glover) that he’s going to be killed as Mal is being beaten in town by the deputies. Cobb tries to coerce Mal by saying he’ll let him go…all he has to do is give up Emmitt’s (Scott Glenn) hide out. “Silverado” has a great ensemble cast, and also stars Kevin Kline, Kevin Costner, Linda Hunt, John Cleese, and Rosanna Arquette. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “That’s no moon.”
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
A man goes into a hardware store to purchase some knobs. To purchase one knob you must pay a minimum of 4 U.S. coins. Two knobs can be purchased with a minimum of 6 U.S. coins. 3 knobs require a minimum of 2 U.S. coins. How much does one knob cost?
U.S Coins include: a penny ($.01), a nickel ($.05), a dime ($.10), a quarter ($.25), a half-dollar ($.50), and a silver dollar ($1.00).
 
ANSWER: One knob costs $0.17
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
You will know that I am coming
From the jingle of my bell,
But exactly who I am is not an easy thing to tell.
Children, they adore me
for they find me jolly,
but I do not see them when the halls are decked with holly.
My job often leaves me frozen,
I am a man that all should know,
But I do not do business in times of sleet or ice or snow.
I travel much on business,
But no reindeer haul me around,
I do all my traveling firmly on the ground.
I love the time of Christmas,
But that’s not my vocational season,
And I assure that is because of a sound economic reason.

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,   

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

paindemotivator

WELCOME to Friday September 20, 2013.  Just laughs……..

A FOOLish man tells his wife to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED
==
One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY
==
Three FASTEST means of Communication
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell -a Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANYBODY
==
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER amongst all your Friends.
==
If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOMEthing in your life
If you have ‘ONE’ ; You are missing EVERY thing in your life
==
Q – What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A – One Woman Brings U into this world crying… & ….other ‘ONE’ ensures U Continue it..
==
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no
==
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.
==
Teacher : Correct this sentence “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Pappu : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
Teacher : How?
Student : Ladies first.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
 
QUOTES OF THE DAY   
“A Stanford study suggests that social media is making us smarter. They examined hundreds of essays written by college freshmen between 1917 and 2006. By 2006, the papers were longer, better researched, and more complex. That’s because kids in 2006 cut and pasted them from Wikipedia.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“NASA is sending chocolate to astronauts on the International Space Station. I guess it makes sense � I mean, it’s not like those guys have to watch their weight. “Nope, still zero pounds.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“There is a library that is stocked with thousands of e-books in San Antonio. But that’s not really a library. It’s called a Kindle.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
As the high school teacher was correcting essays written by her students she read, “Pedro jumped on his burrow and rode off into the sunset.”
She wrote at the bottom of the page, “You obviously have problems with homonyms. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A burro is an ass. At your age it’s time to learn the difference.”
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ How much movie trivia can you answer?
What movie is this quote from??? “I know the Presidents’ Chief Advisor, we were at MIT together. And, at this point in time, you really don’t want to take advice from a man who got a ‘C minus’ in astrophysics.”   
 
Answer: Armageddon! A “global-killer” asteroid the size of Texas is on a collision course with Earth. Their only hope is a bunch of oddballs that happen to be the best deep-core drillers in the world. I HATE it when that happens! Jason Isaacs as Dr. Ronald Quincy, explaining to Keith David’s Lt. General Kimsey that the only way to blow up the asteroid is to drill into it and get the explosives inside. General Kimsey quotes the President’s Chief Advisor, who claims that a nuclear explosion on the surface of the asteroid will solve the problem. Dr. Quincy puts him in his place.  It’s hard to believe that is Lucius Malfoy from the Harry Potter movies sitting at that table, isn’t it? 
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! ‘How much movie trivia can you answer? What movie is this quote from??? “We’re going to give you a fair trial, followed by a first-class hangin'”
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is this?
 
 
Filming Schedule for GODS the Movie:
 
Venus 14:00
Mars 17:00
Mercury – Forbidden to film 
ANSWER: Don’t shoot the messenger
Venus = Goddess of Love
Mars = God of War
Mercury = Messenger of the Gods
Shooting is a Movie term for Filming.
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
A man goes into a hardware store to purchase some knobs. To purchase one knob you must pay a minimum of 4 U.S. coins. Two knobs can be purchased with a minimum of 6 U.S. coins. 3 knobs require a minimum of 2 U.S. coins. How much does one knob cost?
U.S Coins include: a penny ($.01), a nickel ($.05), a dime ($.10), a quarter ($.25), a half-dollar ($.50), and a silver dollar ($1.00).
 
 

Look for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.   https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ LINKS2 CHECK OUT: http://www.slampi.org. http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.wcscatering.com. http://www.Eucman.freedom10.com,