Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

when-that-first-cup-of-coffee-touches-your-soul-6875814
WELCOME to Thursday, October 12, 2017.                 
Steven Wright………….. 
I wrote a few children’s books… Not on purpose.
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I installed a skylight in my apartment…. The people who live above me are furious!
All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store… With a pricing gun… She said, “Give me all of the money in the vault, or I’m marking down everything in the store.”
While I was gone, somebody rearranged all the furniture in my bedroom. They put it in *exactly* the same place it was. When I told my roommate, he said: “Do I know you?”
In my house there’s this light switch that doesn’t do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, “Cut it out.”
Doing a little work around the house. I put fake brick wallpaper over a real brick wall, just so I’d be the only one who knew. People come over and I’m gonna say, “Go ahead, touch it… It feels real.”
In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above… So I never have to go upstairs.
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning in my house.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“The federal government is starting to plan for climate change by making extended forecasts that can help people plan for extreme weather – because what can go wrong when you combine the efficiency of government with the accuracy of weathermen?” -Jimmy Fallon
“Scientists in northern California and Oregon found that marijuana gardens are threatening the salmon population. I don’t see the problem, really. Everyone loves baked salmon.” -Seth Meyers
“Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, ‘Yes! He is dead though. That’s why you didn’t get that bike.'” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A father and son went fishing one day. After a couple hours in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him.
He asked his father, “How does this boat float?”
The father thought for a moment, then replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
The boy returned to his contemplation, then turned back to his father, “How do fish breathe underwater?”
Once again the father replied, “Don’t rightly know, son.”
A little later the boy asked his father, “Why is the sky blue?”
Again, the father replied. “Don’t rightly know, son.”
Worried he was going to annoy his father, he says, “Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?”
“Of course not, son. If you don’t ask questions, you’ll never learn anything!”😐😱
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Happy New Year…in this country we say HAPPY New Year.’
ANSWER: Trading Places! This is said by Clarence Beeks, getting after Eddie Murphy’s character for saying ‘Merry New Year.’ 

 

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘Sanka, you dead?’
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is strange about the words in the group below, apart from the fact that they are all four letters long?
NEAR
LAME
ARMS
CAME
DEAL
GAIN
WINE
SCAR
HIND
ANSWER: The words are made up entirely of abbreviations for states in the United States of America.

NE AR
LA ME
AR MS
CA ME
DE AL
GA IN
WI NE
SC AR
HI ND
AL = Alabama
AR = Arkansas
CA = California
DE = Delaware
GA = Georgia
HI = Hawaii
IN = Indiana
LA = Louisiana
ME = Maine
MS = Mississippi
ND = North Dakota
NE = Nebraska
SC = South Carolina
WI = Wisconsin

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Each of the following clues refers to a word that begins with “ten”. Can you guess all ten of them?
1. Inclination
2. Delicate or gentle
3. A sinew
4. A racket game
5. Capable of being stretched
6. Between the bass and alto
7. Stretched tight
8. Unsubstantial
9. A dwelling
10. An opinion held to be true.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

Advertisements

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

232440-Its-Only-Wednesday
WELCOME to Wednesday, October 11, 2017.                
Rita Rudner’s Facts About Men………….
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks
he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband’s early films end with a scream and a flush.
Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of “rich” usually cancels out the nice of “bald”.
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
If it’s attention you want, don’t get involved with a man during play-off season.
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
Don’t try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow, instead of a gun.
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
All men hate to hear “We need to talk about our relationship.” These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become
happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and
then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential foodgroups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. – Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. – Rodney Dangerfield
Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. – Spike Milligan
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow’s ear. The farmer didn’t think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.😌
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘Yes, we play football…I believe you people call it soccer.’
ANSWER: Coming to America! The main character, Akeem, quotes this during a
basketball game when asked what sports they play in Africa. 

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Happy New Year…in this country we say HAPPY New Year.’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
ANSWER: 1) New Delhi (New Deli), India  2) Moscow (Moss Cow), Russia  3) Warsaw (War Saw), Poland  4) Kingston (King’s Ton), Jamaica

5) Beirut (Bay Root), Lebanon  6) Khartoum (Car Tomb), Sudan  7) Budapest (Buddha Pest), Hungary  8) Quito (Key Toe), Ecuador
9) Bern (Burn), Switzerland  10) Belgrade (Bell Grade), Serbia and Montenegro

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is strange about the words in the group below, apart from the fact that they are all four letters long?
NEAR
LAME
ARMS
CAME
DEAL
GAIN
WINE
SCAR
HIND
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

77995e66dd63af986270ad49b42f44f3
WELCOME to Tuesday, October 10, 2017.               
ACTUAL EXCERPTS FROM STUDENT SCIENCE EXAMS:
Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the organ of the species.
Benjamin Franklin produced electricity by rubbing cats backwards.
The theory of evolution was greatly objected to because it made man think.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillers.
The process of turning steam back into water again is called conversation.
The Earth makes one resolution every 24 hours.
To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold.
A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.
When you haven’t got enough iodine in your blood you get a glacier.
For fractures: to see if the limb is broken, wiggle it gently back and forth.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For asphyxiation: apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.
When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Google just released a pair of headphones that can translate 40 languages instantly.
They say it’s a great way to travel to a new country and find out everyone’s making fun of you.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, Nigeria owes New York City over $500,000 in unpaid parking tickets for its foreign diplomats. Nigeria apologized and said they’ll pay the fines right away if they we send them our bank account number, our PIN, and our mother’s maiden name.” -Seth Meyers
“A New York fitness expert has released an exercise book for nuns called, ‘Changing Habits: The Sister’s Workout.’ The Vatican rejected the original title, ‘Nuns of Steel.'” –Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Pat: Hey, Chris! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot fish.
Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘But I’ve got the solution… hot ice!’
ANSWER: Rookie of the Year! That pitching coach is a moron. 

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Yes, we play football…I believe you people call it soccer.’
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a female relative & to challenge in a mocking manner (4 letters)
2) the point where two edges meet & a person who investigates the causes of deaths (6 letters)
3) a person of low social or cultural status & a long-tailed game bird (7 letters)
4) nimble or agile & a jet of fine vapor, as from an atomizer (4 letters)
ANSWER: 1) aunt & taunt   2) corner & coroner   3) peasant & pheasant   4) spry & spray

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues give definitions for world capitals. These definitions describe what the capitals (just the city) sound like they would mean.
1) This capital is a recently opened store for cooked meats.
2) This capital is plant-covered bovine.
3) This capital is a tool used for fighting.
4) This capital is a royal weight.
5) This capital is a cheer for a body of water.
6) This capital is the legendary vehicle graveyard.
7) This capital is something that annoys a religious figure.
8) This capital is a basic digit.
9) This capital is something you get from the sun.
10) This capital is a score for a ringer.
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS!  🙇🙅🙇🙅🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

e05c1503c8f12f8289330d08da130297--i-seent-it-meme-scary-mommy-funny
WELCOME to Monday, October 9, 2017.             
 Why ask why…………….. 
Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?
If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty liter?
When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
“Experience is what you get when you didn’t get what you wanted.”
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
If you’re cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
Why do steam irons have a permanent press setting?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Germany has just rolled out a new law banning hate speech. The law is tricky to
implement because everything sounds like hate speech when it’s spoken in German.” -Conan O’Brien
“Scientists have invented a way for you to change channels on your TV with gestures.
Yeah, it’s great for people who like watching sports completely still. ‘Wow! What a catch – nobody move! Oh, now we’re watching Lifetime.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A new study has determined that people in relationships can detect infidelity in their
partner’s voice. Especially when their voice says, ‘You’re home early!'” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating,
the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, ‘Last week we went out to a new
restaurant and it was really great.. I would recommend it.’
The other man said, ‘What is the name of the restaurant?’
The first man thought and thought and finally said, ‘What is the name of that
flower you give to someone you love? You know…. The one that’s red and has thorns.’
‘Do you mean a rose?’
‘That’s the one,’ replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled,
‘Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?’😌
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘If you run, we’ll be there in an hour.’ ‘Run? I haven’t even stretched!’
ANSWER: Terminal Velocity! This movie actually isn’t about running at all.

 

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘But I’ve got the solution… hot ice!’
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
Below are two clues for words that are homophones of each other. For example,
“Number after one…Also” would result in “Two…Too”. Can you get all of the words?
1. Tiny Spider…Not sure if I will or not
2. Made the gun more accurate…Quoted
3. Container…Light
4. Head organ…Yes
ANSWER: 1. Mite…Might  2. Sighted…Cited   3. Pail…Pale   4. Eye…Aye
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a female relative & to challenge in a mocking manner (4 letters)
2) the point where two edges meet & a person who investigates the causes of deaths (6 letters)
3) a person of low social or cultural status & a long-tailed game bird (7 letters)
4) nimble or agile & a jet of fine vapor, as from an atomizer (4 letters)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

01b1f6375a3aef9d1b9bc17d6f2378c2
WELCOME to Friday, October 6, 2017.             
Mother’s dictionary….
Bottle feeding: An opportunity for Daddy to get up at 2 am too.
Defense: What you’d better have around de yard if you’re going to let the children play outside.
Drooling: How teething babies wash their chins.
Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
Family planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster
Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn’t appreciate the strained carrots.
Full name: What you call your child when you’re mad at him.
Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they’re sure you’re not raising them right.
Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
Impregnable: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
Independent: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
Look out: What it’s too late for your child to do by the time you scream it.
Prenatal: When your life was still somewhat your own.
Preprared childbirth: A contradiction in terms.
Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
Show off: A child who is more talented than yours.
Sterilize: What you do to your first baby’s pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby’s pacifier by blowing on it.
Storeroom: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can’t quite reach anything.
Temper tantrums: What you should keep to a minimum so as to not upset the children.
Top bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
Two-minute warning: When the baby’s face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
Verbal: Able to whine in words
Whodunit: None of the kids that live in your house.
Whoops: An exclamation that translates roughly into “get a sponge.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has always to be out of step with his time.” –Orson Welles
“If winning isn’t everything, why do they keep score?”
–Vince Lombardi
“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.”
–Mark Twain
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A guy from Czechslovakia was visiting his cousin the lawyer in California,
and they went for a hike in Yellowstone Park. While they were hiking they were attacked by 2 bears, one male and one female. The male bear dismembered and ate
the Czechslovakian guy, but the lawyer managed to escape. He ran straight to the nearest Rangers station, and told them what had happened, and they sent out a group of rangers to see what was going on. Sure enough, the Rangers arrived at the place that the lawyer mentioned, and there were the female and the male bears. So one of the Rangers took his rifle and shot the female. So the other Rangers asked “why did you shoot the female? he said that the male ate his friend”  So the Ranger answers “Would you believe a lawyer if he told you that the Czech is in the male?”😐
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Ray…when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!’
ANSWER: Ghostbusters! The antagonist in this movie asked Ray if he was a
god to ascertain whether or not he’d die if attacked. 

 

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

‘If you run, we’ll be there in an hour.’ ‘Run? I haven’t even stretched!’
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….  
Which country, from group A, belongs in group B?
GROUP A
Australia
Cyprus
France
Great Britain
Hong Kong
Japan
GROUP B
United States
China
Egypt
Kuwait
Norway
ANSWER: France.  The countries in group A all drive on the left hand side of the road,
France belongs in group B, as they drive on the right.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Below are two clues for words that are homophones of each other. For example,
“Number after one…Also” would result in “Two…Too”. Can you get all of the words?
1. Tiny Spider…Not sure if I will or not
2. Made the gun more accurate…Quoted
3. Container…Light
4. Head organ…Yes
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

funny-celebrity-memes-13
WELCOME to Thursday, October 5, 2017.            
More Miscellaneous terms…….really….
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“A new study says that a lack of sleep can actually make you happier.
When they heard that, new moms were like, ‘You wanna say that to my face?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Some historians now believe that Jesus Christ had a wife. They also believe
that Jesus’ nephew called Jesus’ wife the “Auntie Christ.'” -Conan O’Brien
“Fast-food chain Arby’s is serving a limited-edition Cookie Butter Milkshake.
And any customers who order it will also be limited-edition.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Working for a pediatrician calls for stifling a chuckle from time to time. When a frantic mother phoned to tell us her baby had a high temperature of 102, we had to know whether she was taking the reading under the arm, in the mouth or elsewhere.
So we asked, “How are you taking it?”
Her reply, “Oh, I’m holding up pretty well!”😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Boy, this bird is dry. Haven’t you people ever heard of basting?’
ANSWER: The Santa Clause! Bernard says this when he appears in the family’s house, eating their turkey. 

 

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

 ‘Ray…when someone asks you if you’re a god, you say YES!’
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….  
In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘M’, and then each time, add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word.
You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘MIRACLE’.
Not including ‘M’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.
M
_ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
M I R A C L E
ANSWER:

M
MA
ARM
MARE
AIMER
MAILER
MIRACLE
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Which country, from group A, belongs in group B?
GROUP A
Australia
Cyprus
France
Great Britain
Hong Kong
Japan
GROUP B
United States
China
Egypt
Kuwait
Norway
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

bcf1fd47d16b72343b27d0d409e469f6
WELCOME to Wednesday, October 4, 2017.            
True Internet addiction…
You Are Internet Addicted When:
You kiss your girlfriend’s/boyfriend’s home page.
Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
You find yourself brainstorming for new subjects to search.
You refuse to go to a vacation spot with no electricity and no phone lines.
You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a new cell phone and a laptop.
You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap… and your child in the overhead compartment.
And even your night dreams are in HTML.
You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.com.
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address in print or on TV, even though you’ve never had heart problems before.
Your pet has its own home page.
You realize there is not a sound in the house and you have no idea where your children are.
You check your mail. It says “no new messages.” So you check it again.
You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
You don’t know the gender of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
Your husband tells you he’s had the beard for 2 months.
You start looking for hot HTML addresses in public restrooms.
You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
Your spouse makes a new rule: “The laptop cannot come to bed.”
You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
You forget what year it is.
You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
You ask your doctor to implant a gig in your brain.
Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy her an iPhone so you can face-time her. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday people and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Microsoft founder Bill Gates gave a speech yesterday. And in that speech, he apologized for making the ctrl-alt-delete function on computers so complicated. But then he added, I mean, I’m as sorry as I can be about something that made me $85 billion.” -James Corden
“I read that Taco Bell will start serving alcohol at some locations. So the next time you think that YOU’RE having a bad day, imagine the guy who gets cut off by the cashier at Taco Bell.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Eighty years ago today, J. R. R. Tolkien’s book ‘The Hobbit’ was released. To give you an idea what 80 years feels like, watch the movie.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Nancy was Catholic, but her fiance, Chris, was not. Since my friends were planning to be married in the Catholic Church, Chris made sure to listen carefully throughout their prenuptial sessions. At one meeting the priest turned to Chris and told him, “Since you are not Catholic, we shall have the ceremony without Eucharist.”
Later that day, Chris was noticeably upset, so Nancy asked what was wrong. “I don’t understand,” he said. “How can we have the ceremony without me?”😐😱😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Today’s special, Vladikoff’s Vodka Surprise! We got Vladikoff’s vodka…SURPRISE!’
ANSWER: McHale’s Navy!

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??   

  ‘Boy, this bird is dry. Haven’t you people ever heard of basting?’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….  
Which letter comes next in the following sequence?
S, N, E, P, O, H, C, _
ANSWER: E.  Why? Each group of four consecutive letters, when read in reverse, form a word:

SNEP – pens
NEPO – open
EPOH – hope
POHC – chop
OHCE – echo
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, you are to start with the letter ‘M’, and then each time, add a letter and shuffle it to make a new word.
You need to continue this process until you reach the word ‘MIRACLE’.
Not including ‘M’, you must do this in six (6) turns.
Good luck.
M
_ _
_ _ _
_ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _
_ _ _ _ _ _
M I R A C L E
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/