Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday July 11, 2018.

Business……
Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average.
Enough research will tend to support your theory.
Entropy has us outnumbered.
Error is often more earnest than truth.
Even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
Even if the grass is greener on the other side: they, like you, still have to cut it.
Even paranoids have enemies.
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.
Every solution breeds new problems.
Everybody is somebody else’s weirdo😁😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful  Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.  George Bernard Shaw

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live. Bob Hope

A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers. Kevin Nealon

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore. Yogi Berra

A  stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every

year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.” Claude Pepper

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A

successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. Jerry Seinfeld
   

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. Penny  was a hard working, conscientious girl, who lived on her own. Her dream  in life was to go on an ocean cruise around the world. So she scrimped,  and she saved, and she saved, and she scrimped until finally, one day,  she had enough money to go on her ocean cruise.

She booked passage on a  cruise liner – first class all the way… The cruise started off in a
grandiose scale, dancing and parties every night. But Penny was a  cautious girl, so she
never drank, but just danced the night away.

One night, after they had been at sea for a week, Penny was walking back  to her cabin, when the heel on her left shoe broke throwing her off  balance. If that wasn’t enough, the ship chose that moment to tilt to  the left. As a result, Penny was thrown overboard. A hue and a cry were immediately raised, and after about five minutes they found Penny.  Hauling her aboard, the ship’s crew realized that it was too late, poor Penny was dead.

Normally, they would have done a burial at sea, but as I said before,  Penny was a very conscientious girl, and had written a will. In it, she  specified that she wished for her body to be cremated, and kept in a jar on her parent’s fireplace mantel. Her wishes were fulfilled, which just goes to show you that a Penny saved is a Penny urned.😱😱😱

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “I am the eater of worlds, and of children! I am invincible!” 

ANSWER: IT! Pennywise states this in the sewer, when the Loser’s Club were kids. But they prove that he isn’t so invincible in the end.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t worry about me. So, what’s in the bag?”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

Down below the shining moon, Around the trees, a sacred gloom, Running with the midnight sky, Knowing the thing that makes you cry, Night is full with my essence, Eternal light betrays my presence, Soaring through my endless task, Shadows are my faithful mask😁  

Answer:  Darkness (the first letter of every sentence spells out “DARKNESS”)

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

Write a table that contains a row of letters and a row of numbers where you can clearly tell that A=1, B=2, C=3 etc
until Z=26. Using it, decipher the clues to find a nine letter word which could describe someone evil.

– The 2nd and 7th letters are the same and divisible by 5.
– The 6th letter is an even number which is LESS than 13.
– The 5th is the 1st and 6th letter’s value added together.
– The 8th letter is a prime number between 15 and 25.
– The 3rd letter is a vowel, whose value is less than 10.
– The 1st letter has a value 10 less than the 4th.
– The last letter’s value is equal to double the 8th and then subtract 19.







LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

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Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday July 10, 2018.

Why Dogs Don’t Use Computers…. 
Can’t stick their heads out of Windows ’10.
Fetch command not available on all platforms.
Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
Too difficult to “mark” every website they visit.
Can’t help attacking the screen when they hear “You’ve Got Mail.”
Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they’re browsing http://www.pethouse.com
instead of working.
Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee.
Not at all fooled by the old Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
Still trying to come up with an “emoticon” that signifies tail-wagging.
Oh, but they WILL… with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
Cause dogs ain’t GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand…
Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master’s.leg.
Too Hard To Type With Paws.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… “Urban Outfitters and Anthropologie are rolling out a new payment program which allows online shoppers to pay in installments later rather than in full, called Afterpay. Not to be confused with the program they have at Taco Bell, where you always pay for it later.” -Seth Meyers

“A group of shareholders at Facebook might be plotting to get rid of Mark Zuckerberg. And their plan would be way more likely to work if Mark wasn’t spying on them using Facebook.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Researchers at the Center for Tobacco Control at Scotland University are working on an

invention: Talking packs of cigarettes that warn smokers about the side effects of tobacco. I don’t know; that actually might make me START smoking.” -Jimmy Kimmel

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….The  young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order. When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he  couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for  each year of her life. The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your  19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old  wife.” The young man bought a dozen roses. 😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Now you have to deal with ME, oh prince. And all the powers of hell!”

ANSWER:Sleeping Beauty! Maleficent says this to Prince Phillip right before she turns into a fire-breathing dragon.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “I am the eater of worlds, and of children! I am invincible!”

 

 

Monday’s Quizzer is……. In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.
Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. sky, point, hat, knee

2. street, fight, pedal, off

3. shoe, french, powder, rims

4. moulding, roast, triple, jewels  

Answer: 1. sky HIGH, HIGH point, HIGH hat, knee HIGH

2. BACK street, fight BACK, BACK pedal, BACK off

3. shoe HORN, french HORN, powder HORN, HORN rims

4. CROWN moulding, CROWN roast, triple CROWN, CROWN jewels

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

Down below the shining moon
Around the trees, a sacred gloom
Running with the midnight sky
Knowing the thing that makes you cry
Night is full with my essence
Eternal light betrays my presence
Soaring through my endless task
Shadows are my faithful mask😁







 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday July 9, 2018.

Music Styles…….
JAZZ: Five men on the same stage all playing different tunes.
BLUES: Played exclusively by people who woke up this morning.
WORLD MUSIC: Dozen different types of percussion all going at once.
OPERA: People singing when they should be talking.
RAP: People talking when they should be singing.
CLASSICAL: Discover the other 45 minutes they left out of the TV ad.
FOLK: Endless songs about shipwrecks in the 19th century.
BIG BAND: 20 men who take it in turns to stand up plus a drummer.
HEAVY METAL: Codpiece and chaps
HOUSE MUSIC OK as long as it’s not the house next door.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… In Jerusalem, renovation work is beginning on Jesus’s burial tomb. It’s being listed as’occupied by previous owner for only three days!'” -Conan O’Brien

“A man in Minneapolis, Minnesota, is suing the TSA claiming that overly long airport
security lines caused him to miss a flight. Seems like a strange move until you realize
there’s no jury in the world that will side with the TSA.” -James Corden
“Since the UK officially voted to leave the European Union it caused the British pound to
hit a 31-year low. You could tell Brits were struggling. Today Queen Elizabeth was wearing one of those cardboard crowns from Burger King.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. The new Supermarket near our house has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh.

Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh buttered corn.

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more. 😱😁😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???“With great power comes great responsibility.”

ANSWER: Spider-Man! This was Uncle Ben’s advice to Peter. Peter will always remember these words to live by.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Now you have to deal with ME, oh prince. And all the powers of hell!”

 

Friday’s Quizzer is……. In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group. Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. ankle, puppet, wind, away

2. draft, hall, belly, root

3. alphabet, bowl, spoon, kitchen

4. upright, wire, grand, tuner

Answer: 1. ankle SOCK, SOCK puppet, wind SOCK, SOCK away

2. draft BEER, BEER hall, BEER belly, root BEER

3. alphabet SOUP, SOUP bowl, SOUP spoon, SOUP kitchen

4. upright PIANO, PIANO wire, grand PIANO, PIANO tuner 

 

Monday’s Quizzer is…… In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.

Example: 1. picture, inner, top, test
Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. sky, point, hat, knee

2. street, fight, pedal, off

3. shoe, french, powder, rims

4. moulding, roast, triple, jewels






 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday July 6, 2018.

Biblical characters as high-tech promoters. Couldn’t biblical characters be recruited as high-tech promoters? Consider the following tech advocates and their ad slogans:
10. Noah for Match.com: We can find a mate for anything. Why not you?
9. Moses for the Excedrin Headache Resource Center (Excedrin.com): Take two tablets and call me in the morning.
8. The dove for UPS.com: Guaranteed delivery in 40 days and 40 nights.
7. Adam and Eve for Dell: No Apples for us. We’ve learned the hard way.
6. Solomon for Microsoft: Don’t cut the baby in half.
5. Joseph for Nikon Coolpix: Only Nikon can capture the 36-bit color of my megapixel dreamcoat.
4. Methuselah for AARP.org: Life begins at 960.
3. John the Baptist for DunkinDonuts.com: You’ll be head over heels for our new Munchkin platter.
2. Pharaoh for Symantec: If only we’d had Norton AntiPlague 2002 in 2002…B.C.E.
1. Job for Nasdaq: ‘Nuff said.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status. – Laurence J. Peter

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic. 
– Dan Rather

It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks. 
– Pierre Auguste Renoir  😐

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class. Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?” A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach? 😱😁😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Love of my life! Let down your lustrous locks!” 

ANSWER: The 10th Kingdom!  When Virginia is stuck in the Huntsman’s tree, after her hair has grown, Wolf’s only way up to rescue her is Rapunzel-style.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “With great power comes great responsibility.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is……. Use synonyms of the following phrases to decode popular movie titles.

1.) Arachnid Boy

2.) Melody and Words

3.) Parade of the Flightless Birds

4.) Has to Like Canines

5.) Male of the 12 Months

6.) Swashbucklers of the Tropical Sea

Answer:  1.) Spider Man

2.) Music and Lyrics

3.) March of the Penguins

4.) Must Love Dogs

5.) Man of the Year

6.) Pirates of the Caribbean

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…… In each group below, I have listed four (4) unrelated words. Your job is to try and find a word that can either precede or follow each word in each group.

Example:

1. picture, inner, top, test

Answer: picture TUBE, inner TUBE, TUBE top, test TUBE.

1. ankle, puppet, wind, away

2. draft, hall, belly, root

3. alphabet, bowl, spoon, kitchen

4. upright, wire, grand, tuner







 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

WELCOME to Thursday July 5, 2018.

Message from Her Majesty The Queen

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II: English Jokes

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern

yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded.

A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

1. Look up aluminium, and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.

2. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour’, ‘favour’, ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise’. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

3. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 pm with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen! That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy announced after 30 years on the bench, he’s retiring. He’s 81 years old, so he’s going to go from sitting around in a robe all day to sitting around in a robe all day.” -Jimmy Fallon

“I think all these storms are God’s way of sending us a message. I think that message is that when warm humid air masses surge northward from the Gulf of Mexico and combine with a strong jet stream, it can result in severe weather conditions.” -Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new study, American fathers are spending more than twice the amount of time with their children than they used to. Experts say it’s due to a sweeping new trend called ‘unemployment.'” -Conan O’Brien

During lunch, an ad for a lending institution came on the television set in our employees’ lounge. As the commercial extolled the pleasures of extra money, I remarked that there was no such thing as “extra” money. “Yes, there is,” my supervisor retorted. “It’s what you have right before your car breaks down.”

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. Nicholas took his four-year-old son, Bryan, to several baseball games where “The Star-Spangled Banner”was sung before the start of each game. Later, Nicholas and Bryan attended St Bartholomew’s church on the Sunday before Independence Day.  The congregation sang The Star-Spangled Banner, and after everyone sat down, Bryan suddenly yelled out at the top of his voice, ‘Play ball.’😱😁


Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “Who am I Charles? I am the man who loves your sister.” 

ANSWER: Kate and Leopold!  After Leopold has been in the future for a while, Charlie still doesn’t believe he is who Leopold says he is,  and asks him. This is Leopold’s response.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Love of my life! Let down your lustrous locks!”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……. Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning.
Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.

** EXAMPLE **
short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot

** CLUES **
1. pass & company merger [8]

2. escape & the start of a war [8]

3. delay & maintain [6]

4. shelf set & detective’s diary [8]

** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.

Answer:  1. overtake & takeover
2. breakout & outbreak
3. holdup & uphold
4. casebook & bookcase

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

Use synonyms of the following phrases to decode popular movie titles.

1.) Arachnid Boy

2.) Melody and Words

3.) Parade of the Flightless Birds

4.) Has to Like Canines

5.) Male of the 12 Months

6.) Swashbucklers of the Tropical Sea






 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday July 3, 2018.

More Laws………

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. (Or when you’re having a really bad hair day…)

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy’s Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. (In my case, this is known as “The Parking Lot Law” – I park our new car as far away from the building entrance and other cars as I can. There are 35 vacant parking spaces between me and the nearest vehicle. When I return to my car, I can’t even open the driver’s door because of the banged-up old pickup parked snugly next to me – and there are still 33 unoccupied parking spots all around us.)

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.

Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great July 4th people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.” – Albert Schweitzer

“Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything.” – Blaise Pascal

“Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor.” – Robert Frost

“To promote the use of clean energy, a Swiss adventurist is going to fly around the world in a solar-powered airplane. He’s just praying that nothing bad will happen…like night.” -Jimmy Fallon

“When I’m driving here I see a sign that says, CAUTION: SMALL CHILDREN PLAYING. I slow down, and then it occurs to me, I’m not afraid of small children.” –Jonathan Katz

“Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.” –Tim Allen😱😁

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had a very important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven, he said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to church every Sunday and quit drinking!” Just then, a parking place appeared – the closest one imaginable. The man looked up again and said, “Never mind, I just found one.” 😐

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???   “Don’t mind me asking, but do you have six fingers on your right hand?” “Do you always start conversations this way?”

ANSWER: The Princess Bride! When Inigo first meets Westley, he asks him this because he is looking for the six-fingered man who slaughtered his father, so he can take out his revenge.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Who am I Charles? I am the man who loves your sister.”

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is……. Diagramless is a special form of crossword puzzle. It is the same, just you have no idea where the black squares are, you have to use the answers to the clues and the numbers of them to figure that out.  Can you figure this diagramless out? It is just a small, 4×4 grid, and there are two black squares.

Across Clues:
1. Water Sport
5. Best Grade
6. __ top of; above
7. Place of relaxation
9. Water Level

Down Clues:
1. Opposite of future
2. Oxygen
3. Fill by putting on
4. Opposite of off
8. 3.14
10. Vowel between C and H

(the hint tells you where the two black squares are located)

Answer: Here are the answers to the rows.
Row 1 – POLO, Row 2 – A-ON, Row 3 – SPA-, Row 4 – TIDE

Here are the answers to the columns:
Column 1 – PAST, Column 2 – O-PI, Column 3 – LOAD, Column 4 – ON-E

 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…… Compound words are pairings of existing words; e.g. brainstorm. Each word affects the overall meaning. Some word pairs can be compounded in two ways. Use the given clues to find these “compound couples”.

** EXAMPLE **
short range firearm & the blast from a firearm [7]
= shotgun & gunshot

** CLUES **
1. pass & company merger [8]

2. escape & the start of a war [8]

3. delay & maintain [6]

4. shelf set & detective’s diary [8]

** HINT **
You will find sentences in which the Compound Couples can be placed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday July 2, 2018.

Laws of Life…..

* Murphy’s First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.

* Kauffman’s Paradox of the Corporation: The less important you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed.

* The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to increase  your taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay.

* Miller’s Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything except what happens.

* First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you always wanted to be doing, you’ll want to be doing something else.

* Weiner’s Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only cross-references.

* The Grocery Bag Law: The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag.

* Lampner’s Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“A Minor League Baseball team in Pennsylvania is selling a hot dog wrapped in cotton candy topped with Nerds candies. And instead of condiments, every one of those comes with a cry for help.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Authorities are warning people to avoid swimming in some New Jersey rivers because of increased numbers of so-called clinging jellyfish. Though if you’re swimming in New Jersey rivers, you’re probably not big on warnings.” -Seth Meyers

“The temperature hit 112 in Beverly Hills yesterday. That’s dangerous. Experts say the best thing you can do in heat like this is take a screen shot of the weather app and post it to Facebook. That way if you die, you go out with some likes.” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, “How many of you love your husband?” All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t remember. The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to read aloud the text message they received, in response.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who the hell is this?
2. Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?
3. Yeah, and I love you too. What’s up with you?
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don’t understand what you mean?
6. What the hell did you do now?
7. You’re kidding, right?
8. Don’t beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day. (my favorite)
12. Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she?

 

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  ‘I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends.’

ANSWER: Stand By Me!  Gordie says this to Chris because he doesn’t want him to tell anybody that he shot the trash can.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t mind me asking, but do you have six fingers on your right hand?” “Do you always start conversations this way?”

 

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

I represent love.
I’m the daughter of Heaven and Sea.
You may find me in the sky above,
And many envy my beauty.

My love belongs to fire,
But if I said I was true to him
I would be a liar,
But I have no shame for my whims.

My son taught many to love.
To me the only earthly items of worth
Are myrtle, sparrow, swan, and dove.
And no one remembers my birth.

Answer: The goddess Venus.

Line 1: She represents love, fertility, and beauty.
2: She is known as the daughter of Heaven and Sea.
3: Venus is also a Planet.
4: Same as line 1.
6-8: She was married to Vulcan the God of fire, but had affairs with many others.
9: Her son was Cupid.
10-11: Those were known to be sacred to her.
12: There are 2 theories of her birth. 

 

 

 

Monday’s Quizzer is……Diagramless is a special form of crossword puzzle. It is the same, just you have no idea where the black squares are, you have to use the answers to the clues and the numbers of them to figure that out.

Can you figure this diagramless out?
It is just a small, 4×4 grid, and there are two black squares.
Across Clues:
1. Water Sport
5. Best Grade
6. __ top of; above
7. Place of relaxation
9. Water Level

Down Clues:
1. Opposite of future
2. Oxygen
3. Fill by putting on
4. Opposite of off
8. 3.14
10. Vowel between C and H
(the hint tells you where the two black squares are located)

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org