About eucman

In an insane world the sane man must appear to be insane.

Wednesday, January 17, 2018

humor-funny-definitions-wrinkles-people-search-carefully-get-upset-when-find-them
WELCOME to Wednesday, January 17, 2018. 
New Old Computing Sayings
The Internet has changed everything, even these tried and true traditional sayings:
Wherever I lay my @, that’s my home.
The email of the species is deadlier than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Speak softly and carry a cell phone.
Don’t put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise, pen and paper foolish.
The modem is the message.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
A chat has nine lives.
Don’t byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.
What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).
The words of the Prophets are written on the Facebook wall.
Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
There’s no place like home dot com.
Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice.
Speed thrills.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“The CEO of Domino’s Pizza announced that he is stepping down this summer. He’ll
carefully pack up his office, then get home and find that all his stuff is
stuck to the top of the box.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, America’s teenagers are 30th in the world in math.
Luckily, America’s teenagers will never understand the report because
they’re 85th in reading.” -Conan O’Brien
“Big news from the Oxford English Dictionary. For all of you kids who don’t know
what a dictionary is, it’s a small portion of the Internet, printed out, kept on a shelf,
and opened once every three years during a Scrabble game.” -Jimmy Kimmel
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their
backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to
a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.
I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to
find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface.
I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.
“You see where they’re smoothing that cement?” he replied.
“I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.” 😐😁😎
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’
ANSWER: Network! Louise Schumacher (Beatrice Straight) goes off on her husband (William Holden) when he tells her about the affair he’s having with a network exec (Faye Dunaway).
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘You know that place between sleep and awake, the place where you can still remember dreaming? That’s where I’ll always love you, Peter Pan. That’s where I’ll be waiting.’
————————————————————————————————————————————-
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues refer to the names of several young women, in the form of Miss Suchandsuch. These names then actually form a new word (although there will be a spelling difference with one s missing) For example, “This young woman obeys all the rules” would be misbehave (Miss Behave)
Can you figure out the rest of the words?
1. This young woman is in great shape.
2. This young woman is very generous at Christmas.
3. This young woman showed me where to go.
4. You could tell this young woman all your secrets.
5. This young woman knew exactly what I meant.
6. This young woman is exactly the right choice.
7. This young woman could lead the orchestra.
ANSWER: 1. Misfit  2. Misgiving  3. Misguided  4. Mistrust  5. Misunderstood  6. Misappropriate  7. Misconduct
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
A man’s life was at an all time low. He lost his job, his wife, his house; and now his mom just died in a car accident.
After the funeral, a man approached him and told him that his mom had taken a mortgage on the house and
left him nothing except one thing. It was a note that read:
Dear my only son,
Thhaenrge! Tmhoe Bnaecykiyarsd
After he read the note, he finally got a smile on his face. What did his mom tell him in the note?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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Tuesday, January 16, 2018

humor-funny-definitions-zoo-place-allotted-animals-study-human-behavior

WELCOME to Tuesday, January 16, 2018.                                         

Steven Wright Jokes….

Why isn’t phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
I have a map of the world at home.  Full size, I spent last summer folding it.
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are cigarettes sold in petrol stations when smoking is prohibited there?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
How did a fool and his money get together?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
What’s another word for thesaurus?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen…and replaced by exact duplicates.
Borrow money from pessimists – they don’t expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
My mechanic told me, ‘I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for his ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn’t everyone just move 10 miles away?
And whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘Lisp’ to have a ‘S’ in it?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
———————————————————————————————————————————-
DAILY QUOTES…
“I saw that Princess Charlotte went to her first day of nursery school yesterday. It was a little intimidating for the other kids – like for ‘Show and Tell’ she brought Scotland.” -Jimmy Fallon
“An Arizona bank robber was recently arrested after he applied for a job with his local police department. They busted him after they asked, ‘Where do you see yourself in five years?’ and he said, ‘In jail for robbing a bank.'” -Seth Meyers
“There are a lot of things to dislike about L.A.: traffic, pollution, people. But it’s important sometimes to stop and appreciate the fact that, A) We don’t have to scrape ice off our windshield every morning, and B) I can wear the same pair of teal-colored dolphin shorts to work every day since 1985.” -Jimmy Kimmel

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Bad weather meant I was stuck overnight at O’Hare airport in Chicago. Along with hotel accommodations, the airline issued each passenger a $10 meal ticket, or “chit.”
That evening after dinner I presented my meal ticket to the cashier.
“Is this chit worth $10?” I asked.
Looking up nervously, the cashier responded, “I’m sorry, sir. Was the meal that bad?”😁😎 (Chit happens)

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to
lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Your father’s gone, you’re gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I’m lonely. I’m old.’
ANSWER: Requiem for a Dream! Sara (Ellen Burstyn) tells her son Harry (Jared Leto) the tragic truth of the benefits of her drug addiction. Burstyn’s performance in this film was devastatingly powerful.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
 ‘Get out, go anywhere you want, go to a hotel, go live with her, and don’t come back! Because, after 25 years of building a home and raising a family and all the senseless pain that we have inflicted on each other, I’m damned if I’m going to stand here and have you tell me you’re in love with somebody else!’
————————————————————————————————————————————
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Sunday had finally come for Detective Kelvin Wallace. It was the day of the auction. He was an avid collector of antique items. He was looking for something from the collection of a king, especially Louis XIV, as he did not have any of his items.
Finally, the collection of King Louis XIV came up for auction. The first item was a bathing towel which was supposedly used every day by King Louis XIV. Everyone was eager to get his hands on the old torn piece of cloth, but Detective
Wallace knew that it was a fake piece and decided to leave the auction hall immediately.
How did he know that the towel was fake?
ANSWER: Detective Wallace knew it was a fake because there was no possibility of the king using the cloth every day. King Louis XIV only took three baths in his life of 77 years, and he desired none of them.

The three times were:
1.When he was baptized.
2.When a mistress insisted.
3.When a doctor lanced a boil on his derriere and ordered him to soak in a tub filled with water.
  

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
The following clues refer to the names of several young women, in the form of Miss Suchandsuch. These names then actually form a new word (although there will be a spelling difference with one s missing) For example, “This young woman obeys all the rules” would be misbehave (Miss Behave)
Can you figure out the rest of the words?
1. This young woman is in great shape.
2. This young woman is very generous at Christmas.
3. This young woman showed me where to go.
4. You could tell this young woman all your secrets.
5. This young woman knew exactly what I meant.
6. This young woman is exactly the right choice.
7. This young woman could lead the orchestra.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

Friday, January 12, 2018

emilydickinson1

WELCOME to Friday, January 12, 2018.                                    

Why Did the Computer Chicken Cross the Road? 

Assembler Chicken: First, it builds the road ……
C Chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn’t have to cross the road, you’ d simply refer to him on the other side.
COBOL Chicken: 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
   IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
        THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
        VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
        ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
    ELSE
    GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don’t dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side frazzled.
Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.Will and Guy’s Computer Humour
Gopher Chicken: Tried to run but got beaten by the Web chicken.
Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.
Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have ‘ backed up’ before crossing.
Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, then the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)
Linux Chicken: Don’t you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!
Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there’s no way to tell it how to cross the road.
Newton Chicken: Can’t cluck, can’t fly, and can’t lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
OOP Chicken: It doesn’t need to cross the road, it just sends a message.
OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.
Microsoft’s Chicken: It’s already on both sides of the road. What’s more its just bought the road.
Windows 95 Chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it crosses, but when you cook it still tastes like…….. chicken.
Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabilistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.
VB Chicken: USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
———————————————————————————————————————————–
DAILY QUOTES…
Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible”! —Audrey Hepburn
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did,
but people will never forget how you made them feel. —Maya Angelou
Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right. —Henry Ford
Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence. —Vince Lombardi
Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. —Charles Swindoll
If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what
you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough. —Oprah Winfrey
Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. —Eleanor Roosevelt
I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination. —Jimmy Dean
Believe you can and you’re halfway there. —Theodore Roosevelt
To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. —Eleanor Roosevelt
Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. —Les Brown
Do or do not. There is no try. —Yoda
Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. —Napoleon Hill
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover. —Mark Twain

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Customer: How do I change channel on my monitor?
Advisor: Your monitor won’t have channels like a TV.
Customer: But I was watching the internet channel the other day and now I just get the word processing channel.😐
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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It’s like seeing a shooting star.’
ANSWER: Beautiful Girls! Timothy Hutton explains his take on relationships. This film was directed by the late Ted Demme (also did ‘Blow’).
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
‘I’m somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they’ll all like me. I’ll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to
lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I’m alone. Your father’s gone, you’re gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I’m lonely. I’m old.’
——————————————————————————————————————————————
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
I am like a gigantic dragon winding through deserts, grasslands and plateaus,
and am well over 2,500 years old.
I am high, strong and massive and have a greyish-blue colour,
but parts of my body are now in ruins and have disappeared,
although sections of me that still remain have great historical significance.
I began as a baby dragon some 700 years before the Christ appeared on this earth,
and as the years endured I grew to be an adult,
all the while continuing to strengthen my keepers.
Whilst I am considered to be the longest graveyard in the world,
no one is ever buried within me anymore.
What am I?
ANSWER: The Great Wall of China. With a history of more than 2,500 years, some of the sections of the Great Wall are now in ruins or even entirely disappeared. However, it is still one of the most appealing attractions all around the world owing to its architectural grandeur and historical stature.

The construction of the Great Wall began between the 7th and 8th centuries B.C. when the warring states built defensive walls to ward off enemies from the north. It was only a regional project then, until the Qin Dynasty, when the separate walls were joined together and consequently it stretched from east to west for about 5000 kilometres
and served to keep nomadic tribes out. The Wall was further extended and strengthened in the succeeding dynasties, especially during the Ming dynasty, when the northern nomadic ethnic groups became very powerful. The Ming rulers had the Wall renovated 18 times. As a result, not the remains from the Qin dynasty were restored, but some 1000
kilometers were constructed to a full length of 6,700 kilometers.
It is said during the construction of the wall, one worker is buried every metre within the rocks of the wall.
The Mandarin word for ‘The Great Wall of China’ is Wanli Changcheng.

 

  

 

Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
Sunday had finally come for Detective Kelvin Wallace. It was the day of the auction. He was an avid collector of antique items. He was looking for something from the collection of a king, especially Louis XIV, as he did not have any of his items.
Finally, the collection of King Louis XIV came up for auction. The first item was a bathing towel which was supposedly used every day by King Louis XIV. Everyone was eager to get his hands on the old torn piece of cloth, but Detective Wallace knew that it was a fake piece and decided to leave the auction hall immediately.
How did he know that the towel was fake?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday, January 11, 2018

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WELCOME to Thursday, January 11, 2018.                                    

Physics 101 
Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: 1 Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it’s less filling: 1 lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 decacards
1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
10 rations: 1 decoration
8 nickels: 2 paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
DAILY QUOTES…
“The stars gathered in Los Angeles for the Golden Globes. Oprah Winfrey delivered
a speech so powerful that all day long people have been asking if Oprah will run for
president–which at this point, wouldn’t president be a demotion for Oprah?” -Jimmy Kimmil
“A new study shows that monkeys can look at photos and recognize other monkeys
they know. However, the study also shows that monkeys are terrible with names.” -Conan O’Brien
“A man in London just took Uber’s one-billionth ride, and to celebrate, Uber gave him a
year’s worth of free rides. The man says he’s excited to spend the entire year drunk.” -Jimmy Fallon
———————————————————————————————————————————————–
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter “R” and all the other
kids were, of course, teasing him about it.
To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: “Robert gave Richard a
rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.” In class a few days later, the teacher asked
the boy to recite the sentence out loud.
The boy nervously eyed his classmates – many of them already laughing at him – then replied,
“Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn’t cooked enough.” 😐
——————————————————————————————————————————————
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts…’
ANSWER: Almost Famous! Sapphire (Fairuza Balk) explains the difference between band-aids and casual fans. This movie, written and directed by Cameron Crowe, was also loosely based on his own life.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
 ‘You know how it is, the beginnings? When you first fall in love and you can’t eat, you can’t sleep and getting a call from her, it makes your day. It’s like seeing a shooting star.’
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Whenever a phrase or sentence becomes part of the common language, there is a strong possibility that it will be quoted inaccurately.
Over the course of time, a letter gets shifted or a word is changed and forevermore the quotation becomes a cliche that nobody ever gets quite right.
Try to complete each proverbial cliche:
1.) “To ______ the lily.” – William Shakespeare
2.) “Under ______ spreading chestnut tree / The village smithy stands.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
3.) “That’s one small step for ______ , one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong
ANSWER:  1.) paint  2.) a   3.) a man * NASA finds credit in the theory of new findings of the missing “a”. Neil Armstrong’s prepared statement which had the “a”, was unheard in the actual statement. This has been an issue of debate since Neil Armstrong’s first step on the moon.
Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 
I am like a gigantic dragon winding through deserts, grasslands and plateaus,
and am well over 2,500 years old.
I am high, strong and massive and have a greyish-blue colour,
but parts of my body are now in ruins and have disappeared,
although sections of me that still remain have great historical significance.
I began as a baby dragon some 700 years before the Christ appeared on this earth,
and as the years endured I grew to be an adult,
all the while continuing to strengthen my keepers.
Whilst I am considered to be the longest graveyard in the world,
no one is ever buried within me anymore.
What am I?

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LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

blague2
WELCOME to Wednesday, January 10, 2018.                                    
Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie….  
1. We know where you live.
2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes.
3. Everyone’s meal today is on you!
4. The “special sauce” came from the floor!
5. Guess what our special “drop” was in our Egg Drop Soup and win a free meal!
6. Your colon will self destruct in five seconds.
7. A recent prison escapee that is sitting near by wants to love you long time.
8. Your dog Sparky…he’s no longer missing.
9. See the waiter about our new food poison life insurance policies.
10. MSG? NO!! Swine Flu….maybe
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no sentiment.”
–Norman Mailer
“Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There’s just too much fraternizing with the enemy.”
–Henry Kissinger
“I’m thirty years old, but I read at the thirty-four-year-old level.”
–Dana Carvey

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
It’s the day before Thanksgiving, and the butcher is just locking up when a man
begins pounding on the front door.
“Please let me in,” says the man desperately. “I forgot to buy a turkey, and my wife
will kill me if I don’t come home with one.”
“Okay,” says the butcher. “Let me see what I have left.” He goes into the freezer
and discovers that there’s only one scrawny turkey left. He brings it out to show the man.
“That’s one is too skinny. What else you got?” says the man.
The butcher takes the bird back into the freezer and waits a few minutes and brings
the same turkey back out to the man.
“Oh, no,” says the man, “That one doesn’t look any better. You better give me both of them!”😐

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘Dance is more than the steps. Feel the music and dance for sheer joy.’
ANSWER: Shall We Dance! This Japanese film about ballroom dancing was really fantastic. It won many awards, including the Seattle International Film Festival’s New Director Prize, the Golden Satellite Award, the London Critics Circle Film Award, and the Award of the Japanese Academy.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
‘They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Y’know? To truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band, so much that it hurts…’
—————————————————————————————————————————————–
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
These well known sayings were translated by computer to another language then back into English. What were the original sayings?
1. It hits while the iron is warm.
2. Initially come, initially been useful.
3. As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
4. More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
5. Is human to mad.
ANSWER: 1. Strike while the iron is hot.  2. First come, first served.  3. The proof of the pudding is in the eating.  4. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

5. To err is human.

 

  

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
Whenever a phrase or sentence becomes part of the common language, there is a strong possibility that it will be quoted inaccurately.
Over the course of time, a letter gets shifted or a word is changed and forevermore the quotation becomes a cliche that nobody ever gets quite right.
Try to complete each proverbial cliche:
1.) “To ______ the lily.” – William Shakespeare
2.) “Under ______ spreading chestnut tree / The village smithy stands.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
3.) “That’s one small step for ______ , one giant leap for mankind.” – Neil Armstrong
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Tuesday, January 8, 2018

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WELCOME to Tuesday, January 9, 2018.                                    
MORE REALLY BAD PUNS….
The public safety officer came up to a large mob of people outside a department store and asked, “What’s happening?” A mall officer replied, “These people are waiting to get the new Barbie doll.” The public safety officer shook his head and muttered, “Who can resist a Barbie queue?”
Ray’s friends claim he’s a baseball nut. He says they’re way off base.
Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where all the fruit is?
My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins.
Did you hear about the 2 silk worms in a race? It ended in a tie!
Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha.😁
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire.
I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta.
Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.
Why is peter pan always flying? He neverlands.
Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers? He’d stop at nothing to avoid them.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Thanks to Congress, meat producers no longer have to tell consumers where
their meat comes from. Upon hearing this, Arby’s said,
‘Waaay ahead of you, man.'” -Conan O’Brien
“China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah,
a Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom. Or as we call that here in America, Starbucks.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“There’s a new study that says giving your child too much praise can harm them later.
If you’re too hard on your kids, they grow up with no self-confidence, but if you praise
them too much, they grow up to be narcissists. What do these
little monsters want from us?” -Jimmy Kimmel
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we
would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; “Do you think there is too much sex in movies?”
“I don’t know,” replied my mother. “I’m usually too wrapped up in the film to notice
what the rest of the audience is doing.” 😐

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Love. Where does it come from? Who lit this flame in us? No war can put it out, conquer it.  I was a prisoner. You set me free.’
ANSWER: The Thin Red Line! Pvt. Jack Bell (Ben Chaplin) says this in narration to the woman he left behind when he came to fight the war. This was an extremely powerful movie, much better than ‘Saving Private Ryan’, in my opinion.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
‘Dance is more than the steps. Feel the music and dance for sheer joy.’
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Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What phrase is represented below?
Measles Medical Research
Teardrop Tablets = Measles 30% cured
Boredom Shot = Measles 50% cured
Ha-Ha Syrup = Measles 100% cured
ANSWER: Laughter is the best medicine
  

 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
These well known sayings were translated by computer to another language then back into English. What were the original sayings?
1. It hits while the iron is warm.
2. Initially come, initially been useful.
3. As for evidence of the pudding there are times when you eat.
4. More than one road it removed the skin from the tomcat.
5. Is human to mad.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday, January 8, 2018

AAr38XMWELCOME to Monday, January 8, 2018.                                    
More Funny book titles……really…..
Droopy Drawers
by Lucy Lastic
Taming Wild Cats 
by Claude Face
The Garlic Eater 
by I Malone
Modern Haircuts
by Sean Head
Shipwrecked ! 
by Mandy Lifeboats
Easy Suppers
by Egon Chips
Old English Churches 
by Beverley Minster
Igloo Building
by S. Keemo
Smashing Glass
by Eva Stone
Parachute Jumping 
by Hugo Furst
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Monday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“A company is working on a new selfie stick shaped like a human arm so users won’t
look like they’re alone in pictures. Instead you’ll just look like a completely normal
person who’s carrying around a severed human arm.” -Seth Meyers
“A new report says that dogs can sniff out prostate cancer with almost 98 percent accuracy.  The report also finds that cats can sniff it out with 100 percent accuracy but
they prefer to watch you die.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new survey found that a growing number of millennials want to work from home and get more time off. They would have said more, but they had to pick up their gold star for participating in that survey.” -Jimmy Fallon
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
After a long day of shopping, my daughter and I stopped at a grocery store. I ran in to
pick up a few things, leaving her in the car. As I approached the checkout I was surprised to see my daughter there waiting for me.
“Honey,” I said, “what are you doing in here? I left the motor running.”
“It’s all right, Mom,” she replied reassuringly. “I locked the doors.”😐
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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Love gives you wings. It makes you fly. I don’t even call it love. I call it Geronimo. When you’re in love, you’ll jump right from the top of the Empire State and you won’t care, screaming “Geronimo” the whole way down. I love her so bad, I just… whoa, she wrecks me. I’d die for her.’
ANSWER: Conspiracy Theory! Jerry (Mel Gibson) talks about his feelings for Alice (Julia Roberts). ‘Conspiracy Theory’ was directed by Richard Donner (‘The Goonies’, ‘Superman’, the ‘Lethal Weapon’ movies).
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  
‘Love. Where does it come from? Who lit this flame in us? No war can put it out, conquer it. I was a prisoner. You set me free.’
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Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What one three-letter word can be inserted in all three blanks below to make two words in each row?
LIS___TACLE
HAS___DON
OF___DER
ANSWER: TEN: LISTEN TENTACLE  HASTEN TENDON   OFTEN TENDER
 
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
What phrase is represented below?
Measles Medical Research
Teardrop Tablets = Measles 30% cured
Boredom Shot = Measles 50% cured
Ha-Ha Syrup = Measles 100% cured
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/