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In an insane world the sane man must appear to be insane.

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday July 20, 2018.

Bumper Stickers…….

All generalizations are false, including this one.

“Criminal Lawyer” is a redundancy.

I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got!

We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.

Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

What is a “free” gift ? Aren’t all gifts free?

Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.”
– Quentin Crisp

“Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what’s going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?” – Will Rogers

“Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.”
– Frank Lloyd Wright
 

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

At  the beginning of my junior year of high school in Arkansas, our  homeroom teacher had us fill out a form stating our future goals. Out of curiosity, I leaned over to see what my friend put down for her  aspirations. Where it read “Vocational Plans” she had written, “Florida.”😐

 

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  

“…Chief, you’re about as big as a […] mountain!” This is a famous movie quote which not only illustrates the movie but the book it came from, and yet highlights the difference between the book and movie. From which multi-award winning movie from the 70s did this defining line come?

ANSWER:  “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” (1975) is a movie based on the 1962 novel of the same name by Ken Kesey. Both book and movie were critically acclaimed with the movie one of only three movies in the twentieth century to have won the Academy Award Big Five (Best Actor, Best Actress, Best Director, Best Movie and Best Screenplay). Whilst the themes remain similar between book and movie, there are some important differences. In the book Chief Bromden is the narrator who watches the antics of Randle McMurphey’s battles against the orderliness and authority of Nurse Ratched, whereas in the movie, Chief Bromden is a secondary (but still important character), who is presumed to be mute and deaf. So when the Chief speaks two-thirds into the movie (“Hmmm, Juicy Fruit”) we the audience are taken by surprise.

In 1993, the United States Library of Congress deemed the movie “culturally, historically, and aesthetically significant” and selected this important movie for preservation.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? Just beyond a midden in the Misty Mountains, a wretched creature fawns over a prized possession, “It came to me.  My own. My love. My own. My precious.”

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…….

In this teaser your job is to try and discover a shorter word within the given word that relates to the theme.  The word must be an extension of the ‘theme’ word. The letters of the hidden word are NOT jumbled.
Example:
Theme: NIGHT______
Sneaky = SKY (NIGHT SKY)

Theme: NIGHT______
1. Amplifier = ? (NIGHT______)
2. Vowel = ? (NIGHT______)
3. Counteract = ? (NIGHT______)
4. Persimmon = ? (NIGHT______)

Answer: 1. Amplifier = LIFE (NIGHT LIFE)
2. Vowel = OWL (NIGHT OWL)
3. Counteract = COURT (NIGHT COURT)
4. Persimmon = PERSON (NIGHT PERSON) 

 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…

I beam, I shine, I sparkle white
I’ll brighten the gloom with my light
I’ll mystify and enchant all
I’ll bring out the best in you all

Goofy, bucked, green or gold
Young and charming, wise and old
Sly, cunning, empty some times
Mirthful, uplifting, within the lines

A fleeting glimpse or prolonged show
I’m sometimes sad, sometimes mean
Sometimes I’ll say more than you know
Or betray what you think you’ve seen

Now, if you know me, tell me so
You have me too, you know!

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

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Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday July 19, 2018.

Future Novelists… These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

He spoke with wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who  went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those  boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those  boxes with a pinhole in it.

She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian beef.

She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.

Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like, whatever.

He was a tall as a six foot three inch tree.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. 😐

Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced across a  grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left  Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at  4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resemble Steve Harvey’s teeth. 😁

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a  really duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

Her voice had that tense grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightening.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.” -Lisa Kirk

“Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own short-comings, they gradually begin to seem mild, harmless, rather engaging little things, not at all like the staring defects in other people’s characters.” –Margaret Halsey

“Since childhood is a time when kids prepare to be grown ups, I think it makes a lot of sense to completely traumatize your children. Gets ’em ready for the real world” –George Carlin

 

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Grandpa was always going on about the good old days, and the lower cost of living, in particular.

“When I was a kid, my mom could send me to the store, and I’d get a  salami, two pints of milk, 6 oranges, 2 loaves o’ bread, a magazine, and  some new blue jeans… all for a dollar!!”

Then Grandpa said sadly, “You can’t DO that anymore….they got those darn

video cameras everywhere you look.” 😐😎

 

 

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  In which classic holiday movie did Aunt Bethany get a little confused about what she was being asked, and respond with: “Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!”?

ANSWER: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation! Asking Aunt Bethany to ‘say grace’ for the meal, the family waited patiently while what’s wanted was explained to her. In the end, the family joined with Aunt Bethany in a hearty rendition of the U.S. ‘Pledge of Allegiance’ and the feast began!  In this 1989 movie, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation”, Clark Griswold, (played by Chevy Chase) tried to create the perfect family Christmas get-together. However, he was frustrated by his not-so-perfect family, and a sequence of mishaps mar the occasion.

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “…Chief, you’re about as big as a […] mountain!” This is a famous movie quote which not only illustrates the movie but the book it came from, and yet highlights the difference between the book and movie.  From which multi-award winning movie from the 70s did this defining line come?

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…….

Dorothy loves do.
Rina loves re.
Farelina loves fa.
Soledad loves so.
Lara loves la.
Tina loves ti.

Answer: Nobody loves me! The note mi isn’t listed making no one to love it as in Nobody loves mi. 

 

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is…

In this teaser your job is to try and discover a shorter word within the given word that relates to the theme.  The word must be an extension of the ‘theme’ word. The letters of the hidden word are NOT jumbled.
Example:
Theme: NIGHT______
Sneaky = SKY (NIGHT SKY)

Theme: NIGHT______

1. Amplifier = ? (NIGHT______)
2. Vowel = ? (NIGHT______)
3. Counteract = ? (NIGHT______)
4. Persimmon = ? (NIGHT______)

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday July 18, 2018.

Random Humor……      

Polynesia: memory loss in parrots.
Oh Lord, give me patience…and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
A good pun is its own reword.
Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure..
I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
To err is human, to moo bovine.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one’s bottom. Taki 😁😎

Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that  some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are  most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. Christopher Morley

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. Irvin S. Cobb

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. Francis Bacon

Humor results when society says you can’t scratch certain things in public, but they itch in public. Tom Walsh

Humor has a way of bringing people together. It unites people. In fact,  I’m rather serious when I suggest that someone should plant a few  whoopee cushions in the United Nations. Ron Dentinger

Every survival kit should include a sense of humor. Author Unknown

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all  our irritation and resentments slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their  place. Mark Twain

 

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

At the school where my mother worked, the two first-grade teachers were Miss Paine and Mrs. Hacking.

One morning the mother of a  student called in the middle of a flu epidemic to excuse her daughter from school.

“Is she in Paine or Hacking?” the school secretary asked.

“She feels fine,” said the confused mom. “We have company, and I’m keeping her home.” 😐😁😎

 

 

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  The Dean is delivering the grade results to House Delta, looks up and sees the inebriated Flounder and advises him “0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son” in which 1978 film?

ANSWER: Animal House! The Delta House is the worst on campus and Dean Wormer is looking for any opportunity to get rid of them. Their grade scores are the start of his ammunition, but his ultimate plan is “Secret Double Probation”. Dean Vernon Wormer is played by the late John Vernon and his above named victim, Kent “Flounder” Dorfman by the late Stephen Furst. Directed by John Landis the film also starred John Belushi and Donald Sutherland.

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? In which classic holiday movie did Aunt Bethany get a little confused about what she was being asked, and respond with: “Grace? She passed away 30 years ago!”?

 

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…….

A farmer challenges an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to fence off the largest amount of area using the least amount of fence.

The engineer made his fence in a circle and said it was the most efficient.

The physicist made a long line and said that the length was infinite. Then he said that fencing half of the Earth was the best.

The mathematician laughed at the others and with his design, beat the others. What did he do?

Answer:  The mathematician made a small fence around himself and declared himself to be on the outside.

 

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is…

Dorothy loves do.
Rina loves re.
Farelina loves fa.
Soledad loves so.
Lara loves la.
Tina loves ti.

 

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday July 17, 2018.

Mad Ramblings…  
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, “No animals allowed except
for Seeing Eye Dogs?” Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let’s make up.
Have this deceased squirrel.”

Can’t we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have to be reminded every time we go
out to a nice restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why don’t they
just give us a trigonometry quiz with the menu?

Why do they call it a “building”? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a “built”?

Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when
you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on
hold on the phone you hear a radio station?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in
a handicapped stall?

How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires? Isn’t that the basic idea behind
the wheel? Don’t they rotate on their own?

All the king’s HORSES and all the king’s men? Are you kidding me? No wonder they
couldn’t put Humpty together again. Just what did those idiots expect
the horses to do, anyway?

Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front
of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too?

Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? “Whew, I thought we
would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!”

Isn’t it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT
happen? Did some cattleman once say, “Oh, man, I can’t wait till them calves are
done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff.”

Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still
can’t get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean?
These guys can’t even get the DETERGENT white!

Did you see these new minivan ads? All they talk about are cup holders, kiddy seats
and doors. What kind of advertising is that? When you see an ad for a suit, do they say,
“And look at the zipper! Carefully hidden, but easily accessible when you need it!” I think not.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

 

 

 

DAILY QUOTES…

“The Federal Communications Commission, now that they did away with net neutrality, they had another terrible idea. The FCC is considering a plan that would require U.S. citizens to pay $225 to make a complaint. So if you’re mad about how high your cable bill is, soon you can pay the government $225 to complain about it. Boy, they really have their fingers on our pulse, don’t they?” -Jimmy Kimmel

“A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave their baby. They actually have a name for those parents: ‘celebrities.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“In Michigan, a man was too drunk to drive, so he had his 9-year-old daughter drive their van for him. Yeah. As he was being arrested, he told the girl, ‘I’m going to need a lawyer. Go get your little brother.'” -Conan O’Brien

 

 

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A Canadian customer was calling to find out if there was a faster way to trigger menu commands than mousing up to the menus.
Agent: Certainly, sir. There are keyboard shortcuts for many of those commands. For example, suppose you want to trigger the Select All command…
Caller: Yes, I use that one all the time! How do I do it?
Agent: Well, you just press Control-A.
Caller (after a pause): Well, that’s not working for me.
Agent: Do you have a text document open in front of you?
Caller: Yes, I sure do.
Agent: OK, now press Control-A.
Caller: I am, but nothing happens.
Agent: The text isn’t highlighted?
Caller: No, there’s no change at all.
Agent: That’s odd. If you press Control-A the whole document should be highlighted. Try it again. Press Control-A.
Tell me exactly what’s happening.
Caller (nearing his Canadian breaking point): Listen. I’m pressing Control, eh? And nothing’s happening, eh? 😱😐😎

 

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “What’s your favorite scary movie?”

ANSWER: Scream! When Drew Barrymore is on the phone with the killer, this is one of his infamous questions.

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? The Dean is delivering the grade results to House Delta, looks up and sees the inebriated Flounder and advises him “0.2… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son” in which 1978 film?

 

Monday’s Quizzer is……. Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.

Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN

1. LENGTH – _______ – CRACK
2. WITH – _______ – OVER
3. MAKE – _______ – LESS

Answer:  1. LENGTH – WISE – CRACK  2. WITH – HOLD – OVER   3. MAKE – SHIFT – LESS

 

Tuesday’s Quizzer is…

A farmer challenges an engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician to fence off the largest amount of area using the least amount of fence.

The engineer made his fence in a circle and said it was the most efficient.

The physicist made a long line and said that the length was infinite. Then he said that fencing half of the Earth was the best.

The mathematician laughed at the others and with his design, beat the others. What did he do?

 

 

 

 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com.

 

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday July 16, 2018.

Pondering out loud……….. 
Why is it that when you’re driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rear view mirror that says–“objects in mirror are closer than they appear”, how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock “go off” when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does “cleave” mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die
of natural causes. Author Unknown

She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. Mae West

If you cannot answer a man’s argument, all it not lost; you can still call

him vile names. Elbert Hubbard

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Author Unknown

She was what we used to call a suicide blond – dyed by her own hand. Saul Bellow

It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged

off me during school term. Mark Twain

Protect me from knowing what I don’t need to know. Protect me from even  knowing that there are things to know that I don’t know. Protect me from  knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not  to know about. Amen.  Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

An  elephant was drinking out of a river one day, when he spotted a turtle  asleep
on a log. So, he ambled on over and kicked it clear across the  river.

“What did you do that for?” Asked a passing giraffe.

“Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my trunk 53 years ago.”

“Wow, what a memory” commented the giraffe.

“Yes,” said the elephant, “turtle recall”. 😁😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Spiders! Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies’?” 

ANSWER: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. When Ron and Harry find the cave of Aragog, Ron blatantly shows his disgust for spiders.

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???“What’s your favorite scary movie?”

 

 

Friday’s Quizzer is…….

I am partially baked.
I am not completely lit.
I am a portion of the moon.
I am lesser than full wit.
I am a divider of the hour.
I am not a total lie.
I am a sibling through one parent.
Can you guess….what am I???

 
Answer:  HALF
half baked, half lit, half moon, half wit, half past the hour, half truth, half brother/sister. 

Monday’s Quizzer is…

Below are 3 pairs of words. Find the words that fit in the middle of each pair of words to create two new words, one front-ended and one back-ended.

Example: EVER – ______ – HORN
Answer: EVER – GREEN – HORN

1. LENGTH – _______ – CRACK
2. WITH – _______ – OVER
3. MAKE – _______ – LESS






LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday July 13, 2018.

Doesn’t It Annoy You When…
…there’s a car alarm nearby that goes on for hours and the owner is nowhere to be found?
…you buy an answering machine so you won’t miss any calls, and then everyone hangs up when they hear the machine answer?
…there’s a cop car in sight and everyone thinks they have to drive 10-15 mph slower than the speed limit?
…you’re reading a magazine and all those annoying little subscription cards keep falling out?
…you tell someone that a door is locked and they try to open it anyway, like it’ll magically open for them and not you.
…someone says, “well, to make a long story short” and then they go on telling it for another 15 minutes.
…a friend or family member says “Yuck! This is awful!!” and then tells you to try some.
…you have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you’re just looking around.
…you rub on hand cream and can’t turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
…a waiter or waitress is not around at any time other than right after you put food in your mouth.
…your tire gauge lets half the air in your tire when all you want is a pressure reading.
…there’s a dog in your neighborhood that barks at EVERYTHING.
…the power goes out, you discover every flashlight you have has dead batteries & your cellphone flash light is to low to even light a match.
…someone gets in the express lane at the supermarket and writes a check or uses a whole lotta pennies.
…the elevator stops at every floor and nobody gets on.
…you almost ALWAYS back up your computer files but the week you don’t, your hard drive crashes and you lose everything.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… “I believe in dragons, fairies, good men and other mythical creatures!” – Anon

“You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.” – Mark Twain.

“As God once said, and I think rightly…” – Margaret Thatcher.

“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into

the soul of the boy next to me.” – Woody Allen.

“Whoever said ‘nothings impossible’ never tried to nail jell-o to a tree” – Lisa Bryant

“If they can send one man to the moon why can’t they send them all?” – Amy

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. Three  ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said,  “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while  standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can’t remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed  in with, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third  one responded, ” Well, ladies, I’m glad I don’t have that problem.  Knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said,  “That must be the door, I’ll get it!” 😎

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  “One ring to rule them all.” 

ANSWER: Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring! This was said in “The Fellowship”. In the beginning, Galadriel narrates how the rings became.  She tells of Sauron’s ring: a ring to rule the world.

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Spiders! Why couldn’t it be ‘follow the butterflies’?”

 

Thursday’s Quizzer is……. In this teaser, your job is to form eight (8) complete words from list A, B, & C. In each list, there are parts of  words. Choose one word part from each list (A, B, C) to form the new word.
Example: CORN + ERST + ONE = CORNERSTONE

List A:
FOR
ANT
EM
BOO
PER
IN
MAT
NO

List B:
CUB
IS
ME
ON
IT
EN
AD
PA

List C:
COPE
THY
DAY
SIC
ATE
RUST
RANG
OR
Answer:   1. FORENSIC
2. ANTITRUST
3. EMPATHY
4. BOOMERANG
5. PERISCOPE
6. INCUBATE
7. MATADOR
8. NOONDAY

Friday’s Quizzer is…

I am partially baked.
I am not completely lit.
I am a portion of the moon.
I am lesser than full wit.
I am a divider of the hour.
I am not a total lie.
I am a sibling through one parent.
Can you guess….what am I???






 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org

 

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday July 12, 2018.

Amazing Anagrams……..
Dormitory == Dirty Room
Desperation == A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code == Here Come Dots
Slot Machines == Cash Lost in ’em
Animosity == Is No Amity
Snooze Alarms == Alas! No More Z’s
Alec Guinness == Genuine Class
Semolina == Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries == Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point == I’m a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes == That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two == Twelve plus one
Contradiction == Accord not in it
This one’s amazing: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]
To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Becomes: In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent  hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.
And the grand finale: “That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong
becomes: A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…“When I married Donna, I could get both hands around her waist,” said my husband’s grandfather. Pointing at his full-figured wife, he boasted, “Now look how much I got. That’s what I call an investment!”

My wife’s star sign was cancer and it’s quite ironic how she died really…She was attacked by a giant crab.

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day.

  

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said, “There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, “and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…” The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. 

Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”

The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”

“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.

The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”  “Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”

The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?” 😎

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Don’t worry about me. So, what’s in the bag?” 

ANSWER: Run Lola Run! After Manny had retrieved his stolen money, he met up with Lola. Little did he know that in the bag was 10,000 marks!

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “One ring to rule them all.”

 

 

Wednesday’s Quizzer is……. Write a table that contains a row of letters and a row of numbers where you can clearly tell that A=1, B=2, C=3 etc until Z=26. Using it, decipher the clues to find a nine letter word which could describe someone evil.

– The 2nd and 7th letters are the same and divisible by 5.
– The 6th letter is an even number which is LESS than 13.
– The 5th is the 1st and 6th letter’s value added together.
– The 8th letter is a prime number between 15 and 25.
– The 3rd letter is a vowel, whose value is less than 10.
– The 1st letter has a value 10 less than the 4th.
– The last letter’s value is equal to double the 8th and then subtract 19.

 

Answer:  Heartless.
Values: 8 5 1 18 20 12 5 19 19

Thursday’s Quizzer is……In this teaser, your job is to form eight (8) complete words from list A, B, & C. In each list, there are parts of words. Choose one word part from each list (A, B, C) to form the new word.

Example:

CORN + ERST + ONE = CORNERSTONE

List A:
FOR
ANT
EM
BOO
PER
IN
MAT
NO

List B:
CUB
IS
ME
ON
IT
EN
AD
PA

List C:
COPE
THY
DAY
SIC
ATE
RUST
RANG
OR









 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

LINKS: http://www.slampi.org., http://www.hopeBUILD.org. http://www.GodLovesPraise.com, http://www.stlzoo.org