On an electrician’s van: “We’ll remove your shorts!”
In a veterinarian’s office: “Back in 15 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
On the door to a proctologist’s office: “To expedite your visit, please back in.”
At a tailor shop: We give our customers the lowest prices and workmanship
At a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Please do not hunt during daylight”
On a septic tank business: “We’re #1 in the #2 business”
At a photo studio: “Have your kids shot while you wait!”
In a cafeteria: “Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria.”
In a clothing store: “Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”
At a teriyaki restaurant: “$3.99 Chicken Bowel!”
In a Vermont men’s store: “25 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”
On a shopping mall marquee: “Archery Tournament – Ears pierced”
In a Mall: “Ears pierced, while you wait”
In a New Jersey store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”
Seen on a Taco Bell sign in Coralville, Iowa: “Everyday low value”
In a Maine restaurant: “At your service: Open 7 days a week and weekends.”
On a radiator repair garage: “Best place to take a leak.”
In the vestry of a Westminster church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”
Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.”
In an Ohio cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”
In Vancouver, British Columbia, on a folding sign in front of a small language school: “English Tootering”
On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.”
On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.”
On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”
In a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”
On a fixit-shop: We can fix anything! (Please knock loudly, doorbell broken)
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
In the book of life, the answers aren’t in the back. Charlie Brown
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. Reba McEntire
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork. Mae West
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. Spike Milligan
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That’s basic
spelling that every woman ought to know. Mistinguette
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
ANSWER: White Heat!
Maple, oak, blackwood, acacia, birch and mountain-ash.
Answer: Shiver me timbers.
Maple, oak, blackwood, acacia, birch and mountain-ash: timbers (a group of trees).
A. Dining Board
D. Playful water mammal