Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday May 11, 2018.

Confucius Says:

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Man who leap off cliff jump to conclusion.

Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.

When lady say `no´ she mean `perhaps´ when she say `perhaps´ she mean

`yes´ but when she say `yes´, she not a lady.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.

Television never replace old reliable key hole.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy…

Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.

Man who scratches backside should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Kids are like Legos, lot of fun to make, but sooner or later, only end up messing up house.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people, and whatever you do, don’t

forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

“A man wearing a Batman costume was pulled over while
driving a Lamborghini. I think the real story here is that a grown man
who owns a Batman costume can actually afford a Lamborghini.” -Jimmy Fallon

“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers
than drunk people. Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when
you’re driving at 11 miles an hour.” -Conan O’Brien

“It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.”
– Isaac Asimov

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”
– Maya Angelou

“I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure.”
– John D. Rockefeller

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The summer after college graduation, I was living at home, fishing in the daytime, spending nights with my friends–generally just hanging out. One afternoon my grandfather, who never went to college, stopped by. Concerned with how I was spending my time, he asked about my future plans. I told him I was in no hurry to tie myself down to a career. “Well,” he replied, “you better start thinking about it. You’ll be thirty before you know it.” “But I’m closer to twenty than to thirty,” I protested. “I won’t be thirty for eight more years.” “I see,” he said, smiling. “And when will you be twenty again?” 😐😁

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

  ‘They call me Mister Tibbs!’
  
ANSWER:

IN THE HEAT OF THE NIGHT!
Due to the incredible acting done by Sidney Poitier and Rod Steiger, this film won 5 Academy Awards in 1967.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!

 ‘No more wire hangers EVER!’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……

In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence. Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)

1. When you g___ up, I will let you climb the ship’s p___.
2. Do you want to be a ri___ swimmer or an ocean di___?
3. The strongest oarsman in the boat is a po___ ro___.
4. The cheap tickets didn’t al___ them to go be___ deck.

Answer:

1. grow prow

2. river diver
3. power rower
4. allow below



Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The Antisocial Club meets every week at Jim’s Bar. Since they are so antisocial, however, everyone always sits as far as possible from the other members, and no one ever sits right next to another member. Because of this, the 25-stool bar is almost always less than half full and unfortunately for Jim the members that don’t sit at the bar don’t order any drinks. Jim, however, is pretty smart and makes up a new rule: The first person to sit at the bar has to sit at one of two particular stools. If this happens, then the maximum number of members will sit at the bar. Which stools must be chosen? Assume the stools are numbered 1 to 25 and are arranged in a straight line.



LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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