Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday May 9, 2018.

Deep Thoughts…. 

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that
something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then
reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?

How do those dead bugs get into closed light fixtures?

Why do we wash BATH towels? Aren’t we clean when we use
them? If not then what was the purpose of the bath?

Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your
clothes would they eventually just disappear?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for
doing so, why do we say ‘It’s all right’? It isn’t all right, so why don’t we say, ‘That hurt, you stupid idiot?’

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling
off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a
trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?

Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

Why is it that inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the heck happened?

If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

Why are the needy only thought of during the holidays? Aren’t they just as needy throughout the rest of the year?

Why is it that men can react to broken bones as ‘just a sprain’ and deep wounds as ‘just a scratch,’ but when
they get the sniffles they are deathly ill ‘with the flu’ and have to be bedridden for weeks?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?

Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

Shouldn’t all married men forget their mistakes? After all there’s no sense
in two people remembering the same things right?

Is the real reason women live longer then men because they don’t have to live with women?😁😎

If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to?

 

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else. John Keats
Love yourself. It is important to stay positive because beauty comes from the inside out. Jenn Proske
Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu
Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth. Bradley Whitford

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Our family took shelter in the basement after hearing a tornado warning. My husband told everyone to stay put while he got his cell phone out of the car, in case the lines went dead. He didn’t return for the longest time, so I went looking for him. I was upstairs calling his name, when I heard our answering machine click on. “Hi,” a voice said. “This is Dad. I’m locked out of the house.”😐😁

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘I am not an animal; I am a human being!’

  
ANSWER:

The Elephant Man! John Hurt played the elphant man in this film.

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

‘As God is my witness, I’ll never be hungry again!’

TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK KIM! 🙏🙏🙏🙅🙇

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……

I have given you a starting word (a clue). Your job is to fill in the blanks with a 4-letter word that matches the clue
already given. This 4-letter word must complete the 7-letter word next to it. Have fun!

1. Therefore = ? = V_ _ TI _ _
2. Whirl = ? = A _ _ IR _ _
3. Demeanour = ? = A _ B _ _ _ T
4. Shoestring = ? = G _ _ _ I _ R

Answer:

1. Therefore = ergo = V e r TI g o
2. Whirl = spin = A s p IR i n
3. Demeanour = mien = A m B i e n T
4. Shoestring = lace = G l a c I e R


Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Some people’s names (such as “Will Power”) suggest a certain personality or career choice. Given below are some last names
and professions (in no particular order). For each last name, your task is to think of a common first name, such that it suggests
one of the given professions. Each last name and profession must be used just once.
Example: Sonny Day would suggest a meteorologist.

Last Names: Burr, Lee, Oakey, Poole, Schauer, Shaw
Professions: Biologist, Cabdriver, Farmer, Lumberjack, Meteorologist, Singer

The hint provides the first names.


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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