Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday May 4, 2018.

Think about it!

* Money doesn’t bring you happiness, but it enables you to look for it in more places.
* Your conscience may not keep you from doing wrong, but it sure keeps you from enjoying it.
* Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
* Misers aren’t much fun to live with, but they make great ancestors.
* Be careful what rut you choose. You may be in it the rest of your life.
* The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
* When you see the handwriting on the wall, you can bet you’re in a public restroom.
* Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
* The real reason you can’t take it with you is that it goes before you do.
* Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you need it.
* Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
* A closed mouth gathers no feet.
* A man (or woman) who can smile when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
* A modern pioneer is a woman who can get through a rainy Saturday with a television on the blink.
* The world is full of willing people: some willing to work and some willing to let them.
* Money isn’t everything….there’s credit cards, money orders, and travelers checks.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES...

“Shakespeare is inaccurate. When I read ‘Hamlet,’ I was disappointed it 
wasn’t about a little ham.” -Craig Ferguson

“Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting
drunk off of alcohol. It’s perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of
alcohol but none of the fun.” -Conan O’Brien

“Police in California just burned 34,000 marijuana plants that were growing 
in a state park. The police were very angry about finding all that weed until 
the wind changed direction.” -Jimmy Fallon 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

My father was extremely nervous about his first funeral service as a Navy chaplain, but the undertaker assured him that he would prompt him. All went well until, at the close, the undertaker whispered to him to instruct the family to come up and view the body. “Will the family now come forward and pass around the bier,” said my father. He cringed inwardly when he heard his own words. Later, as my father was leaving, he overheard two of the cemetery workers talking. “I didn’t get any beer,” one said. “Did you?” “You heard the chaplain,” the other replied. “It was just for the family.”  😐

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Sorry I’m just a little wired, AHHH I mean wired as in jumpy, not wired my crotch.’

ANSWER:

Corky Romano! Chris Kattan was trying to walk past security disguised as a detective.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!

‘Allow myself to introduce…myself.’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……

Fred went to a hardware store in Boston with Alex, Ben, and George. He noted that a hammer cost ten times as much as a screwdriver and a power saw cost ten times as much as a hammer. The storekeeper said that Ben could buy a power saw, George could buy a screwdriver and Alex could buy a hammer.  Based on this what would the storekeeper let Fred buy?

Answer:  Fred could buy all three (the power saw, hammer and screwdriver) since he had $111 with him (a $1 bill-George Washington, a $10 bill-Alexander Hamilton, and a $100 bill-Ben Franklin). Boston is in the USA and therefore uses the US currency I just described.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
For those of you who never played Might and Magic (a computer game), the Vowel-less Knights would always say something without vowels. It was up to you, the player, to figure out what they were saying. In their tradition, what are these famous quotes?

1) Spk sftl nd crr bg stck.

2) gv hm th whl nn yrds!

3) Nvr hv s fw gvn s mch fr s mn.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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