Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday April 27, 2018.

Pondering Out Loud…….

If mummies are from egypt,then from where are daddies from?
Should vegetarians attend meetings?
If you mix flour, water and salt you get glue. If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake. Where does the glue go?
If breaks are meant to be slow… then why do they call it “breakfast”?
How can the cemetry raise it’s burial costs and blame it on the price of living?
Why do they leave out the letter b on “Garage Sale” signs?
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?
Why do they have ear piercing while you wait? Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?
Adam and Eve were the first people on earth…………Did they have belly buttons?
A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn’t that handy?
Are unripened oranges called greens?
A wise old owl sat on an oak, The more he saw the less he spoke; The less he spoke the more he heard; Why can’t we be like that wise old bird?
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Can it be a mistake that “desserts” gives “stressed” spelled backwards?
Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?
Crime doesn’t pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?
Did Noah include termites on the ark?
Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?
Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell?

Have a great weekend people, and whatever you do, don’t

forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and
put it back in your pocket. Unknown

Arguing about whether the glass is half full or half empty misses the point, 
which is this: the bartender cheated you.
Unknown

Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, 
feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life.
Unknown

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

In the primary school, I was an outstanding student. My teacher
would send me to stand outside of the class as a punishment.

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An English professor  wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing”
on the blackboard  and directed his students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” The
women wrote: “Woman: Without her, man is nothing.” 😏😎

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 ‘Come here Mr. Penguin, oh you’re a quick one.’

ANSWER: Billy Madison! Adam Sandler said this after hallucinating a giant penguin, and then chased it around in a golf cart.

Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!

 ‘Holy Schniekies!’, ‘Son of a…’, ‘Did you eat paint chips as a kid?’

——————————————————————————————


Thursday’s Quizzler is……….

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

Find all ten words described below.

——————-

The first word you’ll need
is a tool used to snare.
Reverse and add one:
a dwelling filled with fresh air.

Append the letter H
to find a metric sort of part.
Now change N to E to get
a smile, at its heart.

Tack on an ‘I N G’
to make a baby’s cross to bear.
Remove the center two
and find a golfer’s action there.

Add an S and drop the E’s:
A painful bite you’ll see.
Add one to the end: you will make
penny-pinching, miserly.

Put first 2 and last 2 out the door,
What’s left is really cool.
Only keep the first half of that
And now you find the fool.

ANSWER:  

NET (a tool used to snare)
TENT (a dwelling filled with fresh air)
TENTH (a metric sort of part)
TEETH (a smile, at its heart)
TEETHING (what a baby suffers from — its “cross to bear”)
TEEING (a golfer’s action)
STING (A painful bite)
STINGY (penny-pinching, miserly)
IN (really cool — i.e. the “in” thing)
I (I am the fool, after all. Or does it refer to you? 😀 )


Friday’s Quizzler is……….
Once, there was a lovesick tiger who fell in love with a lovely lioness. However, her pride rejected him, and they were not allowed to be together because he was different.

Heart sickness and grief caused the lovely lioness to lose all of her fur. Even though it was a sad sight, the tiger was overjoyed! Now he would shave off all of his fur. Then he could pretend to be a large lion and be with his beloved.

Unfortunately, they did not get to live happily ever after! His plan failed. Even with his fur gone, everyone could tell he was a tiger.

Ignoring any obvious size differences, how did the pride know that he was obviously still a tiger?




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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