Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday April 24, 2018.

Pondering out loud…..

Why do people point to their wrist when they want to know what time it is, but
they don’t point to their pants when they need to ask where the restroom is?
Why are there no pictures of “no flash photography” signs?
Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Why is is it called a roach clip? It should be called a pot holder.
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do doctors leave the room when you get undressed? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why does a pizza get to the house faster than an ambulance?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”, but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s the extra penny?
Why is the original text in a document called “copy”?
Why do drug stores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescription, but smokers can get their cigarettes up front?
Why is the small size of a candy bar the “fun size”? It’s more fun to eat a big candy bar.
Why are there handicap parking places in front of the skating rink?
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and then a diet coke?

Have a Happy Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t

forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES...

“This weekend is the 80th birthday of Superman. Now that he’s 80, Superman is rendered
helpless by Kryptonite and his email password.” -Conan O’Brien

“A group of scientists in Singapore built a robot that can put together Ikea furniture. That’s when you know something’s wrong, when it’s easier to build a robot than an Ikea dresser.” -Jimmy Fallon

“You know how sometimes when priests go to the Vatican they bring gifts for the Pope from their home region? Recently, a priest from Kentucky decided to give Pope Francis 10 bottles of whiskey. He got 10 bottles of whiskey, which explains why this morning’s 9 a.m. Mass was held at 2 p.m.” -James Corden 😱

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

We had a power outage last week and my computer, TV, and games console shut down immediately.  It was raining hard and I couldn’t play golf either so I just talked to my wife for a few hours.  Seems like a nice person. 😐

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

 ‘I got peed on.’

ANSWER:

American Pie 2!
After Stifler had an Asian guy pee on him by accident, he went into the house, almost in shock and said this to his buddies sitting at the table playing cards.

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

‘It’s a race, it’s a race.’

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Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

I am a letter.

I am in talk, and in stop,
I am in tickle, and in tackle,
I am in bullet, and kite,
I am in poster, and in tear,
I am in torn, and in fear,
I am in tick, and in stock,
I am in tulip, but I’m also in by.

What am I?

ANSWER:  

 I am a letter, I didn’t ask which one.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Your task is to change ONE letter in each of the following eight words to discover a common theme.

LOIN
STEAL
BILLET
FRYING
CLANK
LINE
CAKE
STEED



LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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