Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday April 18, 2018.

THE NAME GAME (Again!)

1.If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she’d be Dolly Dali.
2.If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she’d be Oprah Chopra.
3.If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John,
she’d be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
4.If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster,
she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
5.If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he’d be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
6.How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he’d be Boog Alou.
7.If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale,
she’d be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale.
8.If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway),
Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener  (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.😁😎

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t  forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

“The CEO of Domino’s Pizza announced that he is stepping down. He’ll carefully pack up his office, then gets home and find that all his stuff is stuck to the top of the box.” -Jimmy Fallon

“According to a new report, America’s teenagers are 30th in the world in math. Luckily, America’s teenagers will never understand the report because they’re 85th in reading.” -Conan O’Brien

“Big news from the Oxford English Dictionary. For all of you kids who don’t know what a dictionary is, it’s a small portion of the Internet, printed out, kept on a shelf, and opened once every three years during a Scrabble game.” -Jimmy Kimmel

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

Neighbors of ours had a terrible disagreement over a patio they wanted for their backyard. The wife had rather grand ideas, while the husband wanted costs kept to a minimum. The wife won out, and the construction bill climbed higher and higher.

I dropped by one day, when the patio was near completion, and was surprised to find the husband smiling from ear to ear as the workmen smoothed over the surface. I remarked how nice it was to see a grin replace the frown he had been wearing lately.

“You see where they’re smoothing that cement?” he replied. “I just threw my wife’s credit cards in there.” 😐😎

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“If you two want to turn yourselves into a greasy spot on some country road…”

ANSWER:

Days of Thunder! Uttered by Sen. Fred Thompson when telling Cole and Rowdy not to be so, well, Rowdy..

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!

“I’m not even supposed the be here today!”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

What do the following word pairs have in common?

Tubs, Star
Jolt, Inks
Dabs, Czar
Pint, Ohms
Beet, Adds

ANSWER:  

If you replace every letter in the first word with the letter preceding it in the alphabet (A wraps around to Z), you get the second word. In other words, the first word is the second word with a Caesar shift of 1.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Guess this prefix…

I change something weighing two thousand pounds into a small, light container.
I turn a food that is decaying into one that isn’t.
I turn a whole country into a small flower.
I change something alive into something flat and not alive.


LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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