Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday April 16, 2018.

Funny Oxymoron Examples….

English contains a rich supply of figures of speech, but few have as many amusing
possibilities as an oxymoron, for example:
Dry lake
Fuzzy logic
Living dead
Free gift
Numb sensation
Same difference, once again
Stand down
Metal woods (Golfers)
Books on tape
Crash landing
Detailed summary
Anarchy rules!
Park drive
Stationary orbit
Jumbo shrimp, followed by vegetarian meatballs, and for desert, grape nuts.😐

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

“A motorcycle gang in Canada is attacking businesses they don’t like by giving them mass one-star reviews online. They’re the fearsome badass biker gang known as ‘Yelp’s Angels.'” -Conan O’Brien

“Today Mark Zuckerberg testified in Congress about Facebook’s data leak. His opening statement was six pages long. Or as your aunt calls that, one Facebook post.” -Jimmy Fallon

“The workout company CrossFit is now getting into the meal delivery business. But their meal kit is getting mixed reviews because, well, it isn’t really a meal, it’s nothing but ten pounds of raw meat. And you thought your dog chased the mailman before.” -James Corden 😁

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Things I never learned in high school:
1. What taxes are.
2. How to do taxes.
3. How to vote.
4. Anything to do with banking.
5. How to buy a car or a house.

But I’m so glad I know the Pythagorean Theorem! 😐

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

“This is an AK-47, the preferred weapon of the enemy. It makes a very distinct sound when fired at you.”

ANSWER:

Heartbreak Ridge! Clint Eastwood. Gotta love him.

Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!

“Where’s the stuff, KAREN? You What? Why did you do that KAREN? That was worth sixty thousand dollars KAREN. We needed that KAREN. We were dependent on that KAREN! That’s all we got!”

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Friday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

The groom said, “Pack your bikini, Darling. I’m taking you to the tallest mountain
in the world, and you’ll need it for the nearby beaches.”
Where was he taking Darling?

ANSWER:  

He was taking Darling to Mauna Kea in Hawaii. Mauna Kea (or “White Mountain”)
has the remnants of glacial terrane from the last global ice age on its summit, and
snow in the winter. From base to summit, at over nine kilometers, the volcano
Mauna Kea is the world’s tallest mountain. Most of Mauna Kea happens to be below water, and its summit is only a couple of hours from a beach. Mt. Everest is the highest but not the tallest because it stands on the high Tibetan plateau, and also there are no ocean beaches near by the mountain.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
The following clues each form a unique word by themselves, add them together to get the name of a country. Example: blue and yellow mixed + solid ground = ? Answer: green + land = Greenland

1. frozen water + solid ground of the earth = ?

2. used to refer to oneself + competed in a race = ?

3. anger or wrath + to lower an airplane from sky to ground = ?

4. a relaxing resort + not out = ?

bonus: never used + enthusiastic devotion + in addition to = ? ?








LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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