Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday April 4, 2018.

Ten Funny Things About Marriage….
1.The woman always makes the rules

2.These rules are subject to change without notice
3.No man can possibly know all the rules
4.The woman is never wrong
5.If it appears the woman is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding caused
by something the man did or said
6.The man must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding
7.The woman can change her mind at any time
8.The man must never change his mind without the proper consent of the woman
9.The man must read the mind of the woman at all times
10. At all times, what is important is what the woman meant, not what she said.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do,don’tforget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy.  If you get a bad one, you’ll
become a philosopher.  (Socrates)

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge in Cincinnati
he asked her, ‘What did you steal?’
She replied, ‘A can of peaches.’
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.
The judge then said, ‘I will then give you 6 days in jail.’
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, ‘What is it?’
The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’😐

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Cameron is so tight if you stuck a lump of coal…in two weeks you’d have a diamond.’

ANSWER:  Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!

Matthew Broderick stars as the kid everyone loves. I wanna be Ferris.


Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!
‘Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.’

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

Which of the following six names is the odd one out?

Eva, Sophia, Diana, Carol, Lin, or Mary?

Two hints are given, the second of which might be a giveaway…

ANSWER:

Five of the names are found in the names of American states.
Nevada, Indiana, Carolina, Illinois and Maryland.

Sophia does not fit with the others.

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they
look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)

1. When God speaks, it is a w___ from the L___.
2 After the fl___, Noah disembarked and st___ on Mount Ararat.
3. If it doesn’t rain today, I will wa___ the garden la___.
4. He was so___ to wo___ his family by arriving home late.




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

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