Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday March 29, 2018.

Humor about the old…
OLD CANNERS never die, they are preserved
OLD CARS never die, they just get run into the ground
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out
OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just do it inorganically
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just fail to react
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just lose their refluxes
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just reach equilibrium
OLD CHEMISTS never die, they just smell that way
OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket
OLD COMPOSERS never die, they just decompose
OLD COMPUTER PEOPLE never die, they just lose their memory
OLD COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS never die, they just byte the dust
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged
OLD COURIERS never die, they just keep on EXPRESSing it!      

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do,don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...

“I read about a man in Ohio who just ended his streak of eating Chipotle for 500 straight
days. When asked why he decided to stop, his family said, ‘Oh, he died.'” -Jimmy Fallon

“For the first time ever, scientists have created artificial life. The hope is that it can revolutionize healthcare, generate clean energy, become super-intelligent, take over the world, make us all its slaves, etc.” -Jimmy Kimmel

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family
in Egypt and is named “Amal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him
“Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Amal. Her husband responds, “But they are twins-if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen
Amal. 😐

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
‘Guns for show, knives for a pro. Is there something you’re not telling us, Soap?’

ANSWER: Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels!

This English film is one of my favorites. It’s really funny.

Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!
‘…for my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great. You have no power over me.’

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for
one letter (each group describes a
different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.

1a) inexperienced
1b) to address with expressions of kind wishes
1c) unreasonable selfish desire

2a) highly skilled
2b) to conform
2c) to accept formally and put into effect

3a) a committee for judging and awarding prizes
3b) conceal or hide
3c) violent anger

4a) a rounded shape
4b) spoken
4c) a gemstone

ANSWER:

1) green, greet, greed
2) adept, adapt, adopt
3) jury, bury, fury
4) oval, oral, opal
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters,
so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)

1. Now that I can fly a kite, I don’t m___ the w___.
2. Children in Alabama could be called the Deep So___ yo___.
3. That bully must ce___ to te___ his fellow students.
4. By his 18th birthday, the prince had gr___ into his cr___.




LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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