I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can’t stand alone, it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people,
is Spanish. German finished fourth, which I find hard to believe. In German,
even ‘I love you’ sounds like a threat.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Anheuser-Busch has announced it will begin selling a new organic beer called
‘Michelob Ultra Pure Gold.’ As in, ‘Sorry, all we have left is Michelob Ultra Pure Gold.'” -Seth Meyers
“A new study found that a growing number of parents regret the name they gave
their baby. They actually have a name for those parents: ‘celebrities.'” -Jimmy Fallon
director and customer-service personnel over the room temperature, which is usually too low.
The frustrated director, trying to get us to understand his position, announced one afternoon, “We need to keep the temperature below seventy-five degrees or the computers will overheat.”
Thinking that this was just another excuse, one of my shivering colleagues retorted, “Yeah right. So how did they keep the computers from overheating before there was air conditioning?”😐
them ol’ redneck boys. Can you believe that?”
2: “My name’s ___________, people call me ___________.”
ANSWER: Forrest Gump!
Slow-witted Forrest Gump (Tom Hanks) has never thought of himself as disadvantaged, and
thanks to his supportive mother (Sally Field), he leads anything but a restricted life. Whether
dominating on the gridiron as a college football star, fighting in Vietnam or captaining a shrimp
boat, Forrest inspires people with his childlike optimism. But one person Forrest cares about
most may be the most difficult to save — his childhood love, the sweet but troubled Jenny (Robin Wright).
I suppose that may be true.
But the type I am was mostly played
In a place where grass is blue.
Of wood and pearl, skin and steel,
You could say I am high strung.
My neck looks like a ladder,
With brass on every rung.
What am I?
ANSWER: A 5-string banjo.
named Joel Walter Sweeny of Appomattox Court House, VA, is credited with inventing the 5-string
banjo when he adapted the banjar by adding a 5th string. The 5-string banjo was most
popularized by its use in Bluegrass Music. Brass is used on the frets of the Banjo neck.
eg Letter to Letters, Word to Words and Language to Languages
There is a word however that is pluralized with the addition of the letter C.
What is it?