Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday February 28, 2018.  

Funny Medical Quotes by Hospital Specialists….

A panel of doctors was asked for their opinions concerning a proposal to build a new
wing to their hospital.  This was what they said:
The Allergists voted to scratch it.
The Dermatologists preferred no rash moves.
The Psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The Radiologists could see right through it.
The Gastro-enterologists had a gut feeling about it.
The Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve.
The Obstetricians stated they were labouring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted.
The Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body.”
The Paediatricians said, “Grow up!”
The Plastic Surgeon said, ‘This puts a whole new face on the matter.’
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward.
The Urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Anaesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.
The Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!

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DAILY QUOTES...
My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation,
he touched up the X-rays. – Joey Bishop

After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me, ‘Maybe life isn’t for everyone’. – Larry Brown.

She got her looks from her father: He’s a plastic surgeon. – Groucho Marx.

I’m not feeling very well, I need a doctor immediately.  Ring the nearest golf course. – Groucho Marx

The art of medicine is in amusing a patient while nature affects the cure. – Voltaire

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her
like Bo Derek.  He gave her a lobotomy. – Joan Rivers

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won’t cure a cold. – Jerry Vale

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined. – Samuel Goldwyn

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. – Erma Bombeck

I’m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can’t understand is, if they don’t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? – Paul Merton

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Allan, a mechanic, was removing a cylinder head from a Harley-Davidson motorbike, when he spotted a world-famous heart surgeon in his garage. The heart surgeon was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike.
Allan shouted across the garage, ‘Hey Doc can I ask you a question?’  The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to Allan.  Allan straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, ‘So Doc, look at this engine.  I also can open hearts, take valves out, fix’em, put in new parts and when I finish this will work just like a new one.  So how come I work for a pittance and you get the really big money, when you and I are doing basically the same work?’
The surgeon paused, smiled and leaned over and whispered in Allan’s ear, ‘Try doing it with the engine running.’😎

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
“Listen up, ladies and gentlemen! Our _____________ has been  on the run for ninety minutes. Average footspeed over uneven ground,  barring injuries, is four miles per hour. That gives us a radius of six  miles …”
ANSWER:

Fugitive (from “The Fugitive” – 1993)
“The Fugitive” (1993) starred Harrison Ford as Dr. Richard Kimble, a man falsely convicted of murdering his wife. The movie was based on a popular TV series from the 60’s. The particular quote was spoken by Deputy Marshall Samuel Gerard, played by Tommy Lee Jones, as he is organizing the manhunt for Kimble.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
1: “I’m not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to tell all your friends about me.”
2: “What are you?”
1: “I’m __________.”

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Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word. You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. To look for -> To perceive
2. Use the mind -> Slender, narrow
3. Enclosed army vehicle -> A colour; darkening of the skin
4. A colour -> Thin, pointed piece of metal
5. Tree covering -> Metal rod
6. Timber; board -> Design; a scheme developed in advance
7. Bare, plain; blunt -> Celestial night light
8. Descended in water -> Celestial night light with orbiting planets

ANSWER:

1. Seek -> See
2. Think -> Thin
3. Tank -> Tan
4. Pink -> Pin
5. Bark -> Bar
6. Plank -> Plan
7. Stark -> Star
8. Sunk -> Sun
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the words that are empty by using words that will connect with the previous one.

EXAMPLE: Towel, Rack. (You have the words Towel and Rack, but when put together it becomes “Towel rack”.)

Try to connect candy to washer.

Candy
B_ _
S _ _ _
D_ _ _
Washer

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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