Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

403512_307288249362456_1576285008_n

WELCOME to Wednesday February 21, 2018.  

Thoughts on Aging…..

You enjoy watching the washer and dryer in action.
You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.
Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you’re barefoot.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
You’re cautioned to “slow down” – not by the police but by your doctor!
You are getting a little action today – but that means the fiber is working.
You think “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
You think an “all-nighter” is not having to get up to pee.
A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
You’re the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.
You’re smiling all the time because you can’t hear a thing anyone is saying.
You’re very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.
You’re aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as cute as yours.
You’re very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).
You’re not grouchy; you just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
You’re wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just your left leg.
You’re having trouble remembering simple words like…
You’re a walking storeroom of facts – you’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Everything either dries up or leaks.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a wonderful Wednesday people,

and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
——————————————————————————————————————————–
DAILY QUOTES...
I do not want the peace which passeth understanding, I want the understanding
which bringeth peace. – Helen Keller

People seldom do what they believe in, they do what is convenient,
and then repent. – Bob Dylan

Is life worth living? It all depends on the liver. – William James

The wise man has long ears and a short tongue. – Anonymous.

Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. – Jimi Hendrix

Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend. – Unknown, but often attributed to Albert Camus

The secret of a good life is to have the right loyalties and hold them in
the right scale of values. – Norman Thomas

Democracy is the process by which people choose the man who’ll get the blame. – Bertrand Russell

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not
sure about the former. – Albert Einstein

 ————————————————————————————————————————————
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A job applicant was asked, “What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?” 
“Well,” he began, “my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality–sometimes I have a 
little trouble telling what’s real from what’s not.” “Okay,” said the interviewer. “And what are your strengths?”
“I’m Batman.” 😐

————————————————————————————————————————————-

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
David- ‘YES!’
Ruby Rhod- ‘AAAAH! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT YOU SCREAMIN’ FOR?! EVERY FIVE MINUTES
THERE’S SOMETHING A BOMB OR SOMETHIN! I’M LEAVIN! Bzzzzzz!’

ANSWER: The Fifth Element!
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘I like them French Fried potaters.’
————————————————————————————————————————————–
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

5 + 5 + 5 = 550

Add ONE STRAIGHT LINE to the above to make the sum correct.

ANSWER: 5 4 5 + 5 = 550

Add a straight line to the first “+” to make it a “4”.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Find the two six letter words that are combined in each row of letters. Their letters are in the correct order.

1. JSOYOMFUBELR
2. SCDUARWDRLYE
3. DASNAGEFERTY
4. CLULOOTSCEHN
5. USENEARSEYNE

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s