Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday February 15, 2018.   
Thoughts on Aging…..
You enjoy watching the washer and dryer in action.
You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.
Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you’re barefoot.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
You’re cautioned to “slow down” – not by the police but by your doctor!
You are getting a little action today – but that means the fiber is working.
You think “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
You think an “all-nighter” is not having to get up to pee.
A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door. 😁
You’re the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.
You’re smiling all the time because you can’t hear a thing anyone is saying.
You’re very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.
You’re aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as cute as yours.
You’re very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).
You’re not grouchy; you just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
You’re wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just your left leg.
You’re having trouble remembering simple words like…
You’re a walking storeroom of facts – you’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Everything either dries up or leaks.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!  Have a wonderful Thursday people,
and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES...
“A new survey reported that 40 percent of people think it’s a good idea to get engaged
on Valentine’s Day. The other 60 percent were men.” -Conan O’Brien
“On Valentine’s Day, Americans spend $367 million on their pets. That seems like a waste. You don’t need to wine and dine your dog. Either way, he’s going to hump your leg.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The trend this year is couples saying they don’t need to get each other anything for Valentine’s Day, because they love each other EVERY day. I think that’s sweet, but to all the guys out there watching, I just want to say it’s a trap!” -Jimmy Fallon
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An elderly couple came back from a wedding one afternoon and were in a pretty romantic mood. While sitting on their loveseat, the elderly woman looked at her companion and said, “I remember when you used to kiss me every chance you had.”
The old man feeling a bit obliged leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.
Then she said, “I also remember when you used to hold my hand at every opportunity.”
The old man again feeling obligated reached over and gently placed his arm around her shoulders.
The elderly woman then stated,” I also remember when you used to nibble on my neck and send chills down my spine.”
This time the old man started to get up off the couch. As he began to walk out of the living room his wife asked, “Was it something I said, where are you going?”
The old man looked at her and replied, “I’m going to the bathroom to get my teeth!”😁😎
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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???
Spike- ‘There’s something wrong with this yogurt.’
William- ‘It’s not yogurt. It’s mayonnaise.’
Spike- ‘Oh, right, there we are then.’
 
ANSWER: Notting Hill!
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Like a glove!’

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Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
What am I?
I will help you with your writing,
Probably through me you will see,
But if you want to ship me,
You’ll put me right inside of me.
I wear many different hats you know,
In construction plus I’m tracing,
I also do work for the board,
Lots of kids use me for a racing.
You can fold me, tear me,
Rip me without using all your might,
But be careful how you touch me,
I may give you my famous bite.
ANSWER: Paper.

I will help you with your writing- You draw on paper
Probably through me you will see- Usually you can see through paper
But if you want to ship me,
You’ll put me right inside of me- An envelope, you put a letter (paper) inside an envelope (paper)
I wear many different hats you know,
In construction plus I’m tracing,
I also do work for the board- Construction Paper,Tracing Paper,Cardboard Paper
Lots of kids use me for a racing- Paper Airplane Race
You can fold me, tear me,
Rip me without using all your might- It’s easy to rip paper
But be careful how you touch me,
I may give you my famous bite- Paper cut
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the sentence below so that the first two words combine to make the third word.
For example, given “The prime minister ____ the meeting, even though the ____ was technically the ____ official,”
you would fill in RAN, KING, and RANKING.
I ___ so ___ to his antics that I am no longer ___ by them.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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