Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday February 7, 2018.    
What were the authors thinking?
The confidence in his smile… that smile that pulled me in like ice cream melting down a cone.
With the broken sob of a candy mugged infant, Brett rolled across the bed into the recently vacated hollow – a depression created by the recently departed Maria.
Gerald began – but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash – to pee.
Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his
mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only
imagine how fast his spaceship was going.
When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case almost immediately, being that the trail of clues led straight to the trainmaster, who had both the locomotive and the Hopi tuna tea.
India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
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in the brain that regulates obesity. They said if it wasn’t for our brains, we would all be thin. That’s why supermodels are so skinny.” –Jay Leno

“I like Medieval Times, but if they wanted to have a real medieval experience,
they would knock out half your teeth and give you food that would give you dysentery.” -Craig Ferguson
“According to the ‘Wall Street Journal’, researchers at Harvard have found an enzyme
in the brain that regulates obesity. They said if it wasn’t for our brains, we would all be thin.  That’s why supermodels are so skinny.” –Jay Leno
“A woman gave birth to a healthy baby boy while she was on board a
Delta flight marking the first time someone flying Delta actually arrived early.” -Jimmy Fallon
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A Minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said, “Today, church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to
help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn
comes to your mind.” The pastor shouted out, “Cross.” Immediately the
congregation started singing in unison, “The Old Rugged Cross.” The Pastor
hollered out, “Grace.” The congregation began to sing, “Amazing Grace,
how sweet the sound.” The Pastor said, “Power.” The congregation sang,
“There is Power in the Blood.” The Pastor said, “Sex.” The congregation fell
into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around
at each other, afraid to say anything. Suddenly, from the back of the church, a frail
little 87 year-old grandmother stood up and, in a tiny quavering voice, began to
sing, “Precious Memories.” 😁😎
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“Come and see the violence inherent in the system!”
ANSWER: The Holy Grail! ‘Monty Python And The Holy Grail’ was released in 1975,
directed by Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones. A Monty Python classic!
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“You’ll never grow old and you’ll never die
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Oxy has returned to the building! *crowd applauds*
Task (once again):
Can you figure out which well known oxymorons these words are?
Ex) Initial facsimile = original copy
1) Urbane defiance
2) Specific possibility
3) Bogus truth
4) Big tiny
5) Gravely comical
ANSWER: 1) Civil Disobedience  2) Definite maybe  3) False fact  4) Jumbo shrimp  5) Seriously funny

Oxy has left the building (at least for now…)
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Surrounded by hills,
I rest on an isle
Known for its castles
And “baggy” music style

I can hide a monster
At least some think
But for what it’s worth
I’m one of nature’s sinks

What am I?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 
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