Thursday, January 25, 2018

ninja_demotivational_by_barbaspwns-d39siem
WELCOME to Thursday, January 25, 2018.                                            
Business one-liners…………
If you cannot fix it, feature it.
If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!
If you cannot measure output, then you measure input.
If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
If you did what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
If you do not care where you are, then you aren’t lost.
If you do not change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Good news for Washington – the government shutdown is over.
The bad news for us – our government is back to work.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into
their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent
said, ‘retirement savings?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, by 2050, the world’s oceans will contain more
plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember:
There’s plenty of trash in the sea.” -Seth Meyers

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

One night at about 3 a.m. my wife was getting up from the toilet to return
to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound
that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her.
She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders.
After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door.
Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart
beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom.
This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg!
That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the
foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side.
The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked
the path from bed to the bathroom. 😁😎

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Michael… I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years, I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to
realize it, and… well, now I’m just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time
but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me
make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn’t it?’
ANSWER: My Best Friend’s Wedding! Julia Roberts chooses an extremely bad time to confess
her love. This comedy costars Rupert Everett, Durmot Mulroney, and Cameron Diaz.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
In what film would you hear the line “Spontaneity has its time and place”?
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Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Eagle-eye Ixolite, the world famous dart player, was at an exhibition match and was showing off to the audience. “I can throw a dart and it will hit the board anywhere I want!” he cried. “Where on the board shall I put my next dart?” he asked the crowd.
A small boy came up to Eagle-Eye and passed him a slip of paper. Eagle-eye, who liked a rebus, took one look at the note, threw his head back and laughed, then threw the dart. Where did it land?  This is what was on the note: Perfume Bottle R.I.P.
ANSWER: It landed in the bullseye. The Rebus said Dead Center or Dead Scenter.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word.
You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Royal ruler -> Relatives; family
2. Musical composition with words -> Offspring
3. Musically produce words with the voice -> Transgression
4. Having ambitious goals -> Fever and pain medicine
5. Bird limb -> To be victorious
6. Long, sharp tooth -> Enthusiastic follower
7. Depending or building on something -> Container for water
8. Moving up and down (in water) -> A threaded spool for sewing

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

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