Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday January 31, 2017.
Confucius Say…… 
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratches rear should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Hourglasses are waste of time.
Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ.
All men eat, but Fu Man Chu.
War doesn’t determine who is right, war determines who is left.
Girl who go camping must beware of evil intent.
If you want pretty nurse, you must be patient.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cathouse.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Modern house without toilet uncanny.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything. – Arabian Proverb
No road is long with good company. – Turkish Proverb
I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. – Jewish Proverb
Shared joy is double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. – Swedish proverb
Failure teaches success. – Japanese Saying
By learning you will teach; by teaching you will understand. – Latin Proverb
A half truth is a whole lie. – Yiddish proverb
The gem cannot be polished without friction,
nor man perfected without trials. – Chinese Proverb
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
My boss, who was out of the office, phoned me today. He asked, “Is everything okay at the office?” I answered, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day, so I haven’t stopped to even take a breath.” My boss then asked, “Can you do me a favor?”
I replied, “Of course. What is it?”He said, “Pick up the pace a little. I’m in the foursome behind you.”😐
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 “That’s not a knife – THIS is a knife!”?
ANSWER: Crocodile Dundee! ‘Crocodile Dundee’ was released in 1986. Paul Hogan
played Mick Dundee, and Linda Kozlowski played Sue Charlton. Mick Dundee says this
(while producing a very large knife) to a man attempting to mug him and Sue.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“There’s no crime in giving yourself over to pleasure”?
————————————————————————————————————————————
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am a wild, untamed beast:
I command respect and awe in most,
and those who regard me as harmless
will most likely find themselves dead by my hand.
Men cannot control me, or hold me behind bars,
But they ride me. However,
They must use caution, for at any moment I can
Rear up, throw them aloft,
and swallow them whole.
Poems have been written to my mighty roar,
And yet children play carelessly beside me.
I am a mighty entity, and one day
I shall rise above the entire Earth.
What am I?
ANSWER: I am naught but the sea.

How, you ask?
Those who do not respect me will surely
Drown in my vast expanse.
I am untamed, and cannot be held behind bars,
For my pounding surf and relentless tides
Wear away all barriers in the end.
Men may ride me, but a
Passing storm or whirlpool might bring low
Even the most able sailor.
Poems have been written of my mighty roar
As my surf pounds against the rocks of the shore,
And yet beaches are a place of relaxation
For children.
I will one day flood the Earth
When the land is worn away to rubble
By my relentless erosion.
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Fill in the answers to the clues by using all the syllables. The number to
be used is in parentheses.
AD AR ECH ISH IST MON O SUG TLE TUR TYP
1. Sweetener (2)
2. Keyboard user (2)
3. Sound reflection (2)
4. Tortoise’s kin (2)
5. Chide (3)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

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WELCOME to Tuesday, January 30, 2018.                                             
More Seasoned one liners…
Got an e-mail today from a “bored housewife 33, looking for some action!” I’ve sent her my ironing, that’ll keep her busy.
They tell you that you’ll lose your mind when you grow older. What they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it very much.
How do you know your old? People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
I always wanted to marry an Archeologist. The older I would get, the more interested she would become!
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.
The older you get, the more you need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake.
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
Transitional age is when during a hot day you don’t know what you want – ice cream or beer.
I’ve reached the age where looking in the mirror is like checking the news. I know there’ll be some new developments I won’t like.
I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.
“Your finest Scotch, please.” “Yes, sir,” the guy at Staples says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.
I don’t care what you think you’re good at, there’s a 7-year-old kid on YouTube doing it better.
The seven ages of man: spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills.
I know I’m getting old… the other day I walked past a cemetery and two guys attacked me with shovels.😁
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“A man broke a Guinness world record by walking barefoot on a
120-foot path of loose Legos. This beats the old record set by
every dad getting up to use the bathroom at night.” -Jimmy Fallon
“In the news yesterday, North Korea suggested that it would like to
reunite with South Korea. I think something’s up because today South
Korea gave North Korea its Netflix password.” -Conan O’Brien
“If you don’t know what it is, the World Economic Forum is an annual
gathering of the super rich. It’s funny how super rich people hang out
together. You don’t see that at other income levels. ‘You make 80 grand
a year? Me too! Well, let’s go do something, take a trip.'” -Jimmy Kimmel
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
To prepare for my daughter’s First Communion, I called the church in the town where
we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate.
We lived there for only a short while, so I didn’t know the clergy well. When the
secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her that I couldn’t remember.
After a brief silence, she said, “Ma’am, I’m talking about the name of the baby’s father.” 😐😏

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“Anticipation of death is worse than death itself”?
ANSWER: Hard To Kill! Directed by Bruce Malmuth, released in 1990 and starring Steven
Seagal and Kelly LeBrock. The above is not a spoken quote. Mason Storm (Steven Seagal)
leaves it as a message for the senator.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“That’s not a knife – THIS is a knife!”?
————————————————————————————————————————————–
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word
into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word,
a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.
IMPASSIVE
_ E _ T _ G _
_ R _ S _
_ P _
ANSWER: 1. VESTIGE  2. PRISM  3. SPA
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am a wild, untamed beast:
I command respect and awe in most,
and those who regard me as harmless
will most likely find themselves dead by my hand.
Men cannot control me, or hold me behind bars,
But they ride me. However,
They must use caution, for at any moment I can
Rear up, throw them aloft,
and swallow them whole.
Poems have been written to my mighty roar,
And yet children play carelessly beside me.
I am a mighty entity, and one day
I shall rise above the entire Earth.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

Monday, January 29, 2018

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WELCOME to Monday, January 29, 2018.                                             

Seasoned one liners…
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive… It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
The question isn’t at what age I want to retire, it’s at what income.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday
but never remembers her age.
I grew a beard thinking it would say “Distinguished Gentleman.” Instead, turns out it says, “Senior Discount, Please!”  (Exactly)
At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he’s adopted?
You know when you’re getting older by remembering the past embarrassment of not zipping up your fly but now hoping you remember when to unzip.
Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock.
I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.
I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.
I’m at the age where I have to make a noise when I bend over. It’s the law.
Everyone my age is older than me..
You’re old enough to remember when emojis were called “hieroglyphics.” 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Congrats to Sen. Tammy Duckworth who will become the first U.S. senator to
have a baby while in office! That’s right, she’s having a baby, so at
least we’ve got ONE senator who’ll deliver.” -Jimmy Fallon
“China has banned hip hop from Chinese television, which is bad news for
China’s biggest hip hop star, the Notorious MSG.” -Conan O’Brien
“The Taj Mahal is currently undergoing its first cleaning since its construction
in the 1600s. ‘Maybe we should do that,’ said New York.” -Seth Meyers

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

The banana loaf I was making was in the oven when my 16-year-old came into
the kitchen where the family had gathered.
“That bread smells about done don’t you think, Mom?” he asked.
I told him I had set the timer and it still had five minutes.
A little later he repeated his suggestion. “Mom, I really think that loaf is done.
Maybe you should check it.”
Always quick to come to my defense, my 13-year-old son said, “Eddie, Mom’s
been burning that banana bread for 20 years now. I think she knows when to take it out.” 😐

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Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“Who’d win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?”
ANSWER: Airheads! From the 1994 film ‘Airheads’ directed by Michael Lehmann, starring Brendan Fraser, Adam Sandler and Steve Buscemi. And the answer is – it’s a trick question.  As every self-respecting metal-head knows, Lemmy IS God!
Mondays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Anticipation of death is worse than death itself”?
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Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What common saying is represented by the following?
Thought: $19.95
Idea: $29.95
Speech: $1.95
ANSWER: Talk is cheap.
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser, I have given you a 9-letter word. Your job is to break up this word
into 9 separate letters and place them on the dashes to spell a 7-letter word,
a 5-letter word, and a 3-letter word. You can use each letter only once.
IMPASSIVE
_ E _ T _ G _
_ R _ S _
_ P _
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

Friday, January 26, 2018

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WELCOME to Friday, January 26, 2018.                                             
Funny Wisdom….
If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognise a
mistake when you make it again.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don’t have a leg to stand on.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.
If you dig a hole for someone else, you’ll fall into it. – Hungarian proverb
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.
Indecision is the key to flexibility.  Funny Wisdom
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
You never truly understand something until you can explain it to your grandmother.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
Blessed are the hearts that can bend; they
shall never be broken. – Albert Camus
Either I will find a way, or I will
make one. – Sir P. Sidney
An invasion of armies can be resisted,
but not the invasion of ideas. – Victor Hugo
Before borrowing money from a friend,
decide which you need most. – American Proverb
Be generous with kindly words, especially about
those who are absent. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Do the best you can in every task, no matter how unimportant it may seem at the time.
No one learns more about a problem than the person at the bottom. – Sandra Day O’Connor
If you are able to state a problem, it can be solved. – Edwin H. Land
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood. – Marie Curie
Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am
persecuted whenever I am contradicted. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone
who can do him absolutely no good. – Samuel Johnson
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon
this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.
At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon,
they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.
Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook.
One of the men said to the other, “This is the place!”.
The other replied, “No, it’s not!”.
The first man said, “Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.
To which the other man replied, “Dude, you can’t tell a brook by it’s clover.”😁

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Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
“Spontaneity has its time and place”?
ANSWER: The Sure Thing! ‘The Sure Thing’ was released in 1985 and starred John Cusack as Gib and Daphne Zuniger as Alison. Alison says the above to Gib when he calls her repressed. When he keeps on she shouts “You want spontaneity, I’ll give you spontaneity.” And proceeds to wave the top part of her body out of the car window!
Fridays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“Who’d win in a wrestling match, Lemmy or God?”
————————————————————————————————————————————–
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word.
You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.
1. Royal ruler -> Relatives; family
2. Musical composition with words -> Offspring
3. Musically produce words with the voice -> Transgression
4. Having ambitious goals -> Fever and pain medicine
5. Bird limb -> To be victorious
6. Long, sharp tooth -> Enthusiastic follower
7. Depending or building on something -> Container for water
8. Moving up and down (in water) -> A threaded spool for sewing
ANSWER:

1. King -> Kin
2. Song -> Son
3. Sing -> Sin
4. Aspiring -> Aspirin
5. Wing -> Win
6. Fang -> Fan
7. Basing -> Basin
8. Bobbing -> Bobbin

.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….
What common saying is represented by the following?
Thought: $19.95
Idea: $29.95
Speech: $1.95
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

Thursday, January 25, 2018

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WELCOME to Thursday, January 25, 2018.                                            
Business one-liners…………
If you cannot fix it, feature it.
If you cannot get your work done in a 24-hour day, then work nights!
If you cannot measure output, then you measure input.
If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.
If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.
If you did what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
If you do not care where you are, then you aren’t lost.
If you do not change direction, you are likely to end up where you are headed.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Good news for Washington – the government shutdown is over.
The bad news for us – our government is back to work.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new report found that 20 percent of people over 45 had to dip into
their retirement savings last year. And the other 80 percent
said, ‘retirement savings?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a new report, by 2050, the world’s oceans will contain more
plastic trash than fish. So the next time you get dumped, remember:
There’s plenty of trash in the sea.” -Seth Meyers

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….

One night at about 3 a.m. my wife was getting up from the toilet to return
to bed when she heard a little noise. It was a suspiciously rodent like sound
that seemed to be right in the bathroom with her.
She, of course, froze and listened attentively for any further sign of invaders.
After a moment, satisfied that she was alone, she took a step for the door.
Rodent scratchy sounds again! She froze, not breathing. Silence. Her heart
beat fast as she once again tried to retreat from the bathroom.
This time the noise was accompanied by something touching the back of her leg!
That was too much to bear. She literally flew the 8 feet to the bed, clearing the
foot board by a couple feet, to land screaming by my side.
The culprit was right there in plain sight, a trail of toilet paper neatly marked
the path from bed to the bathroom. 😁😎

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Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Michael… I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years, I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to
realize it, and… well, now I’m just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time
but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me
make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn’t it?’
ANSWER: My Best Friend’s Wedding! Julia Roberts chooses an extremely bad time to confess
her love. This comedy costars Rupert Everett, Durmot Mulroney, and Cameron Diaz.
Thursdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
In what film would you hear the line “Spontaneity has its time and place”?
————————————————————————————————————————————-
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Eagle-eye Ixolite, the world famous dart player, was at an exhibition match and was showing off to the audience. “I can throw a dart and it will hit the board anywhere I want!” he cried. “Where on the board shall I put my next dart?” he asked the crowd.
A small boy came up to Eagle-Eye and passed him a slip of paper. Eagle-eye, who liked a rebus, took one look at the note, threw his head back and laughed, then threw the dart. Where did it land?  This is what was on the note: Perfume Bottle R.I.P.
ANSWER: It landed in the bullseye. The Rebus said Dead Center or Dead Scenter.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
When you curtail a word, you remove the last letter and still have a valid word.
You will be given clues for the two words, longer word first.
Example: Begin -> Heavenly body
Answer: The words are Start and Star.

1. Royal ruler -> Relatives; family
2. Musical composition with words -> Offspring
3. Musically produce words with the voice -> Transgression
4. Having ambitious goals -> Fever and pain medicine
5. Bird limb -> To be victorious
6. Long, sharp tooth -> Enthusiastic follower
7. Depending or building on something -> Container for water
8. Moving up and down (in water) -> A threaded spool for sewing

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

Wednesday, January 24,,, 2018

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WELCOME to Wednesday, January 24, 2018.                                           
Funny News Headlines… 
Something Went Wrong in Plane Crash, Expert Says
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!
Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Miner Refuses to Work after Death
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
New Study of Obesity Looks for larger test group
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Wednesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” —Dr. Seuss
“Keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground.” —Theodore Roosevelt
“The only person you should try to be better than is the person
you were yesterday.” —Anonymous
 “Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made
a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself.” —Harvey Fierstein
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” —Eleanor Roosevelt
“The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd.
The woman who walks alone is likely to find herself in places no one has been before.”
—Albert Einstein

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
An angel appears at a meeting of religious leaders and tells their leader that
in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, God will reward him
with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.
Without hesitating, the leader selects infinite wisdom.
‘Done!’ says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the leader, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.
One of the others whispers, ‘Say something.’
The leader sighs and says, ‘I should have taken the money.’😐
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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘It’s only love. What’s everyone so scared of?’
ANSWER: Get Real! Ben Silverstone’s character says this in the classic British coming-of-age story.
Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Michael… I love you. I’ve loved you for nine years, I’ve just been too arrogant and scared to realize it, and… well, now I’m just scared. So, I realize this comes at a very inopportune time but I really have this gigantic favor to ask of you. Choose me. Marry me. Let me
make you happy. Oh, that sounds like three favors, doesn’t it?’
————————————————————————————————————————————–
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a thin flat piece cut from something & to unite two pieces by connecting the ends together (5 letters)
2) the total admission receipts for an event & a striped or clouded quartz (4 letters)
3) to bury & to confine or impound (5 letters)
4) blemish or imperfection & to turn aside (6 letters)
ANSWER: 1) slice & splice  2) gate & agate  3) inter & intern  4) defect & deflect
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Eagle-eye Ixolite, the world famous dart player, was at an exhibition match and was showing off to the audience.
“I can throw a dart and it will hit the board anywhere I want!” he cried. “Where on the board shall I put my next dart?” he asked the crowd.
A small boy came up to Eagle-Eye and passed him a slip of paper. Eagle-eye, who liked a rebus,
took one look at the note, threw his head back and laughed, then threw the dart. Where did it land?
This is what was on the note:
Perfume Bottle R.I.P.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

 

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

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WELCOME to Tuesday, January 23, 2018. 
EVEN More Funny Book Titles…

Hair Disorders by Dan Druff
Will He Win? by Betty Wont
Return of the Prodigal by Greta Sonne
A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand
Pain and Sorry by Anne Guish
Garden Water Features by Lily Pond
Crossing Roads Safely by Luke Bothways
Sunday Service by Neil Downe
The Laser Weapon by Ray Gunn
Fade Away by Peter Out
The Worst Journey in the World by Helen Back😁
Out for the Count by Esau Stars
The Strongman by Everhard Muscles
The Best Day Ever by Trudy Light
Kung Fu for Beginners by Flora Mugga
Are You a Millionaire? by Jonah Lott
Pig Breeding by Lena Bacon
Who Shot JR? by Hugh Dunnit
Kidnapped! by Caesar Quick
The Haunted Room by Hugo First
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!
Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES…
“Two new ax-throwing bars will open in Boston this year. Boston is getting
a new bar where people can try ax-throwing. So far, all the customers
give it one-and-a-half thumbs up.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A Florida man has been arrested for stealing a $1,500 dog from a pet store
and trading it for crack. On the plus side, we finally have an answer to the
question: How much is that doggie in the window?” -Seth Meyers
“Professional race car driver Danica Patrick is dating again, after breaking
up with her previous boyfriend, a NASCAR driver. When asked why that relationship
didn’t work out, Patrick explained, ‘We were just going in circles.'” -Conan O’Brien 😐

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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
We had been up in the attic together doing some cleaning. The kids uncovered an
old manual typewriter and asked, “Hey Mom…what’s this?”
“Oh, that’s an old typewriter,” she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity.
“Well what does it do?” they asked.
“I’ll show you,” she said and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper
into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page.
“WOW!” they exclaimed, “that’s really cool…but how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?”
“There is no plug,” she answered. “It doesn’t need a plug.”
“Then where do you put the batteries?” they persisted.
“It doesn’t need batteries either.” she continued.
“Wow! This is so cool!” they exclaimed. “Someone should have invented this a long time ago!” 😐😱

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Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Me? I’m scared of everything! I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you!’
ANSWER: Dirty Dancing! Baby’s emotional response when Johnny comments that she’s not scared of anything.
Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘It’s only love. What’s everyone so scared of?’
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Monday’s Quizzler is……….
(Estimate/Never)^(+Thinking) – 2
ANSWER: Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. “Never” is under “estimate”, and this is
raised “to the power of positive thinking.” The “to” is removed by subtracting it at the end.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
Each pair of definitions is for two words, where the second word is the first word with an extra letter added somewhere (example: band & brand). The length of the short word in each pair is provided.
1) a thin flat piece cut from something & to unite two pieces by connecting the ends together (5 letters)
2) the total admission receipts for an event & a striped or clouded quartz (4 letters)
3) to bury & to confine or impound (5 letters)
4) blemish or imperfection & to turn aside (6 letters)
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAY’S Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/