Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, November 29, 2017.                          
Here’s the story….In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?” And Abraham did look at her – as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load – but simply said, “How, dear?”
And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures: Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
But this success did arouse envy. A man named Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abraham’s drum and began to siphon off some of Abraham’s business. But he was soon discovered, arrested and prosecuted for insider trading. And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drum heads and drumsticks.
Lo, Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others!” And as Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known, he said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.” And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.” “YAHOO,” said Abraham. And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
And that is how it all began. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
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DAILY QUOTES… 

“A couple recently got married on a roller coaster at a Massachusetts amusement
park while their wedding guests were on the ride with them. And this
is cool – the reception was open barf.” -Seth Meyers
“A new article states that millennials have terrible conversational skills. When
asked for comment, millennials texted a series of crying frowny faces.” -Conan O’Brien
“More people have died taking selfies than have been killed by sharks. My policy
is, you should treat selfies like you treat drinking. Try not to do it alone, definitely
don’t do it while you’re driving, and if you take more than two or three a day,
you should probably seek help.” -James Corden
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G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing
at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: “There
is no easy way to say this so I’ll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow.
Your husband will die a violent death this year.”
Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic’s lined face, then at the single
flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to
compose herself. She simply had to know.
She met the Tarot reader’s gaze, steadied her voice and asked, “Will I get away with it?” 😐

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Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘I can’t read, you dumb love of my life.’
ANSWER: Evil Roy Slade! Another corker of a movie. I can’t seem to track it down now. 
Wedesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

 ‘You’re money and you don’t even know it.’
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Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
In this teaser your task is to discover words, names and phrases relating to the holiday season.
You are to delete a few letters in each unrelated phrase in order to show the holiday. The remaining letters will be in the right order.
For example:
1. EACH WRIST MASHED
becomes: **CH *RIST MAS***
1. FROGS TRY THEM SO NO WORM CAN (delete 7 letters)
2. CLINT TILED RED HUMMER BODY (delete 7 letters)
3. SPRINT FACE OFF PREFACE (delete 7 letters)
4. THE CREEP WISHES A MENU (delete 7 letters)
ANSWER: 1. FRO – S T – Y THE – S – NO W — M – AN (Frosty the Snowman)

2. – LI -T T – LED R — – UMMER BO – Y (Little Drummer Boy)
3. – PRIN – — CE OF- P – E – ACE (Prince of Peace)
4. TH – – REE – WIS – E – – MEN – (Three Wise Men)

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
My story whispers ancient lore;
The force at times my rings will hide.
I’ve sixty minions, maybe more:
Those unseen, these by my side.
Wand’ring far from glowing light,
Shape-shifting puzzles curious eyes;
Oft my glorious rings shine bright,
While men debate my family’s size.
My aspect seems to wax and wane,
As the force dictates the deed;
My namesake ruled vast fields of grain,
But, legends tell, devoured his seed.
What am I?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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