Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, November 22, 2017.                      
 Ads by the Linguistically Challenged… 
1. Illiterate? Write today for free help.
2. Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere else again.
3. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.
4. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
5. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
6. Stock up and save. Limit: one.
7. Semi-annual After-Christmas sale.
8. 3-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
9. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
10. Dinner special: Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
11. For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
12. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home.
13. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
14. Great dames for sale.
15. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
16. Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
17. Vacation special: have your home exterminated.
18. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.
19. Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
20. For rent: 6-room hated apartment.
21. Man, honest. Will take anything.
22. Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first.
23. Christmas tag sale. Handmade gifts for the hard to find person.
24. Wanted: Hair cutter. Excellent growth potential.
25. Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
26. And now, the Superstore—unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.
27. We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and 
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 

“The good people at Butterball have been running a toll-free hotline for
turkey-cooking tips since 1981. Every year the turkey talk line receives
more than 100,000 phone calls, but sadly, they have not once been able
to save a turkey’s life.” -Stephen Colbert
“For the first time in 32 years, Butterball is adding male staffers to their
Thanksgiving turkey talk line, the phone number you can call if you are
having trouble cooking your turkey. One of the guys just yells questions to
his wife in the other room.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Butterball, the countrys largest turkey producer, says it has a shortage of
large Thanksgiving turkeys this year. Some experts say it’s because of a
greater demand than usual, while others say it means
the turkeys are on to us.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?”
“Certainly not,” said the Priest. “As penance, you must return it to the one from whom you stole it.”
“I tried,” Brian sobbed, “but he refused. Oh, Father, what should I do?”
“If what you say is true, then it is all right for you to keep it for your family.”
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to his residence. When he walked
into the kitchen, he found that someone had stolen his turkey. 😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“No, no, no, no. I’m a busy girl. I’ve got exactly four days to break up a wedding,
steal the bride’s fella and I haven’t one clue how to do it.”
ANSWER: My Best Friend’s Wedding! Julianne says this to George when he suggests
that they go get a drink and she take a later flight. In “My Best Friend’s Wedding”
Julianne finds out that her best friend is engaged to be married, and realizes that she
loves him herself. She sets out to get him, with only days before the wedding. 

 

Wednesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

‘No time for love, Dr. Jones!’
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
I am a set of three words, all with the same four letters.
First I am a type of carriage.
Then switch my middle letters, and I am a cover often useful on a diamond.
Now switch my end letters …
When you see me, you also see hair.
What are the words?
ANSWER: trap = a light one-horse carriage

tarp = a canvas cover, one use is to protect a baseball diamond from rain
part = the line that divides hair, as when combing

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
Rearrange the letters to form new words, phrases, places, or names.
The words in parentheses are hints.
ONE ON ALP (conqueror)
SEEK A PHRASE (playful fellow)
KNEE CRUTCH ART (great ballet)
NONE MISTER (soup)
TOXIC NAME (April agony)
HE BUGS GORE
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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