Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

AAnrNfW
WELCOME to Tuesday, November 13, 2017.                      
E-Definitions…
Acre n. Someone that aches
Afterdraft n. Life following conscription
Atomize v. To transform from a male cat to a female.
Carnation n. Country where each citizen owns an automobile
Childhood n. Cowl for an infant.
Colander n. Someone who arrives with you on the same plane.
Coroner n. A round corner
Cytology n. The study of real estate.
Diode n. A pair of two long poems.
Emotion n. Electron movement (also e-motion).
Evening n. The first Chinese woman God created.
Exercise n. Her former body measurements.
Immediate v. To refrain from mediating.
Liquor n. How a male animal cleans his mate.
Manometer n. An instrument for detecting disguised males in a group of females.
Maritime n. Hour of a wedding.
Nitrate n. The price after sundown.
Season n. Male offspring of Poseidon.
Syntax n. Tariff on immorality.
Tautology n. A riveting, gripping study.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday 
people and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES… 

“The salad dressing company Hidden Valley is now offering actual kegs of ranch dressing. When you buy one of these kegs, the cashier is legally required to put their hand on your shoulder and go, ‘Everything OK, man?'” -James Corden
“Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz recently said that despite rumors, he is not considering
running for president in 2020. He wanted to, but they keep misspelling his name on the banner.” -Seth Meyers
“There’s a lot of talk about how global warming will be a disaster for future generations.
When you think about it, it’s hard to care. What have these future generations ever done for us?” -Jimmy Kimmel

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?”
“It depends,” I replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
“University of Oklahoma,” he yelled back.😐
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 “Hats for bats.”
ANSWER: Major League! Serrano tells Roger Dorn this after he steals one of Dorn’s golf club covers and places it on his bat. “Major League” is about the new owner of the Cleveland Indians who puts together a team of horrible washed-up and rookie players so they’ll lose and she can move the team to sunny Florida. However, after finding out her plan, the team starts winning.

 

Tuesdays Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??  

“We are the United States Government. We don’t do that sort of thing.”
 
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
What does this message say?
G T Y O R J O T E O U I A B G T
ANSWER: “Great Job You Got It”  This type of code is known as a Caesar Box (Julius Caesar was the first to write codes this way.) To decipher the message, simply divide the code into four groups of four (you can also divide them into groups such as 5 groups of 5 or 6 groups of 6 depending on the number of letters in the phrase), and rearrange them vertically like this…

G T Y O
R J O T
E O U I
A B G T
Then you read vertically column by column.

  

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
What is the longest pair of English words that are pronounced exactly the same but share no letter in common?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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