Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

swollenjoints
WELCOME to Friday, August 4, 2017.  
Business one-liners…………..
If the slightest probability for an unpleasant event to happen exists, the event will take place, preferably during a demonstration.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
If there isn’t a law, there will be.
If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of 10 it will.
If there is light at the end of the tunnel…order more tunnel.
If things were left to chance, they would be better.
If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
If we learn by our mistakes, some of us are getting one great education!
If you aim for the stars but only make it to the moon, remember there are people who have not yet made it to the moon.
If you are already in a hole, there is no use to continue digging.
If you are asked to join a parade, don’t march behind the elephants.
If you are coasting, you’re going downhill.
If you are feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.
If you are given two contradictory orders, obey them both.
If you are not the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
If you are running for a short line, it suddenly becomes a long line.
If you are worried about being crazy, don’t be overly concerned. If you were, you would think you were sane.
If you can smile when things go wrong, you must have someone to blame.
If you cannot convince them, confuse them. – Harry S. Truman
If you cannot dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with lies. The DonaldT
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…
Silence is foolish if we are wise, but wise if we are foolish. – Charles Caleb Colton
Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. – Thomas Edison
Sweat is the cologne of accomplishment. – Heywood Hale Brown
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. – Ogden Nash
In politics, sincerity is everything. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made! – Groucho Marx
The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway. – Henry Boye
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Infinity mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders one beer. The second orders half of a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth orders an eighth of a beer. The bartender rolls his eyes and pours two beers and says, “Here, you guys work it out.” 😎

 

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“That Vazzini he can fuss.”
“Fuss, Fuss…I think he like to yell at us.”
“Probably he means no harm”
“He’s really very short on charm.”
“You have a great gift for rhyme.”
“Yes, yes, some of the time.”
“Enough of that!”
“Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?”
“If there are, we all be dead!”
“No more rhymes now, I mean it!”
“Anybody want a peanut?”
ANSWER: The Princess Bride! This has got to be one of the funniest parts of the movie.
This is where Vazzini, Inigo and Fezzik have just kidnapped Princess Buttercup and are sailing away.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 “Let me out, let me out, let me out!” “Let me in, let me in, let me in!”
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
he
now re
ANSWER: He came out of nowhere😎
Friday’s Quizzler is……….    
Unscramble the words below, then take the letters from each word as instructed to form another word that is the answer to this teaser:
SENHA – Take letters 1 & 2
HSAET – Take letters 1 & 5
ZPIRE – Take letters 1 & 3
RYPA – Take letters 1 & 2
Unscramble the letters you collected… what do you get?
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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