Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 31, 2017.            
Thursday’s Pondering……… 
What’s another word for thesaurus?
What would we have called the color orange if it wasn’t a fruit?
After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can’t find himself?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?
Just “before” someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
Laughing stock – cattle with a sense of humor.
You can’t have everything, where would you put it?
Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world’s population.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Today is national dog day. Dogs, as you’re probably aware, were widely
considered to be man’s best friend, until 2007 when the iPhone was invented to replace it.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A new study claims that first grade students are getting three times more homework
than they should be doing. This is coming from the lead researcher, ‘Timmy.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study shows that young adults suffering from insomnia are at higher risk
of a stroke. So, that information should help you finally get some sleep.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car
needing a new fender and some door repairs.  I spent hours doing a perfect job,
but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn’t pleased.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching,
uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.
“The repairs were to the other side,” I noted.😐

  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘I’m the president of the United States and I can do anything I want!’
ANSWER: Where the Buffalo Roam! The character says this as he walks in wearing a Richard Nixon mask.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘I love this mansion though it’s too many windows. . . to open half-way each morning, to close half-way each night.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
In this teaser, your job is to try and discover the car model within each sentence.
The model is hiding in the consecutive letters within a sentence.
Example: This recipe calls for only one onion.
Answer: Neon (oNE ONion)
1. The zookeeper gave the chimp a large banana.
2. The police had the home of the pyromaniac cordoned off.
3. There are galactic areas where our starship has not travelled.
4. Do math majors find people with a nice compass attractive?
5. I once saw a gambler from Mexico roll a seven five times in a row.
 
ANSWER: 1. Impala (chIMP A LArge)  2. Accord (pyromaniAC CORDoned)  3. Regal (aRE GALactic)

4. Passat (comPASS ATtractive)  5.Corolla (MexiCO ROLL A)

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    

What phrase is this?
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TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, August 30, 2017.            
Miscellaneous terms…………..
Arbitrator \ar’-bi-tray-ter\: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Avoidable \uh-voy’-duh-buhl\: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney \buh-lo’-nee\: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette \burn’-a-det\: The act of torching a mortgage.
Burglarize \bur’-gler-ize\: What a crook sees with.
Counterfeiters \kown-ter-fit-ers\: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Eclipse \e-klips’\: What an English barber does for a living.
Eyedropper \i’-drop-ur\: A clumsy ophthalmologist.
Heroes \hee’-rhos\: What a guy in a boat does.
Left Bank \left’ bangk’\: What the robber did when his bag was full of loot.
Misty \mis’-tee\: How golfers create divots.
Paradox \par’-uh-doks\: Two physicians.
Parasites \par’-uh-sites\: What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Pharmacist \farm’-uh-sist\: A helper on the farm.
Polarize \po’-lur-ize\: What penguins see with.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.”
–Benjamin Franklin
“This is like deja vu all over again.”
–Yogi Berra
“It’s all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.”
–Mick Jagger
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make
the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.
When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were carrying
two dead raccoons. “Do you wish to check the raccoons through as luggage?” she asked.
“No, thanks,” replied the vultures. “They’re carrion.” 😐

  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘How can you put a limit on trust?’
ANSWER: Some Kind of Wonderful! Eric Stoltz’s character says this to his father when
he tells him he doesn’t know if can trust him about something, or something to that effect.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘I’m the president of the United States and I can do anything I want!’
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
In the following sentence, fill in the blanks with three words that are the same except for their first letters.
The ___ would ___ ___ with soap than with body wash.
 
ANSWER: The BATHER would RATHER LATHER with soap than with body wash

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….    

In this teaser, your job is to try and discover the car model within each sentence.
The model is hiding in the consecutive letters within a sentence.
Example: This recipe calls for only one onion.
Answer: Neon (oNE ONion)
1. The zookeeper gave the chimp a large banana.
2. The police had the home of the pyromaniac cordoned off.
3. There are galactic areas where our starship has not travelled.
4. Do math majors find people with a nice compass attractive?
5. I once saw a gambler from Mexico roll a seven five times in a row.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, August 29, 2017.           
Even More Pondering…. 
  1. Why do you need a driver’s license to buy liquor when you can’t drink and drive?
2. If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day, how come nothing is free yet?
3. Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
4. Psychics never win the lottery. Why is that?
5. How can two space ships meeting always face the right way up in Sci-Fi movies?
6. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
7. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
8. How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
9. Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
10. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
11. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
12. If you blame someone for your failures, do you credit them for your achievements?
13. If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?
14. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
15. How come everyone’s going so slow if it’s called rush hour?
16. Why is the person who invests all your money called a broker??
17. Why do we chop a tree “down” and then chop it “up”?
18. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
19. Why do we wash BATH TOWELS; aren’t we clean when we use them?
20. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“Police are looking for a woman who stole $3,000 worth of cat-grooming supplies
at an airport baggage carousel. Police describe the suspect as ‘single.'” -Seth Meyers
“For a lot of children, the party known as summer is over. Don’t worry, kids. School will end eventually and then you’ll get to go to a different kind of school called work, and it only ends when you get old and die.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“In Saudi Arabia, a 14-year-old boy was detained for dancing to the Macarena. You know, I don’t say this often but I’m going to side with the Saudi government on this one.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
At the end of my factory shift, I was asked to purchase some supplies. The machines’ conveyor belts needed talcum powder to prevent them from sticking, and we had run out of aspirin for workers with noise-induced tension headaches.
I drove to the nearest store and loaded a shopping cart with four cases of baby powder and several boxes of aspirin. As the man behind me in the checkout line peered at my purchases, he laughed and exclaimed, “Must be one heck of a baby!”😎

  

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Life is like a record. . . it goes around and around.’
ANSWER: Empire Records! This is said at the end of the movie during the credits.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘How can you put a limit on trust?’
Monday’s Quizzler is……….   
I can help you have some fun,
Sometimes I get stronger from the sun.
If you never give me a break,
You will find I may never again wake.
I am optimistic on one side,
I can be short, fat, tall, or wide.
Rectangle, cylinder are just a couple of my shapes,
And maybe I can even help you make some videotapes.
Sometimes you have to wait long for me to get ready,
Just hold on for a few hours and be steady.
I can help you get around to the market or mall,
and even help you make a call.
What am I?😎
 
ANSWER: A battery.

Explanation:
1. Batteries are found in many gaming systems and other devices that can be used to have fun. Some batteries are charged using solar energy.
2. This is referring to when you use a battery for a long time and don’t turn it off, its power may begin to drain.
3. This is referring to the fact that one side of a battery is positive thus optimistic. A battery can come in many sizes.
4. Rectangle and cylinder are just 2 shapes among many that a battery can come in. Batteries can be found in video cameras which help make videotapes.
5. Some batteries take long periods of time to charge so you need to be patient.
6. Cars use batteries which can help you get to different places. Batteries can be found in phones which are used to make calls.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….    

In the following sentence, fill in the blanks with three words that are the same except for their first letters.
The ___ would ___ ___ with soap than with body wash.

TODAY’S QUIZZLER OF THE DAY GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD, SUPER SOLVING KIM! 🙌🙏🙌🙏🙌🙇

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday, August 28, 2017.           
More Pondering….. 
  1. If practice makes perfect & nobody’s perfect, why practice?
2. Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God….I could be eating a slow learner.
3. What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?
4. Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
5. What does “it” mean in the sentence “What time is it?”?
6. If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
7. Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
8. When someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, can that be considered a hostage situation?
9. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
10. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
11. Why do they call it “common sense” when it’s so rare?
12. Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
13. If you get corn oil by squeezing corn, how do you get baby oil?
14. Why is it that when you transport something by car, it’s called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it’s called cargo?
15. If electricity comes from electrons does it mean morality comes from morons?
16. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
17. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot at them?
20. If God didn’t want us to eat people, why did he make them out of MEAT?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“A Florida man was arrested for throwing potato salad at a nail salon. During his arrest,
he said, ‘I’ve been drinking and taking Xanax. What do you expect me to do?’ Well, not that, although I do sympathize. When I was trying to give up carbs, I once threw a bowl of spaghetti at a karate studio.” -James Corden
“A New Jersey restaurant is offering a special menu this month that doesn’t list prices,
but instead asks customers to pay what they think is fair. According to the sign in the window, the restaurant is called ‘This Space for Rent.'” -Seth Meyers
“China just installed new public bathrooms in Beijing that actually offer Wi-Fi. Yeah, a
Wi-Fi-enabled bathroom. Or as we call that here in America, Starbucks.'” -Jimmy Fallon

 

 
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
I deliver pizza to help cover my college tuition. Once I called on customers who sent their seven-year-old son to pay me. As he approached the screen door, I noticed he was carrying a check in one hand and two dollars in the other, which I assumed was my tip.
To my dismay, he pocketed the bills before handing me the check, which was for the exact cost of the pizza.
“Could that have been a tip?” I asked, trying not to sound accusatory.
“Yep,” he replied proudly. “not bad for just a walk from the living room and back!”😐

  

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
  ‘I’m the Milky Way Man and I know everything!’
ANSWER: Addicted to Love! Matthew Broderick’s character said this to his ex-girl’s
new french boyfriend about how he knew what was going on. 
 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘Life is like a record. . . it goes around and around.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….   
Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).
1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.
 
ANSWER: 1) sea + son = season  2) ant + elope = antelope  3) pen + chant = penchant  4) cast + rate = castrate 
 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….    

I can help you have some fun,
Sometimes I get stronger from the sun.
If you never give me a break,
You will find I may never again wake.
I am optimistic on one side,
I can be short, fat, tall, or wide.
Rectangle, cylinder are just a couple of my shapes,
And maybe I can even help you make some videotapes.
Sometimes you have to wait long for me to get ready,
Just hold on for a few hours and be steady.
I can help you get around to the market or mall,
and even help you make a call.
What am I?😎

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday, August 25, 2017.           
Southern medical terminology 2……

  1. Colic – A sheep dog.
2. Catscan – Searching for Kitty.
3. D&C – Where Washington is.
4. Coma – A punctuation mark.
5. Cesarean Section – A neighborhood in Rome.
6. G.I.Series – World Series of military baseball.
7. Recovery Room – Place to do upholstery.
8. Fester – Quicker than someone else.
9. Post Operative – A letter carrier.
10. Bacteria – Back door to cafeteria
11. Outpatient – A person who has fainted.
12. Fibula – A small lie. 
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
House Guarded By Shotgun 3 Days A Week. Guess Which Days.
if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
I don’t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
“One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.” -Donald Trump”😐

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
Mr. and Mrs. Brown had two sons. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two boys decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for his brother behind garbage cans and bushes. Then he started looking in and under cars until a police man approached him and asked, “What are you doing?” “Playing a game,” the boy replied. “What is your name?” the officer questioned. “Mind Your Own Business.” Furious the policeman inquired, “Are you looking for trouble?!” The boy replied, “Why, yes.”😎

  

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘That bowling ball said ‘hoof’ to that darn windshield!’
ANSWER: Dazed and Confused! This was said after Mitch threw the bowling ball out of the car.
 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘I’m the Milky Way Man and I know everything!’
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
After some relaxing, the Seekers of Knowledge received a gift from an anonymous person. The gift was a magical scroll case that had 12 gemstones on it. The Seekers were a bit shocked at the elegance of the scroll case as they knew it was very expensive.
There was a catch with it. They had no idea how to open it. As they looked over the scroll case with amazement, suddenly a magic mouth appeared before them and said, “The code to open this scroll case is hidden within the stones; you must press each stone in the proper order to open it.” The magic faded out.
The stones are in this order on the scroll case: Turquoise, Diamond, Opal, Aquamarine, Topaz, Emerald, Moonstone, Garnet, Sapphire, Amethyst, Ruby, Peridot.
 
ANSWER: After some thought, they knew how to open the scroll case. They pressed the stones in this order: Garnet, Amethyst, Aquamarine, Diamond, Emerald, Moonstone, Ruby, Peridot, Sapphire, Opal, Topaz, Turquoise. They are all birthstones, and in the order of the months: January, February, March and so on.

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….    

Each statement describes two words that when fused together create a new unrelated word (not a compound word). The clues do not necessarily indicate in which order the two words are attached. Example: This is the oldness of a tablet (pill + age = pillage).
1) This is a child of the ocean.
2) This is when an insect runs away to get married.
3) This is the monotone melody of a writing instrument.
4) This is the charge for setting a fractured bone.

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, August 24, 2017.           
Thursday’s Really Bad Punography….
I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.
What is the name of an Asian pilot who died in a plane crash? Sum Ting Wong.
My mate broke his left arm and left leg, but he was alright.
I found a rock yesterday which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
What do you have to do to have a party in space? You have to Planet.
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer. I said, “No, wait! I can change.”
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
I threw an Asian man down a flight of stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
A book just fell on my head. I’ve only got myshelf to blame.
Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked.
My pencil is gone. It’s pointless though.
What was Forrest Gump’s email password? “1forrest1”
I’m taking part in a stair climbing competition. Guess I better step up my game.
Did you hear about these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how they turn out.
I’ve just written a song about tortillas – actually, it’s more of a rap.
I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.
Q: What did one ocean say to the other ocean? A: Nothing, they just waved.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
“A new study came out that reveals some dangerous side effects from childbirth.
The dangerous side effects women suffer include pelvic injuries, muscle tears, and children.” -Conan O’Brien
“A new poll found that women in America are angrier about current events than men.
And if you want to make them even angrier, just tell them they seem angry.” -Jimmy Fallon
“The jackpot is up to an enormous sum. Playing the Powerball is a great way to spend
quality time with strangers outside gas stations.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by
the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight’s dinner. I told him I didn’t know how to make soup. He handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.
A couple hours later I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and
tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had
really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.
Instead he said, “This tastes good… are you sure you followed the recipe?”😐

  

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“You know the part in horror movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates him for it? This is it.”
ANSWER: Jeepers Creepers! This was the part where Darry was going to look into the pipe, and his sister Trish didn’t want him to because she thought that he was going to actually go down the pipe. Well, he ended up falling anyway
 
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘That bowling ball said ‘hoof’ to that darn windshield!’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
These seemingly “nonsense” words have pairs of opposites in them. For example:
lshoorntg would be “Long /Short” (LshOorNtG). If you’ve noticed, the letters in the words are always in the same order. Get the idea? Great! Now try these!
1) Wfateirer
2) Grsokuynd
3) Rpoiocrh
4) Frbeoiezle
5) Ppenecinl
6) Wmaomnan
7) Ldaigrhkt
8) Ounvderer
9) Cdilreatny
10) Riwrgohngt
 
ANSWER:

1) Water/Fire: WfATEireR
2) Ground/Sky: GRsOkUyND
3) Rich/Poor: RpoIoCrH
4) Freeze/Boil: FRbEoiEZlE
5) Pen/Pencil: PpENeCInL
6) Woman/Man: WmaOMnAN
7) Light/Dark: LdaIGrHkT
8) Over/Under: OunVdERer
9) Clean/Dirty: CdiLrEAtNy
10) Right/Wrong: RIwrGoHngT

 

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….    

After some relaxing, the Seekers of Knowledge received a gift from an anonymous person. The gift was a magical scroll case that had 12 gemstones on it. The Seekers were a bit shocked at the elegance of the scroll case as they knew it was very expensive.
There was a catch with it. They had no idea how to open it. As they looked over the scroll case with amazement, suddenly a magic mouth appeared before them and said, “The code to open this scroll case is hidden within the stones; you must press each stone in the proper order to open it.” The magic faded out.
The stones are in this order on the scroll case: Turquoise, Diamond, Opal, Aquamarine, Topaz, Emerald, Moonstone, Garnet, Sapphire, Amethyst, Ruby, Peridot.

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORKS BANKS! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙇

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Wednesday, August 23, 2017.          

Funny Headlines……….. 

1. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
 2. Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
 3. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
 4. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
 5. Tiger Woods plays with own balls, Nike says
 6. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
 7. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
 8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
 9. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13. Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16. Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18. If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES…
1. Any idiot can face a crisis – its the day to day living that wears you out.
2. Everything has been figured out. Except how to live.
3. Life is like a coin. You can spend it anyway you wish, but you can spend it only once.
4. Be nice to people on your way up, because you will need them on your way down.
5. Hope life is not a big joke, because I do not get it.
6. Life is like a taxi, the meter just keeps ticking whether you are getting somewhere or standing still.
7. Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment
8. Life isn’t worth living unless you’re willing to take some big chances and go for broke
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 
A child asked his father, “How were people born?” So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.” The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.” The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!” His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”😎

  

Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“‘To see your world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wild flower. To hold infinity in
the palm of your hand, an eternity in an hour.’ William Blake.”
ANSWER: Lara Croft: Tomb Raider! This is one of Lara’s quotes that she repeats throughout the movie. The effects in this movie were pretty good. If you haven’t seen the movie, or played the game, I’d suggest seeing it for (if nothing else) the effects.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“You know the part in horror movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates him for it? This is it.”
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
Which letter comes next in the series?
S, M, H, D, W, M, ?
Pick from:
L
V
Y
T
D
ANSWER: Y  Second  Minute  Hour  Day  Week  Month  Year  
 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….    

These seemingly “nonsense” words have pairs of opposites in them. For example:
lshoorntg would be “Long /Short” (LshOorNtG). If you’ve noticed, the letters in the words are always in the same order. Get the idea? Great! Now try these!
1) Wfateirer
2) Grsokuynd
3) Rpoiocrh
4) Frbeoiezle
5) Ppenecinl
6) Wmaomnan
7) Ldaigrhkt
8) Ounvderer
9) Cdilreatny
10) Riwrgohngt

 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/