Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, July 13, 2017.                          
Worst Country-Western Songs #3(Really more..plus these are real song titles.)
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
The Last Word In Lonesome Is “Me”
Do You Love As Good As You Look
Who’s Makin’ Time with the Time Keeper’s Daughter, when the Time Keeper’s Keepin’ Time?
When We Get Back To the Farm (That’s When We Really Go To Town)
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I’ll Think You’re Walking In
All I Want From You is Away
My Shoes Keep Walkin’ Back to You
You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
And There was Grandma, Swingin’ on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On😐
How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?
I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You
Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
He’s Been Drunk Since His Wife’s Gone Punk
You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You’re Going Against the Grain
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Thank God And Greyhound She’s Gone
Don’t Chop Any Wood, Mother, I’m Comin’ in With a Load
If You Don’t Leave Me Alone I’ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
I’ve Got The Hungries For Your Love And I’m Waiting In Your Welfare Line
Bubba Shot the Jukebox
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.
Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
She Offered Her Honor, He Honored Her Offer, and All Through the Night it Was Honor and Offer
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
Thanks To the Cathouse, I’m In The Doghouse With You
How Can A Whiskey That’s 6 Years Old Whup A Man That’s 33?
They May Put Me In Prison But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES…
“A college student in Pennsylvania is suing her school for the C+ she got in a class.
She said, ‘I’m suing whoever’s responsible for this!’ And her professor said, ‘Don’t you mean WHOMEVER?'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A recent report shows that pot smokers get into fewer car crashers than drunk people.
Then again, it’s easier to see what is coming when you’re driving at 11 miles-an-hour.” -Conan O’Brien
“A restaurant here in New York has started selling a so-called ‘New Yorker milkshake’
which comes topped with whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake. Which means the
next topping you’ll get is a coffin lid.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
The party’s host paid me a great compliment. “You are a good-looking woman,
” he said. “Honest–I’ve had only one beer.” My glow was only slightly dimmed
when my husband interjected, “Imagine how great she’ll look after two.”😐😱
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
“Weeping willow with your tears running down / why do you always weep and frown?
/ Is it because he left you one day? / Is it because he could not stay?”
ANSWER: My Girl! Starring Anna Chlumsky (Vada), Macauley Culkin (Thomas J),
and Dan Aykroyd (Harry Sultenfuss). Vada writes this poem about Thomas J’s death
and recites it in her English class.
                   
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
“There’s no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you’ll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?”
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
It was Louis Ixolite’s bedtime and as usual he wanted a bedtime story.
He was a bright young man and had managed to communicate in Rebuses before he could speak.
Daddy asked Louis which story he would like to hear and Louis scribbled down the following Rebus in crayon.
Soybeans “blah blah blah”
Jack “blah blah blah”
Kidneybeans “blah blah blah”
What story did Louis want to hear?
ANSWER: Jack and the Beanstalk. Jack and the beans talk.
 

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
Find a rhyme for each word below so you end up with a familiar three-word phrase in the form “__, __, and __”.
Example:
Clue = “Cook, Wine, Drinker”
Answer = “Hook, Line, and Sinker”
1. Shop, Swap, Dole
2. Mop, Slip, Thump
3. Mud, Wet, Smears
4. Sock, Rock, Carol
5. Claim, Debt, Scratch
6. Steady, Filling, Label
7. Warning, Soon, Flight
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT PURE GENIUS’S MS. ANDREA L. BANKS AND MS. KIM HILLYARD! NICE WORK LADIES🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇🙌😎
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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