Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, June 20, 2017.                      
Worst Country-Western Songs (Part 2) 
Touch Me With More Than Your Hands
The Last Word In Lonesome Is “Me”
Do You Love As Good As You Look
I’ll Marry You Tomorrow But Let’s Honeymoon Tonight
Who’s Makin’ Time with the Time Keeper’s Daughter, when the Time Keeper’s Keepin’ Time?
When We Get Back To the Farm (That’s When We Really Go To Town)
Walk Out Backwards Slowly So I’ll Think You’re Walking In
All I Want From You is Away
My Shoes Keep Walkin’ Back to You
You Stuck My Heart In a Old Tin Can and Shot It Off a Log
And There was Grandma, Swingin’ on the Outhouse Door, Without a Shirt On
How Can I Miss You When You Won’t Go Away?
I’d Rather Pass a Kidney Stone than Another Night With You
Why Do You Believe Me When I Tell You That I Love You When You Know I’ve Been A Liar All My Life?
He’s Been Drunk Since His Wife’s Gone Punk
You’re the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
I Keep Forgettin’ I Forgot About You
She Got The Gold Mine and I Got The Shaft
Come Out of the Wheatfield Nelly, You’re Going Against the Grain
My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life
Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life
Thank God And Greyhound She’s Gone
Don’t Chop Any Wood, Mother, I’m Comin’ in With a Load
If You Don’t Leave Me Alone I’ll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will
She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
I’ve Got The Hungries For Your Love And I’m Waiting In Your Welfare Line
Bubba Shot the Jukebox
I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me.
Four on the Floor and a Fifth Under the Seat
Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In Bed
My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart
How Can A Whiskey That’s 6 Years Old Whup A Man That’s 33?
They May Put Me In Prison But They Can’t Stop My Face From Breaking Out
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“A new study says that children are suffering bad health effects from eating too much pizza.
The study was explained in a pie chart which children immediately tried to eat.” -Conan O’Brien
“A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-flavored martini. Or as parents put it,
‘Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may
have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after
having so much trouble using regular silverware.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Now that I am a senior (citizen, that is) I have everything that I ever wanted as a teenager, only 50 years later.
– I don’t have to go to school or work.
– I get an allowance every month.
– I have my own pad.
– I don’t have a curfew.
– I have a driver’s license and my own car.
– I have ID that gets me into bars and the liquor store.
– The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
– And I don’t have acne.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Some things are true whether you believe in them or not.’
ANSWER: City of Angels! This is the story of Seth (Nicolas Cage), an angel who wanders the
Los Angeles area invisible to humans. As the demise of an individual approaches, he spends time
near them and becomes visible while acting as their traveling companion during their trip to the
great hereafter. His discovery of distraught heart surgeon Maggie (Meg Ryan) inspires him to
forego his immortality and exist on earth with her as a feeling and mortal entity. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Peace, love, dope. Now get the hell out of here.’
 
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
There was a man who went to the mall and he bought 3 pairs of red socks and 3 pairs
of white socks. Another man who already bought 3 pairs of red socks and 3 pairs of white
socks came back to return his 3 pairs of red socks and 3 pairs of white socks. They are both
blind. As they were walking they bumped into each other. All the socks scattered around the
floor, but each pair remained held together by a rubber band. Nobody helped them pick it up
except each other, but in 3 minutes they both put them back altogether. Each man ended up
with the same colors of socks he started with: six red and six white. How is that possible if they are blind?
ANSWER: One man took all the socks and pulled the pairs apart. As he pulled them apart,
he kept one sock for himself and gave the other to the other man so that each man ended
up with the same colors of socks he started with: six red and six white.

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
I wear the face of a leader of men. My financial worth is small and my
appearance not impressive, yet my presence is a passport to any country
and society. I have the entree alike to the boudoir and the armed; I
penetrate to royal palaces and to the far corners of the earth. In my
youth I am bright and fresh looking; later, my face is marred and
disfigured and I am cast aside as nothing; but when I am very old I am eagerly sought,
and a safe refuge is provided for me, where I am exhibited to admiring visitors. What am I?
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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