Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, June 13, 2017.                   
  
Really Bad Literature 101….
The confidence in his smile… that smile that pulled me in like ice cream melting down a cone.
With the broken sob of a candy mugged infant, Brett rolled across the bed into the recently vacated hollow – a depression created by the recently departed Maria.
Gerald began – but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them “permanently” meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash – to pee.
Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.
As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual.
Racing through space at unimaginable speeds, Capt. Dimwell could only imagine how fast his spaceship was going.
When Detective Riggs was called to investigate the theft of a trainload of Native American fish broth concentrate bound for market, he solved the case almost immediately, being that the trail of clues led straight to the trainmaster, who had both the locomotive and the Hopi tuna tea.
India, which hangs like a wet washcloth from the towel rack of Asia, presented itself to Tex as he landed in Delhi (or was it Bombay?), as if it mattered because Tex finally had an idea to make his mark and fortune and that idea was a chain of steak houses to serve the millions and he wondered, as he deplaned down the steep, shiny, steel steps, why no one had thought of it before.
It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn’t find water for our emus soon, it wouldn’t be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation.
AND that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES…    
“At a Walmart in Minnesota, a customer had to tackle a confused deer after it wandered
into the store. The deer is fine and was released back into the wild, which makes this the
happiest possible ending to a story of a deer walking into one of America’s largest suppliers of hunting rifles.” -James Corden
“A new study reveals that the average fast-food chicken nugget is almost 60 percent fat.
The study also says that the average fast-food customer is almost 60 percent chicken nuggets.” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a new report, there is a shrine in Japan solely dedicated to hemorrhoids.
Seating is limited, but usually available.” -Seth Meyers😁
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My Dad and I were talking the other night about love and marriage. He told me that he knew
as early as their wedding what marriage to my Mom would be like.
The way he tells it, the minister asked my Mom, “Do you take this man to be your husband.” And she said, “I do.”
Then the minister asked my Dad, “Do you take this woman to be your wife,” and my Mom said, “He does.”😎
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Do you take plastic?’ ‘Not unless it’s wrapped around a stack of cash.’
ANSWER: Doc Hollywood! The butcher says this when Michael J Fox tries to reclaim his pig. 
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘Did you know that by mixing equal parts of gasoline and frozen orange juice concentrate you can make napalm?’
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
W+H+E+R+E
ROYGBIV
ANSWER: Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

sum where [over] the mnemonic device for the colors of the spectrum (the rainbow) 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
Each group of three definitions describes three words that are spelled the same, except for one letter (each group describes a different set of words). Example: king, ring, wing.
1a) to wriggle
1b) a member of the British gentry
1c) a small forcible stream of liquid
2a) this color is a blend of red and yellow darkened by black
2b) the top of the head
2c) to cover with water
3a) more recent
3b) rubbish
3c) a written communication
4a) very common color
4b) a high-pitched plaintive cry
4c) although
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌😎🙇🙇😎🙌🙌🙌
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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