Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, June 8, 2017.                
Thoughts on Aging 101……
Your sweetie says, “Let’s go upstairs and make whoopee” and you answer “Pick one, I can’t do both!”
You enjoy watching the washer and dryer in action.  
You stop lying about your age and you start bragging about it.
Your friends compliment you on your alligator shoes, but you’re barefoot.
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.
You’re cautioned to “slow down” – not by the police but by your doctor!
You are getting a little action today – but that means the fiber is working.
You think “getting lucky” means you find your car in the parking lot.
You think an “all-nighter” is not having to get up to pee.
A sexy woman walks by and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
You’re the life of the party, even if it lasts until 8 PM.
You’re smiling all the time because you can’t hear a thing anyone is saying.
You’re very good at telling stories over and over and over and over.
You’re aware that other people’s grandchildren are not as cute as yours.
You’re very good at opening childproof caps (with a hammer).
You’re not grouchy; you just don’t like traffic, waiting, crowds, and politicians.
You’re wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that’s just your left leg.
You’re having trouble remembering simple words like…
You’re a walking storeroom of facts – you’ve just lost the key to the storeroom door.
Everything either dries up or leaks.
You realize that aging is not for wimps.
You enjoy watching the news.
The phone rings and you hope it’s not for you.
The only reason you’re still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
People ask what color your hair USED to be.
You’re proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age AND isn’t breaking any laws.
AND that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES…   
“There’s a new report that says more than half of American workers didn’t use all their vacation days last year. They had them, they just didn’t take them. So the people who did the study asked why. Some said they did it to impress their boss with their work ethic. The rest said, I hate my family.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies.” -Conan O’Brien
“According to a new study, the recommendation that people need eight glasses of water per day is a myth. I think we figured that out when we never once drank eight glasses of water and still survived.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Our Supply Clerk at the factory where I work, discovered a box that was left on the loading dock with this warning printed on it: DANGER DO NOT TOUCH!
Management was called and all employees were told to stay clear of the box until it could be analyzed.
When the foreman arrived, he donned gloves and safety glasses, and then, very carefully opened the box. Inside were 250 signs that read: DANGER! DO NOT TOUCH!😐😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Dyin’ ain’t much of a living, boy.’ 
ANSWER: The Outlaw Josey Wales! Josey Wales says this in response to the bounty hunter who just
has to come back in to shoot him. The kid says that everybody has to make a living somehow.
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think about me?’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
Complete the word square by inserting the 9 letters into the grid, to create the same words reading down & across.
D E E L L L O O O
E A C H
A _ _ _
C _ _ _
H _ _ _
ANSWER:

E A C H
A L O E
C O O L
H E L D
Each, Aloe, Cool, Held 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
What is represented with this rebus?
Often
Not
Often
Not
Often

 

 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙇🙇🙇🙇🙌😎
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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