Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday, June 30, 2017.                           
Bumper Stickers #101
For Lease: Navidad
Slow cannibals get the cold shoulder.
Those who can, teach. Those who can’t, pass laws about teaching.
I’m old. There’s a nap for that.
SILENT and LISTEN have the same letters. Is that a coincidence?
Earth without art is just “Eh”.
I brake for Manti Te’o’s girlfriends.
If your child is an honor student could he or she teach you how to use turn signals?
Dyslexics poets write inverse.
How’s my driving? Call 1-800-EAT-S#%7.
Custer got Siouxed.
My car is a status symbol. The symbol of me being poor!
I may be fat, but you’re ugly – and I can diet.
I have PMS and a handgun. Any questions?
JESUS SAVES, he passes to Noah who shoots and SCORES!
Where am I going? And why am I in a handbasket?
JESUS SAVES at Banco de Mexico
My next car is a Bentley*. [* conditions apply]
Insanity: a small price to pay for sheer brilliance!
Heavily medicated for your safety.
Jack is Lord (Honolulu PD)
God loves you, he just has an unusual way of showing it.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. – Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, and to have the two as close together as possible. – George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. – Victor Borge
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. – Mayor (of Washington DC) Marion Barry
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. – Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. – Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. – Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. – Alex Levine
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a 20 dollar bill fell out onto the path.
Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are 20 dollar bills falling out of that bag.” “Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, officer.”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
“Oh, no,” said the old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, I would make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time a guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, ‘O.K., buddy! Give me 20, or off it comes.'”
“Well, that seems only fair,” said the cop, laughing. “OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what’s in the other bag?”
“Not everybody pays.” 😱😎
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I like history too and maybe when this is all over we can visit the souvenir shop together, but right now…I just wanna find some rockets!’
ANSWER: The Rock! 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 “That’s my mother.”
 
 
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 
Hidden below you will find five uncommon titles to five classic novels. Can you decipher them?
1. Vanished with the Tempest
2. Enmity of the Globes
3. Dinky Maidens
4. A Chronicle of a Couple of Municipalities
5. Contention and Conciliation
ANSWER: 1. Gone with the Wind  2. War of the Worlds  3. Little Women  4. Tale of Two Cities  5. War and Peace
Friday’s Quizzler is……….   
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) punched when starting work & discussion about scaling a mountain
2) a container of fibs & a shortage of baked goods
3) hasty vacation & prank gibe
4) a mongoose & artificial precipitation
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙏🙇😎
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, June 29, 2017.                          
More Punagraphy…. 
A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.
Practice safe eating—always use condiments.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
He used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
Sea captains don’t like crew cuts.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
When you dream in color, it’s a pigment of your imagination.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well-red.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
He often broke into a song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. ‘Taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
The man blotting his wet shoes with newspapers, explained, “These are The Times that dry men’s soles.”
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Thursday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“I’ve been trying to say ‘I love you’ more often, starting this morning. I said it to my family before I left the house. And then to my barista. And then to her manager, when the barista complained that one of the customers was making her uncomfortable.” -Stephen Colbert
“According to a recent study, men on dating sites are more popular if they mention dancing or cooking. Because if there’s one thing women love, it’s a man who can lie.” -Seth Meyers
“A man and his 75-year-old mom survived being lifted out of their home during a tornado by sitting together in a bathtub. The man said the tornado didn’t traumatize him but being in a bathtub with his mother did.” -Conan O’Brien
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
There was a poor, distraught man sitting at the bar of his local watering hole, just staring into his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then a big trouble-maker walks through the door; leather biker jacket, neck-beard, tattoos and sunglasses. He sees the poor, lonely man, moping at the bar by himself and decides to have a little fun. Walking up to the bar he reaches over and grabs the guy’s glass and drinks it down in one go.
Immediately the poor man starts crying. The bully says, “Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I just can’t stand to see a man cry.”
“No, it’s not that,” the man replies, wiping his tears. “It’s just that this has been the worst day of my life. First, I oversleep go in late to the office. My boss losses his temper and fires me. When I leave the building to go to my car, I find out it was stolen. The police say they can do nothing. I get a cab to go home, and when I get out, I forget my wallet. The cab driver just drives away. I go inside my house where I find my wife in bed with my neighbor. So I left my home, come to this bar, and just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”😎
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ‘ride’.’
ANSWER:  The Big Lebowski
Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘I like history too and maybe when this is all over we can visit the souvenir shop together, but right now…I just wanna find some rockets!’
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
 Which letter comes next in the following sequence?

S, H, E, R, A, W, E, B, __

ANSWER: B. Why? Each group of three consecutive letters forms a word: she, her, era, raw, awe, web, ebb.
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….   
Hidden below you will find five uncommon titles to five classic novels. Can you decipher them?
1. Vanished with the Tempest
2. Enmity of the Globes
3. Dinky Maidens
4. A Chronicle of a Couple of Municipalities
5. Contention and Conciliation
 
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙏🙇
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

birthday_bingoWELCOME to Wednesday, June 28, 2017.                          
Here’s the story…. 
Quite a number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony under the baton of Milton Katims. Now at this point, you must understand two things:
1. There’s a quite long segment in this symphony where the basses don’t have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page.
2. There used to be a tavern called Dez’s 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians.
It had been decided that during this performance, once the bass players had played their parts in the opening of the symphony, they were to quietly lay down their instruments and leave the stage, rather than sit on their stools looking and feeling dumb for twenty minutes. Well, once they got backstage, someone suggested that they trot across the street and quaff a few brews.
After they had downed the first couple rounds, one said, “Shouldn’t we be getting back? It’d be awfully embarrassing if we were late.”
Another, presumably the one who suggested this excursion in the first place, replied, “Oh, I anticipated we could use a little more time, so I tied a string around the last pages of the conductor’s score. When he gets down to there, Milton’s going to have to slow the tempo way down while he waves the baton with one hand and fumbles with the string with the other.”
So they had another round, and finally returned to the Opera house, a little tipsy by now. However, as they came back on stage, one look at their conductor’s face told them they were in serious trouble. Katims was furious! After all…
It was the bottom of the Ninth,
the basses were loaded,
and the score was tied.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can.”
–Henry David Thoreau
“I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.”
–Thomas Jefferson
“You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take.”
–Wayne Gretzky
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A young man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and going to get married.
He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.
He then says, “Okay, Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The one in the middle.”
“That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
“I don’t like her.” 😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book when shouldn’t it be the other way around?’
ANSWER: You’ve Got Mail! Kathleen Kelly types this in an email to NY152. She is about to close down her bookstore and is searching for the strength to follow a new path.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘This compulsive fornicator is taking my father for the proverbial ‘ride’.’
 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:
1. Matthew [ ] Mason
2. Bruce [ ] Majors
3. Larry [ ] [ ] Fonda
4. Ashley [ ] [ ] Mandela
5. Rick [ ] [ ] [ ] Luther
ANSWER:  1. Matthew Perry Mason
2. Bruce Lee Majors
3. Larry King Henry Fonda
4. Ashley Judd Nelson Mandela
5. Rick James Dean Martin Luther  
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
Which letter comes next in the following sequence?

S, H, E, R, A, W, E, B, __

 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, June 27, 2017.                          
More Punography……
A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went; then it dawned on me.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
I didn’t like my beard at first, but it grew on me.
I dropped out of socialism class because of lousy Marx.
I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.
Why is 10 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
When chemists die, they barium.
Velcro! What a rip off!
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Discovery Channel is promoting its upcoming Shark Week by promising to have Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps race a great white shark. But don’t tell him! It’s a surprise!” -Seth Meyers
“Goodwill has returned almost $100,000 in cash that was mistakenly donated to them in a black duffel bag. A spokesman for Goodwill said, ‘We’re not very bright.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn’t sound too bad to me. You’d probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
Back during the days of the former Soviet Union, a fellow by the name of Gerald Chattington had a friend in the Soviet Embassy by the name of Rudolph Nosov, who would drop by occasionally. One evening, Gerald and his wife, Peg, were sitting in the kitchen chatting when Gerald looked out the window and said, “Look, it’s snowing.” Rudolph looked out and said very quickly, “No, I think it is just rain.” “I’m sure it is snow,” insisted Gerald. “And I am just as sure that it is rain,” said Rudolph. At this point Gerald turned to Peg to settle the argument. Peg looked out the window for a moment, then said, “What can I say? Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear.”😎
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy five the wife can watch.’
ANSWER: Pretty Woman! Kit Deluca says this while waiting at the hotel registration desk.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book when shouldn’t it be the other way around?’
 
 
 
Monday’s Quizzler is………. 
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this: xx-xx-xx
You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.
ANSWER:  The combination is 15-08-16. Thank you for helping Question get his wallet back.
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….   
A Name Train is a puzzle where each name is connected together like box cars in a train. You are given the first car (the Engine) and the last car (the caboose), and you have to fill in the car or cars in between. Every two consecutive cars will form a name of a person or character. Joan [ ] Li. The answer is Joan Jet Li (Joan Jet-Female singer, Jet Li-Actor) Ready? OK here goes:
1. Matthew [ ] Mason
2. Bruce [ ] Majors
3. Larry [ ] [ ] Fonda
4. Ashley [ ] [ ] Mandela
5. Rick [ ] [ ] [ ] Luther
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday, June 26, 2017.                          
Monday’s Punography……
You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen the mall.
Police were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it.
Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien
“Summer officially begins tonight. So if you’re wondering why your kids stopped going to school, that’s probably the reason.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“A company has developed a smart duvet, which can control a person’s body temperature. The way it works is, when you get hot you kick it off.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. A stunned patron then asks the waiter, “What was that all about?” The waiter responded, “That’s just the way pandas are,” and walked away. Well, the patron didn’t know what a panda was, so at home that night he looks up “panda” in the dictionary and what he finds explained everything: “Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves.”😐
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘Let’s look at this from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the space craft that’s good?’
ANSWER: Apollo 13! The flight director says this when it seems all systems have failed. 
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
‘Fifty bucks, Grandpa. For seventy five the wife can watch.’
 
 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is………. 
In this teaser you are to try and discover the quotation concealed in the lines.
The quote has been broken up into two-letter fragments. Furthermore, I have
removed any punctuation and jumbled the two-letter fragments about so the word
order has been disarranged. You have to rearrange the quotation and decide where
the words begin and where they end. Good luck!
he fo ay od if et ve pl on of mu si cb lo
ANSWER: A leader is a dealer in hope. Napoleon Bonaparte
Monday’s Quizzler is……….   
When Question Mark unlocked the door, he thought that he would see his wallet straight away. But Skid Mark (Question’s brother) decided to put the wallet in a safe. The combination is three 2-digit numbers which can be expressed like this:
xx-xx-xx
You are given the following clues to work out the combination:
The total of the three numbers is 39.
The second number is half of the third number.
The first number is the third number minus 1.
Can you find Question’s wallet in time? It’s all up to you.
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday, June 23, 2017.                          
Weekend Thoughts on Aging…..(or U no U old when.) 
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
Your car has four doors.
You routinely check the oil in your car.
You’ve owned clothes so long that they’ve gone back into style – TWICE.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
8 AM is your idea of “sleeping in”.
You don’t remember when you got that mole or the one next to it.
You write thank you notes without being told.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
You answer a question with, “Because I said so!”
Others ask for your recipes.
You start Christmas shopping in August.
You paint your apartment walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
You don’t like to drive after dark.
You say the words, “Turn that music down!”
You wear black socks with sandals.
You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
You point out what buildings used to be where.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
You rake the yard without being told to.
You can’t remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
You and your teeth don’t sleep together.
You try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you aren’t wearing any.
At the breakfast table you hear “snap, crackle, pop” and you’re not eating cereal.
Your back goes out but you stay home.
When you wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful weekend people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
“Father’s Day cards fit into four major categories: golf, fishing, barbecue, beer.
And beer. And beer. And beer. What kind of message is this? ‘Dad, you are a
potbellied drunk and we’re sending you to rehab after you finish mowing the lawn.’
We need to mix it up a little. Either the cards need to change, or we do.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Two Australian farmers recently created a kind of vodka made from carrots. It’s the best
thing that’s ever happened to rabbit bachelorette parties.” -Seth Meyers
“More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos.
Researchers say it’s due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30.” -Jimmy Fallon
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out.
When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.”😐
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
‘I suppose you’ll use this drama to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man who comes to this house.’
ANSWER: The Ref! That Lloyd is one crazy character.
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
  ‘Let’s look at this from a standpoint of status. What do we got on the space craft that’s good?’
 
 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 
What phrase is hidden here?
Genie’s Gift
Skydiving Elvis
ANSWER: Wish upon a falling star. Genie’s Gift = A Wish

Skydiving (falling) Elvis (Star)

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….   
In this teaser you are to try and discover the quotation concealed in the lines.
The quote has been broken up into two-letter fragments. Furthermore, I have
removed any punctuation and jumbled the two-letter fragments about so the word
order has been disarranged. You have to rearrange the quotation and decide where
the words begin and where they end. Good luck!
he fo ay od if et ve pl on of mu si cb lo
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

princess-bride-priest-mawwage-is-what-brings-us-together-today
WELCOME to Wednesday, June 21, 2017.                         
Lyrics Misinterpreted by Kids….. 
* God bless America thru the night with a light from a bulb!
* Oh Susanna, Oh don’t you cry for me, For I come from Alabama with a band-aid on my knee!
* Give us this day our deli bread! Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Whole East Coast.
* We shall come to Joyce’s, bringing in the cheese.
* Gladly, the consecrated, cross-eyed bear.
* He carrots for you.
* Yield Not to Penn Station.
* Dust Around the Throne.
* Praise God From whom all blessings flow, Praise Him all creatures, HERE WE GO
* Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
* While shepherds washed their socks by night.
* He socked me and boxed me with His redeeming glove.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
 
DAILY QUOTES… 
Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse. – Groucho Marx
If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman. – Margaret Thatcher
In China, when you’re one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. – Bill Gates
It is very simple to be happy, but it is very difficult to be simple. – Rabindranath Tagore
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. – Mark Twain
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished. – Leslie Nielsen
Matrimony isn’t a word, it’s a sentence. – Eddie Cantor
Gray hair is God’s graffiti. – Bill Cosby
We must take change by the hand or rest assuredly, change will take us by the throat. – Winston Churchill
Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. – Lily Tomlin
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  
God was talking to one of the angels, and said, “I’ve just created this spinning earth, which creates, in a
24 hour period, alternating light and darkness!” The angel said, “What are you going to do now?”
God said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.” 😎
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???  
 ‘Peace, love, dope. Now get the hell out of here.’
ANSWER: Field of Dreams! Terance Mann says this when Ray is trying to kidnap him and take him to a baseball game.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??
 ‘I suppose you’ll use this drama to have another affair. I feel sorry for the next delivery man who comes to this house.’
 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 
I wear the face of a leader of men. My financial worth is small and my
appearance not impressive, yet my presence is a passport to any country
and society. I have the entree alike to the boudoir and the armed; I
penetrate to royal palaces and to the far corners of the earth. In my
youth I am bright and fresh looking; later, my face is marred and
disfigured and I am cast aside as nothing; but when I am very old I am eagerly sought,
and a safe refuge is provided for me, where I am exhibited to admiring visitors. What am I?
ANSWER: A Postage Stamp
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….   
What phrase is hidden here?
Genie’s Gift
Skydiving Elvis
 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/