Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Tuesday, May 23, 2017.      

Lesson in punctuation…… 
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let me be yours?
Jane
Dear John:
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours, Jane
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…  
“This week, a Toyota Land Cruiser set the record as the world’s fastest SUV after
reaching 230 mph. Apparently somebody was really late to their kid’s soccer game.” -Conan O’Brien

 

“A princess in Japan is giving up her royal status so she can marry a commoner. Which is something she’ll definitely bring up in every single fight she has with her husband.
‘Your friends are coming over for dinner? I gave up being a princess for you!'” -Jimmy Fallon
“A company is selling a jacket with a heating mode and a cooling mode. The way it works is, there’s a zipper.” -Seth Meyers


 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
Bill had been a wild bachelor all his life, but now that he was getting up there in age, his doctor was getting concerned about him.
“Bill,” advised the doctor, “I can add 15 more years to your life if you will just quit your routine of wine, women, and song.”
Bill thought for a few minutes, then said, “Tell you what doc, I’ll settle for five more years and just give up singing.” 😎

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk.’
ANSWER: The Sixth Sense! Right before getting shot, Malcom Crowe (Bruce Willis) is
encountered by one of his former patients, clearly insane, who eventually kills himself right after killing Crowe.
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘In order to be successful, one must project an image of success at all times.’
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
Susan needed to go to the store to buy some ingredients to cook with. She started writing them down:
Butter
Milk
Eggs
Baking Soda
Cashews
Oranges
Vinegar
Lemon Juice
What was Susan making?

ANSWER: A shopping list. 

Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….  
There are over fifty members in my family;
Yet none quarrel. We all live merrily.
Four leaders have we, all with a bride;
Each has a son who has great pride.
We also have servants who make funny gestures;
But they are hardly used, as they often pester.
The peasants are at the bottom of the line;
Although they outnumber us, they haven’t a right mind.
What are we?

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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