Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday, May 22, 2017.     

Oxymorons 101…..
Religious Education
Logical Guess
Good pun
Great Depression
American Cheese
Closet Claustrophobic
Express Mail
Restless Sleep
Clear as Mud
Friendly Fire
First Annual Awards
Hamburger Steak
Assisted Suicide
Diet Muffin
Woman Driver
Fair Fight
Extreme Mediocrity
Women’s Rights
Literal Interpretation
Awful Grate
Conservative Movement
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…  
“Blue Cross is partnering with Lyft to give people rides to the doctor. It costs $600.
The drivers are specially trained, and – it’s just an ambulance.” -Jimmy Fallon

 

“A company has come out with a robot that makes salad. So finally
– a robot that’s not going to take away any American jobs!” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study released today shows that blotting pizza with a napkin to remove
extra grease can remove an average of 40 calories per slice. So if you’re
looking for an easy way to lose weight, just eat that napkin.” -Seth Meyers

 

 

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk. Being
fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a young woman standing next to him smiling.
Noticing the rather distinct bulge she asked, “What do you have in your pocket?”
“Tennis ball,” the man said, smiling back.
“Wow!” said the woman looking upset. “That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was terrible!”😐😎

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

 ‘Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls!?’
ANSWER: Twelve Monkeys! Dr. Kathryn Railly (Madeleine Stowe) starts realizing that maybe James Cole
(Bruce Willis) was right about the end of the world. She goes to Jeffrey’s headquarters and after being denied entrance, she spray paints his building.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘I never told you, but you sound a little like Dr. Seuss when you’re drunk.’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
Can you decipher the following common phrase?
T M C
A U O
H S M
W T E

ANSWER: What goes up must come down. 

MOnday’s Quizzler is……….  
Susan needed to go to the store to buy some ingredients to cook with. She started writing them down:
Butter
Milk
Eggs
Baking Soda
Cashews
Oranges
Vinegar
Lemon Juice
What was Susan making?
 
 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙌🙇🙌🙇 🙏

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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