Friday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Friday, May 19, 2017.    

MORE TRUMPISM (Are these facts true or false?)
To combat global warming, the United States government is suggesting that when Daylight Savings time ends, Americans set the clocks and thermometers back.
90% of the Chuck Norris jokes you see around were written by Chuck Norris. (😎JasonM)
The lead role for the movie “Gandhi” originally was offered to Burt Reynolds.
If you notify the flight attendant that it’s your birthday, most airlines will let you exit the plane on the inflatable slide.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, although the contractor told them it would be.
The Don Corleone role in the movie “The Godfather” originally was going to be played by Andy Dick.
Square bologna (to fit properly on square bread) has failed each time that Oscar Mayer has test-marketed it.
Round bread (to fit properly with round bologna) has succeeded each time it has been test-marketed, but the difficulty and expense in baking a round loaf of bread makes it unprofitable for bakeries.
More Americans choke to death on bathmats than die in auto accidents.
The “UL” designation (popular in the late 20th century, but not widely used now) was purchased by Consumer Reports in 1995.
When eaten, long vegetables (such as carrots, celery, etc.) that have been sliced lengthwise have double the vitamins absorbed by the body.
Although the publisher Scholastic Books expected more, the last Harry Potter book sold only 320 copies on the first day of sales.
Broadway’s Nathan Lane actually lives on Nathan Lane in East Hampton, New York.
Electronics merchant Radio Shack may have to change its name because of a pending lawsuit from Shaquille O’Neal.
Vice President Dick Cheney had electrolysis in 2007 to remove his eyebrows. The ones you see now are tattooed on.
President George W. Bush locked himself out of the Oval Office fifteen times in his presidency.
Mr. T makes his own jewelry.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Friday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…  
Albert Einstein…..
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin – what else does a man need to be happy?
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Before God we are all equally wise – and equally foolish.
One does not make wars less likely by formulating rules of warfare.
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
I want to know God’s thoughts; the rest are details.
If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
I never worry about the future – it comes soon enough.
The only real valuable thing is intuition.
A person starts to live when he can live outside himself.
Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.
I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “Hey buddy, can’t you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!” The man replies, “No, I can’t read the sign – I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the guy is telling his friend about it: “I told him I was blind and I got a free beer!” The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down, and the bartender says, “The sign says no dogs allowed! You’ll have to leave!” The friend says, “Sorry, I can’t see the sign because I’m blind, and this is my seeing eye dog.” The bartender replies, “Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as seeing eye dogs?” The man says, “They gave me a Chihuahua?”

Thursday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

‘We understood that they were not girls but women in disguise.’ (1999)
ANSWER: The Virgin Suicides! In the film ‘The Virgin Suicides’, actor Giovanni Ribisi
narrates to explain how big of an impact the Lisbon sisters made on his life. 
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘Who cares what psychiatrists write on walls!?’
 
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….  
In this teaser, I have given you 4 words. Beside each word is a series of letter groupings. Your task is to find the
answer to the word on the left by choosing one letter from each of the letter groups to the right of each clue.
Example:
Statuette: fro evi gse rpu lor nai ngd rep
Answer:
Fgo evI Gse rpU loR naI Ngd rEp = FIGURINE
Sight: vjj asi tys aai vob mnp
Spectacles: ple byn emn agw dls tar shj bsn cem sff
Artistic: aer sde gts htn mnh gej iot aiu abc
Cheat: dsf tyw aei ern oud lkk ies

ANSWER: Sight: VISION Spectacles: EYEGLASSES Artistic: AESTHETIC  Cheat: SWINDLE

Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
Can you decipher the following common phrase?
T M C
A U O
H S M
W T E
 
 

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! 🙌🙇🙌🙇 

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in MONDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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