Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Monday, May 15, 2017.   

TRUMPISM (Are these real or false facts)
The current version of the popular TV reality show “Survivor” is the first where the contestants have Wi-Fi.
Although nobody uses them anymore, AT&T has contracts with phone book companies already in place.
The phone books are printed, picked up at the printer and directly delivered to a recycling company.
The first Egyptian chariots were powered by sails.
The FBI’s eleventh most wanted fugitive is Lyle Lovett.
Albert Einstein was an avid bodybuilder.
If the Earth was put on a scale, scientists would be puzzled by the presence of that scale.
Winnie the Pooh was originally named “Winnie the Pee”.
The most downloaded song on iTunes in 2013 was “Afternoon Delight” by the Starland Vocal Band.
Citizens in Ohio unsuccessfully tried to start a charitable organization called “The Salvation Coast Guard”.
No death-row inmate has ever asked for tofu as his last meal.
After he was President, Harry S. Truman briefly coached the Boston Celtics.
Queen Elizabeth has seen the movie “Spaceballs” at least twelve times. It’s her favorite movie.
Isaac Newton invented the game Hopscotch.
By law, all globes in Australia are displayed upside down.
In Salt Lake City, Utah, all TGIFriday’s restaurants must close at 6 pm on Friday.
Ben Franklin actually coined the phrase “Live Long and Prosper”.
Isaac Newton invented the game Hopscotch.
Elvis impersonators account for much more annual tax revenue than Elvis ever did.
Although Thursday is historically thought of as being named after the god Thor, it was actually named for his brother Thur.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people and
whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…“In Florida, a 10-year-old girl pried herself from the jaws of an 8-foot alligator. Then the little girl remembered she lives in Florida, and climbed back in.” -Conan O’Brien
“Hey, I saw that today is National Teacher Day! Unless you’re home-schooled.
Then it’s Mother’s Day: Part 1.” -Jimmy Fallon
“On this day in 1960, the FDA approved the world’s first commercially produced birth control pill. And on this day in 1961, the first couple learned what 99.9 percent effective means.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A Swiss guy in New York is looking for directions, so he pulls up at a bus stop where two Americans are waiting.
“Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?” he asks.
The two Americans just stare at him.
“Excusez-moi, parlez vous Francais?” he tries. The two continue to stare.
“Parlare Italiano?” No response.
“Hablan ustedes Espanol?” Still nothing.
The Swiss guy drives off, extremely disgusted. The first American turns to the second and says, “Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language.”
“Why?” says the other. “That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good.” 😐

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 

‘Baptism! You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers!’
ANSWER: O Brother, Where Art Thou? This quote was from ‘O Brother, Where Art Thou?’ after Pete and Delmar get baptised in the river. George Clooney’s character, Ulysses Everett McGill, was the only one not to join them.
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘Look Paul, I gotta go, um, I’m about to make love not war!’
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
What phrase is this?
Left Side…1st Floor…Right Side
Left Side…2nd Floor…Right Side
Left Side…3rd Floor…Right Side
ANSWER: There are always two sides to every story (storey)

Monday’s Quizzler is………. Figure out what the trio in each set have in common. As long as each answer is a six-letter plural word, ending in -s.
Example: Railroad, wild animal, music CD: TRACKS
1) Hunting dog
Compass
Scoreboard
2) Dungeon
Jewelry store
Sequence
3) Fish
Sheet music
Dieters
4) Municipal parking lot
Electric utility
Rhythm in verse
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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