Abdicate: To give up all hope of having a flat stomach.
Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from
the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
Administrivia: All of the annoying little tasks associated with your job.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Aflockalypse: When all those birds fell out of the sky.
Aibohphobia: Fear of palindromes.
Aquadextrous: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
Arachnoleptic fit: The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s.
Aromatic: An automatic crossbow.
Assmosis: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Balderdash: A rapidly receding hairline.
Baloney: Some hemlines fall here.
Barbecue: A line of people waiting for a haircut.
Beauty Parlor: A place where women curl up and dye.
Beelzebug: Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Bouyant: A male insect.
Bozone: The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Bungee Jumping: Suicide, with strings attached.
Burglarize: What a crook sees with.
Calories: Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes tighter every night.
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people.
Carpetuation: The act of (when vacuuming) running over a piece of string at least a dozen times, bending over, picking it up,
examining it and then dropping it again to let the vacuum have another chance.
Cashtration: The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.