Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!

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WELCOME to Thursday, April 20, 2017. 

Here’s the story……..

Several men are in the locker room of the golf club. A mobile phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function
and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: “Hello”
WOMAN: “Hi Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”
MAN: “Yes.”
WOMAN: “I’m at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000; is it OK if I buy it?”
MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”
WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked.”
MAN: “How much?”
WOMAN: “$90,000.”
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing… I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house
I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $580,000 for it.”
MAN: “Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $550,000. They’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra thirty thousand if it’s what you really want.”
WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”
MAN: “Bye! I love you, too.”
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, “Anyone know whose phone this is?”

That’s my and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!

DAILY QUOTES… “A couple from Florida just set a record by taking their 200th Carnival Cruise. The couple said, ‘What can we say, we love diarrhea.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study finds that if you’re drunk around sober people, you’ll think you’re less drunk than if you’re
around other drunk people. And if you’re drunk around sober people, chances are you’ve got a problem.” -Jimmy Fallon
“On a bittersweet note, the world’s oldest person has died in Italy at the age of 117. It’s tragic; she died in
a knife fight with the world’s second-oldest person. I’m kidding! Do you know how she died? Bungee-jumping.” -James Corden


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. There was a teenage boy who worked in the produce section of the local market. A man
came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter. So he walked into the back and said,
“There’s some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce.” As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing
right behind him, so he added, “and this here gentleman wants to buy the other half…”
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way.
Later the manager called on the boy and said, “You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you
got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?”
The boy replied, “Canada, Sir.”
“Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?” asked the manager.
The boy replied, “They’re all just up-tight, homely women and hockey players up there.”
“Really,” replied the manager, “My wife is from Canada!”
The boy replied, “No kidding! What team did she play for?”😁

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘I don’t want to be the materialistic weasel here, but do you think we’ll get hazard pay?’

      

ANSWER: Armageddon! Spoken by Rockhound (Steve Buscemi) to Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis). 
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘Joe, is it O.K. if I leave the couch? ‘Cause I’m gonna leave the couch now, O.K.? My a– is falling asleep, so I gotta go. I’m leaving.’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….  
Can you decipher this common phrase:
PICT RES
ANSWER: You ought to be in pictures.

Thursday’s Quizzler is……….  

P is to L.
M is to OK.
Hence, D is to ___

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPER QUIZZING BANKS!  🙏🙏🙏🙏🙇

  
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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