Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

man_file_1065969_12ChrisRock
WELCOME to Monday, April 17, 2017.                             
As I Mature… 
I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people just aren’t worth it.
I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I’ve learned that you can keep vomiting, long after you think you’re finished.
I’ve learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place!
I’ve learned that 99% of the time when something isn’t working in your house, one of your kids did it.
I’ve learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.
I’ve learned that it is cheaper to keep her!😌
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…  
“Today is the beginning of the Jewish holiday of Passover, where families gather for a meal and recall a story of ancient grievances. Or as that’s known in my family, ‘Thanksgiving.'” -Conan O’Brien
“A new study suggests that marriage is more beneficial for men than women. The results
of the study were shouted at me through a locked bedroom door.” -Seth Meyers
“A man in Oregon was arrested for growing marijuana after police used Google Earth to track him down. So if you’re one of those crazy conspiracy theorists who thinks the government is watching you with satellites from space, you were right.” -Jimmy Fallon


G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
The pastor of a Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and had them sit around him.
He said, “Today is Easter and you all look so handsome and beautiful. Today we’re going to talk about the resurrection. Does anyone know what the resurrection is?”
One little boy raised his hand, and the pastor said, “Please tell us what the resurrection is.”
The boy, proud that he knew the answer, said in a clear loud voice, “When you get one lasting more than four hours, you gotta call a doctor!”😁

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Pile up enough tomorrows and you’ll find you’ve collected nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays.’
ANSWER: The Music Man! Spoken by Harold Hill (Robert Preston) to Marian Paroo Shirley Jones).  
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘A hit record is like stew. All the ingredients have to come together just right. Otherwise, it’s just soup.’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
My rings tell such a story
Of years past with gracious glory
Where I live is where I stay
From that spot I cannot stray
From my home man taketh me
So they can erect another home, you see
Many others bore into my sides
These things that crawl and things that glide
I weep with beauty or stand with grace
Every year I shed myself to nourish my place
What am I?
ANSWER: I am a tree. My rings are produced every year, just one, and how large it is tells a story of how that
particular year was. Where I grow is where I stay, as I cannot pick up and move. Men cut me down to make their
own homes, and creatures such as birds and squirrels live in me. When I shed my leaves they put nutrients into the ground which keep it fertile.

Friday’s Quizzler is……….  

What does this mean?
search
and
 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS! 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

                     

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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