Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, April 10, 2017.                              
Here’s the story…. 
Five surgeons are having drinks together at a surgical convention and making jokes…
The first, a Florida surgeon, says: “I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.”
The second, a Michigan surgeon, responds: “Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside of them is color coded.”
The third, a California surgeon, says: “No, I really think librarians are the best; everything inside of them is in alphabetical order.”
The fourth, an New York surgeon, chimes in: “You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.”
But the fifth, from Washington D.C. shut them all up when he observed, “You’re all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on.  There’s no guts, no heart, no brains, no spine, and the head and the rear ends are always interchangeable.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…“The shoe store Payless is filing for bankruptcy and closing nearly 400 stores in the United States. Yes, 400 shoe stores closed, but thousands of soles lost.
The problem was their work ethic. Most of Payless was just a bunch of loafers.” -James Corden
“UPS announced yesterday that it will begin delivering packages on Saturdays.
Unless, of course, you plan on being home on Saturday.” -Seth Meyers
“The Fourth of July holiday weekend is almost upon us. The original Brexit is the Fourth of July.
It’s my favorite holiday. You don’t have to wrap anything, other than bacon around a hot dog.” -Jimmy Kimmel
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
While at a marine-supply store stocking up on equipment for my boat, I also purchased an inflatable life preserver.
“It was my wife’s idea,” I explained to the grizzled salesman at the counter. “She’s buying it for me as a gift.”
“Lucky you,” he said as he started to write up the order. “My wife got me a length of chain and a cement block.”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘Put on your Sunday best, kids; we’re going to Sears!’      
ANSWER: Brady Bunch Movie!  Spoken by Mike Brady (Gary Cole) to Greg (Christopher Daniel Barnes), Marcia (Christine Taylor),
Jan (Jennifer Elise Cox), Peter (Paul Sutera), Bobby (Jesse Lee), and Cindy Brady (Olivia Hack).
Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
 ‘The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death? Hmm…is there a catch?’
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
Which is the shortest word in English that contains the letters A, B, C, D, E and F ?
ANSWER: Feedback
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
What expression is represented here?
I hear: “It, It, It, It, …”
You hear: “I_, I_, I_, I_, …”
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/

 

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