Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

funny-marriage-joke
WELCOME to Tuesday, April 4, 2017.   
Here’s the story….  
Cletus is passing by Billy Bob’s hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a striptease in front of an old John Deere tractor.  Bottom clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and gently slides off the right strap of his overalls, followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.  Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.  Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, “What the world’re ya doing, Billy Bob?”  “Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me,” says an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob. “But me ‘n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom d’partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.” That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
DAILY QUOTES…“The FDA is warning New Yorkers about Chinese food after a major Brooklyn distributor was found with rats and birds nesting in boxes of ingredients. The distributor says it’s all a misunderstanding – those ARE the ingredients.” -Seth Meyers
“The Wall Street Journal reported that America has a surplus of cheese and that every person in the country would have to eat an extra three pounds of cheese this year to get rid of it. So the next time the pizza guy judges you for ordering extra cheese, just say, ‘I’m doing this for America.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“The electronics company LG identified a new phenomenon called low-battery anxiety. People become nervous, distracted, and frustrated when their phones are about to die. If you are not familiar with low-battery anxiety, it’s a real condition that primarily affects people with no actual problems.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
One evening after dinner, a five-year-old son noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked, “Where did mommy go?”
His father told him, “Mommy is at a Tupperware party.”
This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. “What’s a Tupperware party, Dad?”
The man had always given my son honest answers, so he figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. “Well, son,” he said, “at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other.”
He nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.
Then he burst into laughter. “Come on, Dad,” he said. “What is it really?”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? 
‘We have so much time and so little to do! Strike that – reverse it.’  
ANSWER:  Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory! Spoken by Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) to Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum) and Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson).
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? 
‘So I’m 40, I’m not married, I don’t fly jets, and I don’t have a dog? I grow up to be a loser.’
TODAY’S MOVIE DIVA AWARD GOES TO MS. KIM HILLYARD. NICE TRIVIA SOLVING KIM!
 
Monday’s Quizzler is……….  
The following are clues that describe words containing an “ant”. The clues do not refer to the words themselves, rather they refer to the word that must be added to the “ant”. For example, “an ant that is waiting for something to happen” would be “expectant” (expect ant). The ant may appear at the beginning or the end of the word. Where it appears is given in the hint should you need it.
1. This ant will rely on you.
2. The end of an ant’s trousers.
3. The first ant.
4. This will burn an ant severely.
5. Two ants going to get married in secret.
6. This ant rides up sloped driveways.
ANSWER: 1. dependant   2. anthem  3. adamant  4. antacid  5. antelope  6. rampant
Friday’s Quizzler is……….  
What does this rebus represent?
gloomy turquoise
temperamental cyan
sullen aquamarine
despondent azure
morose cerulean
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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