Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, March 29, 2017.                         

More Pondering………..
Why is it called a “building” when it is already built?
Why do they call them “apartments” when they are all stuck together?
Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?
If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?
Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?
How can someone “draw a blank”?
Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”?
Why is the word “abbreviate” so long?
Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What is another word for “thesaurus”?
When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?
Why doesn’t “onomatopoeia” sound like what it is?
Why do ‘tug’boats push their barges?
Why do we sing ‘Take me out to the ball game’, when we are already there?
Why are they called ‘stands’ when they’re made for sitting?
Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?
Why does one get in trouble for WRECKless driving?
Does a fish get cramps after eating?
Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. – Albert Einstein

Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a
very simple reason; they made no such demand upon those who wrote them. – Charles Caleb Colson
Whosoever wishes to know about the world must learn about it in its particular details.
Knowledge is not intelligence.
In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected.
Change alone is unchanging.
The same road goes both up and down.
The beginning of a circle is also its end.
Not I, but the world says it: all is one.
And yet everything comes in season.
– Heraklietos of Ephesos
Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep
proving your talent to people who have none. – Jules Renard

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion. After 21 years, the son is old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar and tearfully tells the son he is proud of him.

Dad orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol. Swoooop! A torso pops out!
The bar is dead silent; then bursts into a whoop of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink”! The bartender still shakes his head in dismay.
Swoooop! Two arms pops out. The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink”! The bartender ignores the whole affair. By now the boy is getting tipsy, and with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Swoooop! Two legs pop out.
The bar is in chaos. The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left…. then to the right…. right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly.
The bar falls silent. The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says, “That boy should have quit while he was a head.” 😱
Tuesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Cecile! Keep your legs closed! This isn’t Jamaica!’    

ANSWER: Cruel Intentions! Spoken by Mrs. Caldwell (Christine Baranski) to Cecile Caldwell (Selma Blair).  
 

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘Blane? Blane? That’s an appliance, not a name!’

 
 
 
Tuesday’s Quizzler is……….
There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word – from nine letters right down to a single letter. What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

ANSWER: The base word is startling   starting – staring – string – sting – sing – sin – in – I starling – staring – string – sting – sing – sin – in – I

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….  
As you may know, a group of fish is called a “school”, a group of lions is called a “pride”, and a group of seagulls is called a “flock”. Some are a little more unusual. See if you can guess what animals belong to the following groups:
Crash
Exaltation
Mob
Murder
Parliament
Pod
Sounder
 
                    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

 

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