Monday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Monday, March 20, 2017.                            

Here’s the story……..

A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch & wrote “this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag.”
While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller’s window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and surmising from his spelling errors that

he wasn’t the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, “OK” and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Have a great Monday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES… “Everyone’s OK, but over the weekend off the coast of Florida, a Carnival Cruise ship almost hit two jet skiers. Today, the captain of the ship apologized and said, ‘I’ll get them next time.'” -Conan O’Brien

“College students are out of town for spring break. This is the time of year students take a well-deserved break from partying and drinking at school to go party and drink on a beach.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“Police in South Carolina charged a substitute teacher last week for allegedly being drunk while in class. Students realized she was drunk after she kept referring to lunch period as ‘Miller time.'” -Seth Meyers

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. A young man applied for a job at a new factory being built in a nearby town. He entered the main office, where the receptionist directed him down the hall to an office where he was to be interviewed by the Personnel Officer.  After several minutes of describing and explaining all about the new factory, the Personnel Officer told the young man, “We need individuals who are totally responsible.”

The young man grinned and responded: “Well, I sure qualify. Everywhere I’ve worked, when something went wrong, I was always responsible!”
Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘The jail you planned for me is the one you’re gonna rot in.’

ANSWER: Color Purple! Spoken by Celie (Whoopi Goldberg) to Albert (Danny Glover).

Monday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

‘When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke.’

 
 
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
The name GEORGe mIchAel has the state GEORGIA hidden inside it, in order from left to right. Can you find the states hidden in each of the following?
1. MUSTACHE
2. MAX STEINER
3. GEORGE HARRISON
4. THAT’S THE WAY IT IS
5. INTERDENOMINATIONAL
6. JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME
7. JUMP ON THE BANDWAGON

ANSWER:  1. Utah  2. Maine  3. Ohio   4. Hawaii   5. Indiana  6. Nevada  7. Montana

Monday’s Quizzler is………. 

What is this rebus?

NOSE
your money
CHIN

 

 

 

 

 
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in TUESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

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