Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, March 16, 2017.                            

Funny English Language………..
The market garden was designed to produce produce. Will and Guy’s Jokes – Logic of English Language
The city tip was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
In the boat, a row erupted amongst the oarsmen about how to row.
The nurse wound the crepe bandage around the wound.
Dessie decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Chloe was too close to the door to close it.
When Ted saw the tear in the painting he shed a tear.
How can I intimate my thoughts to my most intimate friend?
Sherrie shed her shoes in the shed.
In terms of weight lead is in the lead.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.  Funny English Language
When the stars are out they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Why do our noses run but our feet smell?
I did not object to the object.
Freddie filled in his form by filling it out.
Why do performers recite a play, yet play at a recital?
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…   “This past weekend, we all moved our clocks ahead by one hour. In other words, that’s our show, goodnight everybody!” -Conan O’Brien

“Everyone is talking about the big snowstorm expected to hit New York. In fact, some are saying we could experience a whiteout. Things will even out on St. Patrick’s Day when we all experience a blackout.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Taco Bell has announced that it is creating a hybrid of its Quesalupas and Doritos Locos Tacos, called the Doritos Quesalupa Crunch. Of course, if you can say that, you’re probably not drunk enough to eat it. -Seth Meyers

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. At a workshop on dog temperament, the instructor noted that a test for a canine’s disposition was for an owner to fall down and act hurt. A dog with poor temperament would try to bite the person, whereas a good dog would lick his owner’s face or show concern.

Once, while eating pizza in the living room, I decided to try out this theory on my two dogs. I stood up, clutched my heart, let out a scream and collapsed on the floor.
The dogs looked at me, glanced at each other and raced to the coffee table for my pizza.😱
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from???

‘Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.’

ANSWER: Being John Malkovich! Spoken by Lotte Schwartz (Cameron Diaz) to Craig Schwartz (John Cusack).

 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???

‘I offered you the world, and at the first test of honor I betrayed your trust.’

 
 
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What popular TV show is represented below?
MyForgottenChildhoodSweetheart.doc
MyOldCollegeGirlfriend.exe
MyDivorcedWife.bat

ANSWER: “The X-Files.” The Ex(Ex-wife, girlfriends etc)-Files (files of a computer).

Thursday’s Quizzler is………. You have no control over me,

I am not real, though sometimes you believe me,
I come back every night, but am often forgotten,
Though left alone, I will never become rotten,
Sometimes I remind you of things yet to come,
Sometimes, watching me, you do things you’ve never done,
I rarely ever turn out to be true,
Now I am done with this riddle for you.
What am I?
    

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

 

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