Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Thursday, February 23, 2017.                 

Funny Proverbs – According to 6 year old Grade School Students…………..
Mary taught first grade.  She had a class of twenty-five adorable 6 yr old students.  One day Mary gave each child the first half of a well known proverb and asked them to write in the remainder of the proverb.  It’s hard to believe these funny proverbs were actually written first graders.  While reading the results, keep in mind that these are only first graders, just 6 years old.
No news is……………………….impossible.
Love all, trust………………….. me.
An idle mind is……………………the best way to relax.
Strike while the…………………..bug is close.
Better late than…………………..pregnant.
A penny saved is…………………. not much.
Don’t change horses………………..until they stop running.
A miss is as good as a ………………. Mr.
Happy is the bride who………………….gets all the presents.
Two’s company, three’s………………….. the Musketeers.
Don’t bite the hand that…………………. looks dirty.
It’s always darkest before………………….Daylight Saving Time.
There are none so blind as ……………….. Stevie Wonder.
Where there’s smoke there’s ………………. pollution.
The pen is mightier than the………………… pigs.
If at first you don’t succeed…………………. get new batteries.
When the blind lead the blind ……………….. get out of the way!
Children should be seen and not ………………spanked or grounded.
You can’t teach an old dog new ………….. ….math.
Don’t put off till tomorrow what……………….. you put on to go to bed.
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll…………………. stink in the morning.
You can lead a horse to water but ……………… how?
Never underestimate the power of ……………….. termites.
You get out of something only what you …………… see in the picture on the box.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you………….. cry and you have to blow your nose.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday day people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…  “Astronomers say they now know the approximate weight of the Milky Way. They found this out by adding 10 pounds to the Milky Way’s weight on its Tinder profile.” -Conan O’Brien

“A man in Georgia was arrested for stealing a Krispy Kreme doughnut truck and leading police on a high-speed chase. The police charged him with one count of grand theft irony.” -Jimmy Fallon
“A survey by the national retail foundation said that some people even give their fish Valentine’s Day gifts. A good way to tell that you’ve lost your mind is if you give your fish a Valentine’s Day gift.” –Jimmy Kimmel

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….  One woman was talking to her friend, “You should listen to my neighbor,” she says. “She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy, stupid and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?” 😱😱

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “So, you’re great people to work with, this is a great present, and I wish I could squeeze you all into one pretty woman. And if you’d like to go to my office, I’ll try.”

ANSWER: Defending Your Life! Spoken by Daniel Miller (Albert Brooks) to his co-workers. The story of a dead man in a city-like afterlife and his attempt to prove that his life was worth something, in order to allow him to “move forward”. Starring: Albert Brooks, Meryl Streep, and Rip Torn. 

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “How fickle is woman!”

Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. Reveal the quote by eliminating the letters of the alphabet that are not part of the quote. The unused letters go in alphabetical order from A-Z.

ATBAKCEDCAERFEOGFHTIHEJMINKUT

ELSFOMRTHNEOPHOURQSWRILLTSATKEUCAVREOFWTHXEMSYELVZES

ANSWER: TAKE CARE OF THE MINUTES FOR THE HOURS WILL TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.

Thursday’s Quizzler is………. Today Mooey has a challenging test from his mentor. He must spell all the words correctly. If he does, he will become a mentor, and teach other cows! Mooey studied as hard as he could the night before his challenge. He is on the last word of the list, and is scared! He is sure that the first 19 words are correct, but the last word is always a secret bonus word. Can you help Mooey?

Mentor: The last word is actually two words. It is your name. (Mooey’s last name was Mooer)
Mooey was shocked! The bonus word was always extra-hard! He was just about to scrape “Mooey Mooer” in the mud, when he thought of something. It ended up making him a mentor. What did Mooey scrape in the mud?
 TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO OUR RESIDENT GENIUS, MS ANDREA L. BANKS! NICE WORK BANKS. 🙏

     

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

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