WELCOME to Thursday, February 2, 2017.
Marriage quotes 101…………..
There was a man who said, “I never knew what happiness was until I got married…and then it was too late!”
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
They say when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage, it is self-defense.
When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.
There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through hell.
A Code of Honor: Never approach a friend’s girlfriend or wife with mischief as your goal. There are just too many women in the world to justify that sort of dishonorable behavior. Unless she’s really attractive. — Bruce Friedman
A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage. — Marvin Kitman
A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while ladies are present.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband is what’s left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. — Helen Rowland
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do,
don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“The Dallas Public Library displays one of the original copies of the Declaration of Independence – also the only copy stained with barbecue sauce.” -Conan O’Brien
“Tostitos is coming out with a limited-edition bag that actually doubles as a breathalyzer. Here’s how it works: If you’re breathing into a bag of Tostitos, you’re probably drunk.” -Jimmy Fallon
“An art gallery in Finland recently put on an exhibition of paintings created by a brown bear named Juuso. The exhibition sold 15 of the bear’s paintings, raising $8,500. Fifteen paintings – that is 14 more paintings than Van Gogh sold in his entire lifetime.” -James Corden
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: “An intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse’s mate is found in a ‘compromising position.'”
“See, I have a problem with that passion business,” responded the jury candidate. “During my first marriage, I came in and found my husband in bed with my neighbor. All I did was divorce him. I had no idea that I could have shot him.”
She wasn’t selected for the jury.
Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above.’
ANSWER: ‘The African Queen’ Spoken by Rose Sayer (Katharine Hepburn) to Charlie Allnut (Humphrey Bogart).
Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘What’s wrong with the way I talk? What’s the big idea? Am I dumb or something?’
Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….
What does the following rebus represent?
LAUG SIDE HTER
ANSWER: Sidesplitting laughter!
Thursday’s Quizzler is……….
For each of the following word pairs, you are looking for a two word answer. The first is a rhyme of the first word and gives the category. The second word is a rhyme and is a specific word in that category. For example, “Kitty, Tennis” translates to “City, Venice”.
1. Fainter, Jolly
2. Slumber, Heaven
3. Reason, Printer
4. Quiver, Bongo
5. Power, Crazy
6. Handy, Muffle
7. Sticker, Frisky
TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! GREAT JOB BANKS!
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.org. www.GodLovesPraise.com, www.stlzoo.org