Tuesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

Catsmob.com - The coolest pics on the net!

WELCOME to Tuesday, January 24, 2017.      

The Procrastinator’s creed…
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitesimally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan-start-finish, but is wait-plan-plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do,

don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…  “Best Buy will start selling solar panels in an effort to promote energy conservation. Best Buy says you can find the panels right next to the 300 flat-screen TVs they leave on all day.” -Jimmy Fallon

“Lululemon is the company that makes yoga pants that are so tight they cut off circulation to the part of your brain that decides how much money is OK to spend on yoga pants.” -Jimmy Kimmel
“There are some accusations that Silicon Valley discriminates against people because of their age. Elderly groups are so furious about this that they plan to send Silicon Valley an angry fax.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

A man is sitting in the coach section of a flight from New York to Chicago biting his finger nails and sweating profusely. Noticing his disturbed expression, a flight attendant walks over and says, “Sir, can I get you something from the bar to calm you down?”
The man gives a nod of approval while shaking terribly. She comes back with a drink and he downs it quickly. Ten minutes later, the flight attendant sees the same man shaking and biting his nails. She brings him another drink which he swallows immediately.
A half hour later she returns to see that the man is shaking uncontrollably, and apparently crying. “My goodness,” the flight attendant says, “I’ve never seen someone so afraid to fly.”
“I’m not afraid of flying,” says the man sobbing loudly, “I’m trying to give up drinking.”

Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? ‘Come out here, you little pipsqueak, and fight like a man!’

ANSWER:  ‘The Little Mermaid’ Spoken by Chef Louie (Rene Auberjonois) to Sebastian the Crab (Samuel E. Wright). 
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???  ‘When you become a real boy, remember me to the ladies when you grow up!’

 

 

Monday’s Quizzler is……….    Each of the following sentences contains clues to a set of three words that are anagrams of each other (each sentence describes a different set).

1) George threw his extra javelin through two fleshy fruits related to an apple.
2) Mary had to halt the food preparation because she found a stain on each of the cooking utensils.
3) Per the negotiation, Isaac agreed to guide the troops through the valley.
4) How would you respond if the container of supplies had disappeared without a vestige?

ANSWER:  

spare = extra
spear = javelin
pears = fruit related to the apple
stop = halt
spot = stain
pots = cooking utensils
deal = negotiation
lead = guide
dale = valley
react = respond
crate = container
trace = vestige

  

Tuesday’s Quizzler is………. 

What phrase is represented below?
NME NME NME
NME I Am NME
NME NME NME

TODAY’S QUIZZMASTER OF THE DAY AWARD GOES TO MS. ANDREA L. BANKS! SUPERIOR SOLVING JOB BANKS! 

       

LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s