Thursday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

15492619_1698760340438024_4484514826600308116_n.jpg

WELCOME to Thursday, December 29, 2016.    

Wit-less?
Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
Auto repair service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you’ll never go anywhere again.
No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks [Taste like chicken?]
Our friend Eddie has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, Eddie takes something for it.
I stayed up all night playing Texas Hold’em with a deck of tarot cards.  I got a royal flush and five people died.
I spilled ‘Spot’ remover on my dog.  Now he’s disappeared.
Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A fool is the witticism of nature

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Thursday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP!  Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…

“Amazon’s home assistance device, ‘The echo,’ is already sold out until after the holidays. In the meantime, if you want to yell at something to turn off the lights or music in your house, just try your kids.” -Jimmy Fallon
“Ford announced today that it will resume car production in Venezuela starting this April. Employees will celebrate with a Fiesta.” -Seth Meyers
“A study has confirmed that eating less increases your lifespan. The study goes on to advise the residents of Wisconsin to get their affairs in order.” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

When my daughter was about 9-years-old I became pregnant again. Of course, she wanted to know how it happened, so I gave what I considered an appropriate explanation of the process.
She asked, “Did you do that to get me?”
I said “yes,” and she responded, “And you did it again?”

Wednesday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “Mr. Dufresne, describe the confrontation you had with your wife the night that she was murdered.”
 

ANSWER: The Shawshank Redemption! In 1946, a banker named Andy Dufresne (Tim Robbins) is convicted of a double murder, even though he stubbornly proclaims his innocence. He’s sentenced to a life term at the Shawshank State Prison in Maine.

Thursday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? ‘We’re totally weak. We can’t possibly fight you.’

Wednesday’s Quizzler is……….

In the paragraph below, each blank must be filled by a five-letter word, and the words are all anagrams of each other (the words all contain the same five letters, in different order). Can you fill in the blanks?
Quaint _____ this hotel supplies,
That don’t appear upon the bill.
I speak of roaches, _____, and flies.
You _____ and slap. They’re with you still.
At _____ each guest _____ pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.

ANSWER: Quaint ITEMS this hotel supplies,

That don’t appear upon the bill.
I speak of roaches, MITES, and flies.
You SMITE and slap. They’re with you still.
At TIMES each guest EMITS pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.

 

Thursday’s Quizzler is………. 

Which word in Group B can be added to Group A? Why?
Group A: diction, equate, renal, visor
Group B: concrete, greedy, mission, stupid, without, yodel

                         
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in FRIDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.o

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s