Wednesday’s Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers and Teases!‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏‏

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WELCOME to Wednesday, December 28, 2016.   

Church Ladies with Typewriters..
Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’The sermon tonight:’Searching for Jesus.’
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.  Bring your husbands.
Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Nellie Morgan and John Rees were married on February 2nd in Newtown’s Baptist church.  So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Seven new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of new members, and to the deterioration of some of older ones.
Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
St Hilary church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
The ladies of St Peter’s Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a wonderful Wednesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!


DAILY QUOTES…

“More millennials are looking to get rid of extra piercings and even remove their tattoos. Researchers say it’s due to a new phenomenon occurring among millennials called turning 30.” -Jimmy Fallon
“According to a recent study, Pokemon go players have collectively walked 5.7 billion miles while using the app. They’ve walked everywhere except into a job interview.” -Seth Meyers
“Today, Queen Elizabeth stepped down as the patron of children’s charities. The queen said, ‘I just realized I really hate kids.'” -Conan O’Brien

G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F…. 

I figured that at age seven it was inevitable for my son to begin having doubts about Santa Claus.
Sure enough, one day he said, “Mom, I think I’ve figured something out about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.”
Taking a deep breath, I asked him, “What is that?”
He replied, “They’re all nocturnal.”

Friday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman. My parents were on the same plane when it crashed. That´s how they met. They named me after the name of the plane.”
 

ANSWER: Snatch! The movie opens with a scene where two men are sitting in front of another one. We see the face Turkish (Jason Statham), who tells us the origin of his name and introduces his friend Tommy.

Wednesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from??? “Mr. Dufresne, describe the confrontation you had with your wife the night that she was murdered.”

 

 

 

 

Friday’s Quizzler is……….

Which word in Group B can be added to Group A? Why?
Group A: diction, equate, renal, visor
Group B: concrete, greedy, mission, stupid, without, yodel

ANSWER: Each word in Group A can have “ad” added to its beginning to make a new word.

diction – addiction
equate – adequate
renal – adrenal
visor – advisor
thus
mission – admission

 

Wednesday’s Quizzler is………. 

In the paragraph below, each blank must be filled by a five-letter word, and the words are all anagrams of each other (the words all contain the same five letters, in different order). Can you fill in the blanks?
Quaint _____ this hotel supplies,
That don’t appear upon the bill.
I speak of roaches, _____, and flies.
You _____ and slap. They’re with you still.
At _____ each guest _____ pained screams
That ought to plague the owner’s dreams.

                         
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in THURSDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases!  Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/ 

LINKS: www.slampi.org., www.hopeBUILD.orgwww.GodLovesPraise.comwww.stlzoo.org

 

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