WELCOME to Tuesday, December 20, 2016.
If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.
It’s impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
‘Stewardesses’ is the longest word typed with only the left hand and ‘lollipop’ with your right.
The average person’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
The cruise liner, QE2, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
The sentence: ‘The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog’, uses every letter of the alphabet.
The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.
The words ‘racecar’, ‘kayak’ and ‘level’ are palindromes. They read the same whether you read them left to right or right to left.
There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
There are more chickens than people in the world.
There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: ‘abstemious’ and ‘ facetious.’
There’s no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewables Vitamins.
Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks; otherwise it will digest itself.
Now you know everything.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Have a great Tuesday people, and whatever you do, don’t forget to LAUGH IT UP! Peace, I am outta here, Eucman!
“A restaurant here in New York is serving a grilled cheese-flavored martini. Or as parents put it, ‘Finally, a way to get my kids to finish their martinis.'” -Jimmy Fallon
“In China, an animal trainer taught his monkeys kung fu but then they turned on him using their best kung fu moves. If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times only teach your monkeys your worst Kung Fu moves.” -Conan O’Brien
“Scientists said yesterday that the T. rex may have had teeth serrated like a steak knife, which may have helped it eat meat more efficiently. Experts believe the T. rex evolved the knife-like teeth after having so much trouble using regular silverware.” -Seth Meyers
G U A R A N T E D T O M A K E Y O U L A F F….
When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me.
At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. “Believe it or not,” I said, “this is for a sick dog.”
As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, “These are for my cats.”
Monday’s Movie Trivia of the day!‘ What movie is this quote from??? “When you love someone, you´ve gotta trust them.”
ANSWER: Casino (1995)
Tuesday Movie Trivia of the day! What movie is this quote from???
“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin’ like this — and totally redeem yourself! Ha Ha!”
Monday’s Quizzler is……….
A spoonerism is a pair of words that can have their initial sounds switched to form new words. The pairs need only sound the same, not necessarily be spelled the same (power saw & sour paw, horse cart & coarse heart). There may sometimes be one or two connecting words (kick the stone & stick the cone, king of the rats & ring of the cats). Given the following definitions, what are the spoonerisms?
1) bed item and grape beverage & a tree and a tree
2) stony headwear & rodent puck handler
3) locomotive accident & a wading bird’s garbage
4) a prim and proper man from Stockholm & a sugary necessity
1) cave brat & brave cat
2) witch daughter & ditch water
3) dairy foods & fairy dudes
4) touch down & Dutch town
Friday’s Quizzler is……….
In each sentence below, two words are incomplete. The two words end in the same three letters, so they look like they should rhyme, but they don’t. See if you can figure out the missing letters in each sentence.
Example: One symptom of bronchitis is a ro___ co___. (The two words are: rough & cough.)
1. When you g___ up, I will let you climb the ship’s p___.
2. Do you want to be a ri___ swimmer or an ocean di___?
3. The strongest oarsman in the boat is a po___ ro___.
4. The cheap tickets didn’t al___ them to go be___ deck.
LOOK for answers to today’s quizzlers in WEDNESDAYS Jokes, Quotes, Quizzlers & Teases! Like this newsletter? Want to receive it daily? Also, if you are on the list and do not want to continue to receive this email and would like your name removed from this distribution list, please send an email to the Eucman at Eucstraman@hotmail.com.https://dailyjokesquotesquizzlersandteases.wordpress.com/
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